Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Hockey: The Musical - Why do you build me up, Buttercup?

Ahhh, my pal Antti over at the Wild Message Board outdid himself today with this fabulous re-write of "Build me up, Buttercup" in honor of Cal's recent run-ins with various NHL personalities. It's good stuff.

But it works best if you have the song playing, so run this YouTuberation of the original and then dive in. Feel free to sing along in your cubicle. Ms. Conduct's got your back if The Man hassles you about it.



Alex Burrows sings the chorus:

Why do you build me up (build me up) Clutterbuck, baby

Just to knock me down (knock me down) and mess me around,

And then worst of all (worst of all) you hit from behind

When my back was turned (back was turned) Oh, I hate you so.

I hate you (I hate you) more than anyone, Calvin,

It’s hate from your head to your toes…

So check me fair (check me fair) Clutterbuck, don't break my nose.


Keith Yandle sings:

"That’s 2, 5 and 10", ref told you time and again:

When you fight, don’t leave your windshield on (bah dah dah).

My knuckles are red, cuz I can’t find your head

Great One said: “take your damned visor off!”


(Hey, hey, hey!) Hey Coach Gretzky, get a grip

(Hey, hey, hey!) It’s our turn, you are a has-been

(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be fine

I'll fight him on my time, … k ’99?

Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo


Alex Burrows sings the chorus:

Why do you build me up (build me up) Clutterbuck, baby

Just to knock me down (knock me down) and mess me around,

And then worst of all (worst of all) you hit from behind

When my back was turned (back was turned) Oh, I hate you so.

I hate you (I hate you) more than anyone, Calvin,

It’s hate from your head to your toes…

So check me fair (check me fair) Clutterbuck, don't break my nose.


Donald S. Cherry sings:

I took you to task on a Saturday night, CBC,

I called you “Buttercup” (bah dah dah).

And now I hear talk - that you blasted me back - in the Trib,

I got your dander up.


(Hey, hey, hey!) Calvin, Calvin hear me out

(Hey, hey, hey!) A little face time – I’ll make you famous

(Hey, hey, hey!) I’ll be on

I will be tellin’ Ron – YOU are da bomb!

Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo


Alex Burrows sings the chorus:

Why do you build me up (build me up) Clutterbuck, baby

Just to knock me down (knock me down) and mess me around,

And then worst of all (worst of all) you hit from behind

When my back was turned (back was turned) Oh, I hate you so.

I hate you (I hate you) more than anyone, Calvin,

It’s hate from your head to your toes…

So check me fair (check me fair) Clutterbuck, don't break my nose.


I-I-I hate you-oo-oo more than anyone, Calvin

It’s hate from your head to your toes…

So check me fair (check me fair) Clutterbuck, don't break my nose.

{fade}

Lennon/McCartney/Laxative - Apple Records - 2009

Awesome work, Antti!

If I'm an opposing team's music person, I've got my finger on the button for this song the second he gets a penalty or gets in a fight or whatever. Brutal. But funny.

8 comments:

Mikko the Cornerstone  February 3, 2009 at 4:43 PM  

Awesome!

Ms. C,

I have looked into Cal buttons. It would take about a week to get them made at about a buck a piece if I order 250. I am still pondering if I should go through with it. Please give me your input.

Ms. Conduct  February 3, 2009 at 4:45 PM  

Email me on the button thing, Mikko. :)

walkinvisible  February 3, 2009 at 4:59 PM  

antti ? mikko ? dude, you love finns like i love swedes... ;)

Ms. Conduct  February 3, 2009 at 5:06 PM  

We'll trade you Kim Johnsson for Kipper! :)

Fred  February 3, 2009 at 6:05 PM  

When I see "(Hey, hey, hey!) Calvin, Calvin hear me out" I hear David Seville, of Alvin and The Chipmunks fame, singing "AAAALLLLVVVVIIIINNNN!!!!!!" instead of Calvin.

buddhafisch  February 3, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

Phenomenal. Exactly what I needed after a wholly shitty day at work and being sick.

Thank you to the writer, and thank you Ms. C for putting it in front of my nose.

Jim May  February 3, 2009 at 11:28 PM  

If you do those buttons, I can probably get you fifty or more sales. Cal is my cousin's son, and I'm pretty certain I could find a home for all fifty of them amongst his extended family, at least. (That will be a hell of a surprise when he shows up at the next family event!)

If this looks like the buttons are going to happen, head on over to my portfolio website www.altyna.com and fish around for the contact form and drop me a note with contact info. I'll also be bookmarking you, so I'll check back every once in a while, see how it's going.

Jim May  February 3, 2009 at 11:29 PM  

I should also add that my fiance and I sang the song with modified lyrics. Thanks Antii for the laugh!

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