Dirty Minds

I really need to find a way to make money writing humorous-but-dirty stuff about hockey players. I feel like it's my calling. Some day I'll write a super-trashy hockey novel and make all my hockey girlfriends read it, but somehow keep Mr. C from reading it. He'd be scarred for life.

My latest picks for the 5-Hole Fantasy League are particularly scandalous and another former B-Sens player, Jason Bailey, falls prey to my affections. I know they won the Calder Cup and all, but really, their GM should be applauded for assembling one of the handsomest teams in the history of the league.

Here's the article and I have to say, Jason was a good sport about it and loved the article. He's a fox and a gentleman (hopefully not TOO much of a gentleman though...)

So currently my team, the Johnson City Sausagemen, looks like this:

Goalies: Barry Brust (C), Alex Stalock, Joey MacDonald
Forwards: Mikko Koivu (A), Cal Clutterbuck, Jason Bailey
D-Men: Michael Del Zotto, Clayton Stoner, Roman Josi
IceMen: Travis Snider, Drew Barrymore, Lyle Overbay

OMG, I love them so much. Once all my picks are done, I'm gonna photoshop a team photo together. That's gonna be epic.



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Women's league starts back up tomorrow. Super excited. I have the same captain as last season, and I adore her and her partner, so that's comforting for me. Haven't played with any of my other teammates before, but a little birdy tells me it's a good group of gals.

The teams are named after space shuttles and we're Discovery. Oooo.....

It'll just be awesome to play a game that matters again for the first time since April when we won the championship.

Since Mr.C is set to be out of town, I'm jumping on the ice with the Harpies Wednesday, too. Enjoy playing with that group quite a lot and don't do it more because a) I prefer to play for free and b) they built a friggin' Cheesecake Factory next to the quiet, mostly-ignored corner of the mall parking lot right by the back door to the rink. So suddenly you're parking a quarter mile away, unless you get lucky, and then dragging your gear from and to your car. Not cool, Memorial City Mall. Not. Cool.

Genius idea for the day is a hockey valet service there. Drop your gear off at the door, they keep an eye on it while you go park in BFE. And the reverse when you leave for the night. Yeah? GENIUS. Or I may be a total candy-ass... or both.

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Go Sausagemen!

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Quick hits: Playoffs?!, InGoalMag piece, Fantasy

It's playoff time, bitches!

I'm a little bit WOOO! and a little bit "OMG I have to write about EVERY game??" Because seriously, I'm used to having time to craft and tinker over stories. But game stories? No time for that.

Plus, it all feels very jinxy having to start writing before the game is over. When I'm covering for Andrew for the Chronicle, it's like pulling teeth to open that blank page on my laptop during the first intermission, but I know I have to or I have no hope of making deadline.

Anyway, I think the Peoria match-up is a fun one, if not particularly advantageous. But really, in the West, who's "easy" to beat? Absolutely no one.

Mr.C and I immediately put the Boston/Montreal series on our Must See TV calendar. I mean, shit. That's got the makings of World War III.

And of course, I'll be keeping one googly eye on Binghamton and Manchester. The B-Sens got 8 players back from Ottawa Sunday. And I thought the 5 Aeros we're getting back felt like a lot.

Had to laugh at the Pirates vs. the Whale (nautical theme!) and the Bears vs. Checkers (both bear mascots... one grizzly, one polar) match-ups in the East. If you're the type who makes your picks based on the mascots, I'm not sure which way to go on those two.

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I finally put together my story from Thursday's adventure getting in net for some of the Aeros players and coaches and media. What a great time that was. You can read about it here: http://ingoalmag.com/news/on-the-ice-with-the-houston-aeros/

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After finishing in last place last season, I finished 2nd in my fantasy hockey rotisserie league this season. The #1 guy was 30 points ahead of me. So I like to consider myself first place among the people who weren't cheating. ;) It's a keeper league and I have Jeff Skinner and Corey Perry, so I'm feeling pretty fucking rich for next year. I'mma go buy myself something silver to celebrate. Maybe a Hershey bar.

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Quick Hits: Fantasy, Ugly Jerseys, Vinyl Mask Art, Poodlecize

My fantasy team really did have a fantasy day today. I had 7 skaters active (no goalies). 9 goals, 5 assists, +12. Whatever I fed them for breakfast, they're eating every day now. Just sorry Corey Perry had to blow up against MY team, but whatever.

Between my +8.5 and the guy behind me with -6, I've finally got a bit of distance there and made a nice gain on the guy in the #1 spot. I'm coming for you, Kevin, and not in a good way.

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Got Friday's Binghamton game from AHL Live to watch tonight while I did some stitching and repairs on my goalie gear. Fun game and they weren't kidding about some big saves and some loud chanting. Lots of moving the puck behind the net. The team is clearly getting better at responding to that and taking advantage of it. THAT is fun to watch.

The Sens won again today in Rochester, but not quite as stalwart a defensive effort and it took 5 goals + 2 shootout markers to get the win. But hey, a W's a W.

Aeros stunk it up though. Expected a let-down after such a wild game Friday and some tough travel, so NBD.

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Some fuss about the Everblades hideous Christmas jerseys, including getting on the front page of Yahoo! Sports as a Puck Daddy feature.

A non-hockey friend even tweeted it to me, and the fact that she even knew it was off the hook sorta set me off. Ugly jerseys have always been a bit of a burr under my saddle.

I don't understand why teams would want to do that to their players. I know it gets media attention but it just seems disrespectful. To have to roll out and face a team you know is going, "Fuck man, you look like a Florida tourist shop barfed all over you." and have to grind it out. I dunno. Just seems like a bad idea. And just to make my point, the Blades lost.

I'd want my players to look good and feel good, wouldn't you?

Reminds me of when I shaved the dog at the beginning of the summer. He's just a dog but he knew he looked stupid and he was giving us stink eye for days over it. So you really think you're gonna get your best from guys you've dressed up like clowns?

And the SOCKS! My god, the socks....

*sigh*

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I bought this vinyl mask "paint." $25 for a totally new look for my mask. Worth a shot, right? I'll be sure and offer up a full review here, assuming I win the battle and am able to take my cage off. Hopefully it won't be like last time and require a drill and much frustration.

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Um. You can't un-see stuff like this. Especially at 2:45. Oh my.

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Quick Hits: Concession, Sanitization, Monovision

I'll be a good sport and concede the Super Bowl to my buddy Kevin. I spent all day watching his stupid score run up while mine sat immobile because my team didn't show up today.

I mean, to a man, they all underachieved. So, hey, sometimes it's just not your day. Pretty sure I was lucky to even get as far as I got. Head to head competition is like that sometimes, though rarely does it go quite so much in my favor.

On the plus side, I did get an EPIC nap this afternoon. Wouldn't be surprised if I whimpered and kicked my hands and feet like Major does when he's really getting his nap on. Chasing goalies? Ha.

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I also ordered up a new washer and dryer this afternoon. I used my mom's washer over Christmas and the "Sanitize" feature completely killed the funk in my chest protector, pants, and jock. And since Mr.C is forever belly-aching about my gear stinking up the garage and our current set is quite old and doesn't do all that good a job anymore, we got in on a good deal at Best Buy and got a new set.

Pretty excited about that, my friends. And I haaaate doing laundry, but I do a shit ton of it playing as much as I do. Waiting for a dryer that folds everything for me.

Total aside: OMG, this guy Keller on the Jets has the nicest ass I've seen since Aaron Voros. If I were home alone, I'd rewind and pause. If I gave a shit about football, I'd be a Jets fan now.

I feel old getting excited about a new washer. Does it make it cooler that I'm excited about it for hockey purposes?

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Speaking of old, I've got an eye doc appt out in Sugar Land on Tuesday morning. I'm kind of excited about it because this doc is supposed to be really good and I've definitely got eye issues.

They don't affect me much in normal life, but seeing the puck is kinda important and it does affect that. I found out how bad it was last year before I started playing, but the conversation went something like this with my old doc:

Me: "Soooo, my eyes are pretty messed up."
Doc: Noncommittal shrug and head bob

Me: "Well, the thing is that I'm a hockey player and I'm about to take up being a goalie, so.... you know... seeing the puck flying at me is important."
Doc: Sympathetic look

Me: *staring a hole through doc waiting for some kind of useful response*
Doc: "Here's some anti-Obama propaganda about how the Democrats are going to ruin the world. This is very serious business."

Me: "Uh huh" *mentally firing him*
Doc: "Okay, see you next year. Say hi to Mr. C!"

FAAAAAAAACK. You asshole!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have plenty to report on Tuesday, as new doc is supposed to be much better and specializes in issues with vision for, um, athletes. Cuz, you know, I pretend to be one of those.

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No hockey for me tonight still. And Aeros game tomorrow. Back at it on Tuesday with the college boy drop-in. Can't wait! (No really! I ended up having a lot of fun last week! Bitches think they can skate in close and pop one around me? Ha. POKE!)

Though speaking of hockey boys, I ran across this article on CHRIS HOLT! getting sent back down to Elmira (after tearing it up in Bingo during his AHL call-up). Here's coach Don Nachbaur:

"They've all got to play. I can't keep three guys here. It just won't work that way. It doesn't mean (Holt is) going to be down there for a long time. We know he's played real well, but we want to keep our goaltenders sharp, and inactivity, they build up rust. And with three guys, I surely can't divvy that ice time up and be fair about it.

"Chris is a young guy, and he's played really well. We know that. And we'll see where the future takes us. But I don't expect him to be down long."

Hmmmm, sounds familiar. Welcome back to Ms.Conduct's Home for Homeless Goalies, Chris. We'll say it for you: "Really? Chiodo? Over me? REALLY?" We know. We understand. There there... *huuuuuuuu.... uuuuuuuuuuu..... uuuuuuuuuug*

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AHHHHH CRAP! I lost to Bourne in hockey, too! Shit. Now I gotta pay up.

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I didn't come here lookin' for trouble...

Am I supposed to SLEEP after that Aeros game? Pfffft. If I sleep, I might forget some of it. Actually, to be honest, I'm not sure I saw most of it. Anything not happening around Brusty's net might as well have been happening on the moon.

I mean, yay for the goals to get them within one, but goals schmoals. I can't say I've ever wallowed in one player's performance more than I did tonight. If I could fill a bathtub with it and soak in it, I would. What does the knob on that faucet look like? Hah, never mind.

Read my official (yeah, so official) report of the game at T3I, but it's special enough that I had to spread the love over here, too.

I'm physically tired just from watching the game tonight. Living and dying with every shot, every stinking breakaway (thanks a bunch, boys), every glorious save.

The effort now comes in not getting my hopes too high that Dubie will sign a deal while he's over in Europe, or get lost in the Alps and join a clan of Samsquanches, or miss his flight back and decide it's not worth the trouble to rebook. *sigh*

Anyway, it was fun to watch from down in the corner of the ice by Barry's net for the final two periods. My feeling is, who knows how many chances I'll get to see him this season and the overall flow of the game was so horrendous, I'm not missing anything by being at a weird angle to watch most of it.

I couldn't even tell you how the goals for the Aeros were scored. And really, I was in the middle of trying to tweet the AeroDynamic of the game (to humor John) when Anton was scored on the first time. And then was tweeting that goal when he was scored on the second time, but I saw that red light and my very first thought was, "Barry, put your shit on!" And I look at the bench and he's hopping up and putting his shit on. Hooray for KC's itchy trigger finger!!!

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Meanwhile, the gals in Florida with the Blades are "Lusty for Brusty." I get the impression there may be t-shirts. Pretty sure I need one of those. Do they come in size Cougar? Along with a place to hide it from Mr.C, who probably wouldn't appreciate that motto emblazoned across my chest.

Of course, I have a bit of a territorial instinct kicking in here, too. But I'll keep that to myself. (John is shocked again at my restraint.)

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It's a big BIG fantasy sports week for me. First of all, I'm in the Super Bowl of my Fantasy Football league. It's me against Kevin in PA, who has a pretty damn good team and the record to prove it. He's also a fantasy stud, so probably has some tricks up his sleeve, but I've gotten this far being completely clueless so maybe the luck will continue.

The thing is, my QB is Peyton Manning and since the Colts are clearly just coasting to the finish since they're undefeated, do I risk that they don't play him much or do I play his brother instead? Urgh. For now, I'm sticking with Peyton, but I will recheck that before I make a final decision tomorrow.

I also picked up a new K and RB off of free agency. We'll see how they fit into the team chemistry tomorrow.

I won second place last season and I feel like that's probably where I'm heading this year again, but we'll see. That's why they play the game, right?

The other decision I had to make was to play Joshua Cribbs or Kevin Walter at WR. Mr.C's suggestion was that Cribbs isn't going to have much opportunity to run anything back because Janikowski can boot it into the next county if he wants to (and why would you risk letting Cribbs have the ball if you can prevent it?) Crap, I hope that was a good call.

Kevin Walter, I could really use some big time production out of you, hot stuff.

But almost as big as the super bowl is going up against Bourne in his blog's fantasy hockey league this week. We've got a side bet going involving our blogs, and there's been some quality trash talking.

And tonight we are tied 5 to 5. *biting nails* Not a ton of games tomorrow, but enough to spread the "difference making" around a bit. So if you need me tomorrow, I'll be gluuuuuued to my live StatsTracker windows trying to win the Super Bowl and beat Bourney. Awesome!

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Confessions of a fantasy draft addict

When the nerds sit down to design a computer, a laptop no less, why does it seem like a good idea to make the whole thing glossy black and the click buttons chromey silver? They should have called my new laptop the Fingerprint. It's less than 24 hours in my possession and it looks like I store it in a bucket of fried chicken.

But that's okay because I'm more about substance than style (lie), and it's working just peachy. So nice not to have to lumber through all the crap software they put on my work laptop or get warnings from IT for having certain software installed. And porn! Oh the PORN! (Oh, what, like you don't?)

But I'm going to need the little fella because I'm now signed up for 4 friggin' fantasy hockey leagues. I swore to myself: only 2 leagues and NO 20-team leagues. But that email comes: Hey, wanna join? AUGH. Yes! YES I do.

Why? Because I love to draft. I love the possibility, the "ohmygodpleasedon'ttakemyguy" anticipation of my pick coming up, the satisfaction of feeling like I "stole" someone, and that glow at the end when I've picked a darn fine team, tempered by the sinking feeling that I've now jinxed 18 guys to crappy seasons (I REALLY fucked the Stars last season). I'll be issuing my apologies to my players before the season starts.

Anyway, I'm now in 4 leagues and 2 of them are 20-team leagues. There's the two keeper leagues, one on Yahoo and one on ESPN, both 12 teamers and pretty fun managers.

Then there's the Wild Message Board league, which I didn't like much last year and didn't plan to do again, but like I said, the invite came and I couldn't say no. Will probably just auto-draft and maintain that one but not really worry about it much.

And the fourth and final is the league Bourne is starting up. I tried to resist. I didn't fire an email to Justin when he put the call out. But somehow I ended up saying, "Yes." Must be the universe wanting me to do it, right? Should be a fun one though, so I'm excited about it.

But that's all. I'm already starting to feel a little *urgh* in my tummy at how busy I'm going to be this season. Writing for PHN, T3I, IGM, Wild Nation, and this blog. Four FH teams. 80 Aeros games to watch (40 in person). 82 Wild games to watch. My own games to play. Oh yeah, and my JOB, which I just started a ginormous project that I'm a month behind on.

FACK!

I need an intern. I can't offer college credit but I do keep Dos Equis in the fridge and I do grow my own limes. I know I never got that good an offer when I was in college, so don't pass this up.

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I have a fantasy...

football team.

And I love them.

In fact, I can tell you with absolutely no uncertainty that I love them as much right now as I'll ever love them. Because once the season starts, it will be a long, torturous slide into gut wrenching disappointment.

Okay, maybe a little over-dramatic but really, it's true that if you really like the team you pick, that moment after the draft when you're basking in the dominant glow of Peyton Manning and Michael Turner is as good as it's ever going to get during the season.

So, I'm just gonna bask for a while. Here's my starting line-up, which will last well into... week 1.

QB	Peyton Manning
WR	Greg Jennings
WR	Kevin Walter
RB	Michael Turner
RB	Larry Johnson
TE	Antonio Gates
W/T	Laveranues Coles
K	Kris Brown
DEF	New England

Here's some inspiration for my team:

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More Quick Hits: I beg to differ; New fantasy toy; Sunshine Club!

Russo had a chat with Danny Irmen, who is up with the Wild right now (though is surely heading back to Houston tomorrow since the Wild are done until after the all star break). This stuck out to me:

The ex-Gophers player said he uses Cal Clutterbuck as inspiration. Clutterbuck cemented a full-time NHL job upon being promoted in October.

"We have so many other guys that play that style or a similar one," Irmen said. "It gives you hope and tells you to keep playing that way, because teams need players like that."

I don't disagree that teams need players like Cal, but I completely disagree that there are "so many other guys" similar to him. How many guys can be 3rd in the league in hits yet still put his defensive play and positioning a high enough priority to keep Lemaire happy, AND get some points on the board? Sorry, but I don't know many in the AHL and certainly not on the Aeros who could come close.

I guess I take issue with the implication that he's just an average grinder who worked hard and got some luck. I don't believe that's the case at all. I could go into the 20 reasons why but seriously, do I need to?

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Lucky for me, someone in my pal Buddha's ESPN hockey fantasy league couldn't take the heat in the kitchen, so he offered the team to me. They are at the bottom of the league. Way way way in the basement where the trolls live. But I've spent the evening dumping crap players, adding better ones, and generally being obnoxious. What fun!

Unfortunately, the former owner was one of the poor schmucks who got stuck with Gaborik. Ugh. So the team really has no superstars on it. Lots of second tier players, so there's really not much hope for big moves up, but it's fun to try.

And this is a roto keeper league, which I don't have going in any other league. I'll have to figure out what that means in terms of strategy. Only one keeper so I'll worry about that much later.

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Andrew, who wrote about whether the Aeros could make the playoffs the other day, apparently got some heat from some fans who don't appreciate his pessimistic and/or realistic take on the team's prospects. He calls hopeful Aeros fans... The Sunshine Club. (Oh, how vile!)

Anyway, he dug a little deeper and shared those findings. I'm not sure they really change much, but in any case, if you enjoy prediction talk, there you have the addendum to the original post.

I think it's pretty clear where my head is on making predictions, either game by game or for the season. I don't like to do it, I don't do it well, and really, I don't see the point. The game will be what the game will be. Same for the season. Drop the puck and surprise me, boys. That's why I love hockey. You never know what you're going to get.

Like, maybe, a chocolate llama.

So, here's my plan for the second half of the season. I'll even put it in a numbered list so it's easy to follow:

1. Go to Aeros games
2. Watch Aeros games (while hoping for the best)
   
3. Write about Aeros games
4. Repeat
5. See what happens

That's how us Type B bitches roll. It works for me.

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Fantasy Success!

You probably haven't noticed that I kinda quit talking about my fantasy hockey teams a few weeks ago, since nobody cares what anybody's fantasy team is doing other than their own... but I did put the kibosh on talking about it because, frankly, I can only say, "I lost in all three leagues again" so many times.

BUT! With the new year and the looming prospect of spending the second half of the season toiling in the basement upon me, I went to work tweaking my teams a bit. I even learned how to see what stats I'm doing the worst in. That's proactivity, my friends.

Anyway, either I just got lucky and was up against weak opponents this week or the tweaking helped, but I won handily in all three leagues! I've never even come close to doing that, and that's in spite of having Mike Smith in two leagues and him having a rather bad week.

Thanks to KiPA for the guidance on a couple of good moves. I think the theory of Darcy Tucker ruining my fantasy mojo was spot on. I dropped him for Roloson who beat the hell out of Dallas the other night (unfortunately, Turco was the other active goalie on that team... oh well).

This isn't safe for work but pretty much sums up my mood this morning:

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Super Bowl Bound!

I haven't reported on my fantasy teams lately because even I'm bored by the level of suckitude going on. Lost in all 3 of my hockey leagues this week. Suck!

However, I am delighted to report that I am going to the Super Bowl in my fantasy football league! Nearly everyone on my team overachieved by at least a little this week, though Vincent Jackson from San Diego doubled his projected points. Woot! Go Chargers!

I've looked at my opponent's roster for the big game this week and it is freaking stacked. I'd bet against me if I were you...

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Also, just a quick reminder to go vote for the boys in the AHL All Star Game balloting. I decided not to reveal my vote after all. Didn't seem right. But I will say that I gave some sway to guys who are likely in their last year here and have not been to an ASG and have been team leaders during their time here.

And I'll also say, my Canadian goalie was Brusty. I know. Knock you over with a feather. But Nolan went last year and Brust finished last year so strong and seems to have basically won the #1 job here to start the season. I like his chances. Plus, he seems to really hate being in the spotlight and I enjoy watching him squirm a bit. ;)

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Fantasy Hockey: Week 7

Le sigh.

Well, 1 out of 3 ain't THAT bad I guess, right? This was still kind of a disappointing week in fantasy land.

I really wanted to win my Wild Message Board match-up this week and I didn't even come close. It was 5-6 but his goalies didn't play enough for their stats to count, and knowing my goalies, I'm sure I would have lost those categories, too. I did, however, win the PIM, and if you can only win one category, I'm happy with it being PIM. I'm now sitting at 15 of 20 in that league, which is pretty bad. But I dumped Fedoruk for Boedker, so while my PIM will suck, maybe I'll get some better stats out of the guy.

I'm ranked 8 of 10 in the Wildbloggers league. Probably time to look at my roster and see if there's room for improvement. I lost 2-6 this week but might have tied if my goalies hadn't sucked. Damn goalies.

BUT in the Russoville league, I seem to have stumbled onto some luck and am all the way up at #2 after toiling in the basement for a couple of weeks early on. I'm pretty pleased with that. It was a close match-up in almost every category and could have gone either way, but I got the win 9-5. But there isn't much separating the teams so I could fall into the abyss again pretty easily.

I also won my football this week by just a couple of points, and upon looking at the rankings, I see I'm in third and I've clinched a playoff spot! Sweet. I didn't even know that. So... cool! Thank you, Drew Brees!

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Fantasy Hockey: Week 6

Things are looking up! I won two of my match-ups this week! And ironically, the team with my best goalie tandem is the one that's sinking like a rock.

In my Wildbloggers league, I got SPANKED (7-2). I did rock out the PIM though, so I think in the real world, we'd have just kicked the shit out of the other team and called it a day. I"m now third from the basement in this league. THAT'S worth booing. And how do you lose all 3 goalie categories with Miller and Osgood??? If they'd played better, I'd have won this match-up, too.

In my favorite Russoville league, I crushed (9-4) the same manager that spanked me in the Wildbloggers league. Kinda funny that we matched up in both leagues on the same week. I've moved up to #5 in Russoville Fantasy Hockey, which is a-ok by me. Sneaking up on you bastards at the top. Keep your head on a swivel, boys and girls!

In the Wild Message Board league, I moved up a few notches after beating angelina_e 8-2, but most of the categories were pretty close. Her goalies did her in. One of them is Jeff Deslauries, the goalie I was raving about earlier this week. Heh. I'd rather be wrong about him and win fantasy hockey, frankly. Sean Avery sucks this year, though. I may have to do a little LW shopping this week. (Update: I added Loui Eriksson and dropped Avery.)

ETA: I also won my fantasy football match-up this week in another squeaker. That's going pretty well, too. *knock on wood*

Okay, battery is going dead both on my laptop and in my body. Much more tomorrow as I wrap up the Aeros weekend, including the heartbreaker today.

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Fantasy Hockey: Week 5

If this keeps up, I'm going to have to make some Kipper and Turco voodoo dolls and do mean things to them. I guess I should just be grateful I didn't pick Brodeur or DiPietro and STFU, right?

Anyway, in the Wildbloggers league, I lost with gusto and dropped to 5th place. Even if I hadn't forgotten to set my roster for Sunday, I don't think it would have helped me any. I got wolloped.

In the Russoville league, Jokinen and Iginla prove to be a solid leadership team, in spite of my goalies being Turco and Biron. Lord have mercy. I beat Kevin this week and jumped from the lowly basement slot to #7. Woohoo!

The Wild Message Board league had me losing just as badly as in the Wildbloggers and dropped down to 17. Ouch. And this week I'm up against angelina_e, who is one formidable chica. Here's hoping she forgets to set her roster for a few days.

Gonna lose this week in football, too, unless Steve Breaston and the Cardinals defense pull off a helluva game tonight. Got 25 points to make up. ETA: Done! Amazing. Squeaked by with like half a point...

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Fantasy Hockey: Week 4

I lost a week in there somewhere but it suffices to say that I still suck and thank you Marty Suckin' Turco for that. Oh yeah, and the rest of you goalies except Millsy.

Actually, I'm #4 in the Wildbloggers league, which is pretty good. Though I think I was up against someone this week who has abandoned his team.

I'm in the basement in the Russoville league, even though I won my match-up this week. But our Commish does a great write-up each week, and being in the bottom assures me of getting a mention. And really, negative attention is still attention. Thanks Kev. I'm sure someone, somewhere is sanding down that wooden spoon for me...

And finally, in my Wild Message Board league, I'm about where a D would be on the grading scale (not a defenseman, but the letter grade). Not falling off the bottom but certainly at the bottom of the middle of the pack. I lost by one point last week and I'm already losing every category this week. Yay. Go team.

Amazingly, in my Russoville Fantasy Football league, one team has yet to lose a week. I'm pretty sure Lemmi sold his soul to the Miro Satan or something...

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6 Things I Need to Say (but don't deserve their own posts)

1. High in the 60s tomorrow!!! WOOO! I may go sit on the deck and wait for the front to blow in. Then come in and pull out all my 3/4 length-sleeved winter clothes! And my warm flip flops! Huzzah! Cool weather is HERE (well, almost... in about a week, it appears to be here to stay). This is a very happy time for us sweaty Texans, doncha know.
   
2. Wild FINALLY play tomorrow night. It's been too long since one of my teams played, though watching the archives of Sunday's Aeros game on AHL Live took the sting out of it. But I can tell you, Wild fans get restless with this long between games, especially with the Gaby extension controversy erupting. Looks like Zidlicky and Sir Spin-o-rama will be back in the line-up, so two will sit. I'm guessing Reitz and Boogaard. Or maybe Mojzis. Shouldn't his 30 days since clearing waivers be approaching pretty rapidly? I'd like to get a look at him down here. (Oh, he was waived on the 29th last month, so he's got a few days before they have to send him down or officially call him up... or however that works).
   
3. Aeros play Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I'll be out on a voting date Friday night with my equally liberal friend who I always go and vote early with, so just in case we get hit by a bus over the weekend, our lonely little liberal votes will be counted. Then they're back at home Tuesday. Not much of a break for the boys after a tough 3-in-3, but everyone knew going in that this schedule was going to be a ball buster. So it begins...
   
4. My fantasy teams should have come with cyanide capsules.
5. Check out this story about a letter Aaron "No really, my ass is as spectacular as advertised" Voros wrote to Jacques Lemaire thanking him for everything he learned from JL and Co. last season.
6. Cal Clutterbuck. Just because.

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Aeros v. San Antonio Rampage - Game 3

Okay, finally adding some notes from this raucous game. You remember that thing they used on Men In Black that zaps you so you don't remember what you just saw? I think this game, for me, kinda "zapped" last season for me. It's hard to believe we were even in the same building watching the same team. Last year's Aeros were doing well to get 8 goals in 3 games.

Of course, you don't want to get too excited too early. The players and coaches are all saying the right stuff: There are still problems on defense and the PK that need lots of work. But come on, you gotta know these crazy wins are putting a little extra pep in their step, right?

For starters, I was right about them plugging Lammers into the Rosa/Olvecky line where Kolanos had been. That line earned the first goal of the evening on a picture-perfect wrap-around goal from Rosa. Olvecky got the fourth goal of the game with Irmen (and Rogers) assisting, so I'm guessing that line got switched up a bit as the game went on, though I wasn't paying all that close attention to line combinations at that point.

I want to give new guy (call up from the CHL's Texas Brahmas) Jason Deitsch some props: Not only did he get a goal but he set the goal up himself with some really smart anticipation in the Aeros defensive zone that led to a turnover allowing him to bring the puck down and score a really pretty goal. I don't know much about the guy but that whole play was pretty impressive.

I spent the first two periods trying to figure out what's so great about Corey Locke. Apparently, Corey Locke figured it out before I did and put together 4 points in the final period, basically making me feel like an ass for questioning him. I'm okay with that. I feel like an ass a lot anyway, so if it gets the Aeros a win, it's something I'll live with. He DOES get shoved around a lot though, being so small. It seems he's pretty durable.

San Antonio's second goal was not a goal. From where I sat, it looked like a slow whistle after Barry had it, but Fred's photos tell the tale. Oh well. Shit happens. Tough for Barry though. I wonder how that game might have changed if that hadn't been ruled a goal and Barry hadn't been pulled eight and a half minutes in.

That's about it. The other guys covered the rest of it. No sense in repeating them.

John Royal - Houston Press
John Royal's Blog
Houston Chronicle article
Andrew Ferraro's Blog

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The Aeros new offense had a coming out party tonight. If there was any doubt this is a new team across the board, this game should put those doubts to rest. Even without Kolanos, who's been playing with the golden stick thus far, the team found the back of the net over and over and over, ultimately tying the team record for goals scored (8).

Of course, the flip side of that was San Antonio's 6 goals, an uncharacteristically high GAA for this defensive-minded team and source of obvious discomfort for Coach Kevin Constantine.

I had the excitement of getting to interview (nervously) KC and assistant coach and assistant GM Troy Ward after the game, so I'll put some of that up later when I get my notes transcribed. I dunno how these guys with nightly deadlines do it. Kudos. Plus, there was SO MUCH that happened in this game, I just don't have the energy to put it all down tonight, so watch for this post to get edited tomorrow.

The only thing left to say tonight is... it's official. Being a goalie on my fantasy hockey team is grim death. My sincerest apologies to Biron, Turco, Smitty, Osgood, and Kipper. Somehow the stank hasn't reached Buffalo yet, so Miller is safe for now. You're welcome, Crunchy.

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Fantasy Hockey Week 2

SUUUUUUCK.

Got crushed in Football, mostly crushed in two of my hockey leagues, and a tie in the other hockey league.

Like the stock market, these are bad times but I'm just gonna ride it out and have faith in these players I've selected. I still believe in them.

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Yahtzee!

My request to drop Bernier and add Mikko to my Wildbloggers team went through!

Mikko contains his excitement, but you can tell he's totally stoked and ready to get some goals for me.

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Fantasy Hockey Week 1

Okay, so my first week of fantasy hockey indicates that I may have brought forth a plague of doom upon the players on my teams. My goalies, except the one I was most worried about (Smitty in Tampa), all suck beyond comprehension. Avery is useless for anything but PIM, Iginla is invisible, on and on.

The only unaffected team seems to be the New York Rangers where Wade Redden and Michal Rozsival have played well. But I think maybe they're just slow to comply in the Big Apple. Give it a week, especially now that I have Zherdev on my newest team.

Anyway, my best result was in the Wild Message Board league, where we tied 5-5 (someone remind me that if I ever set up a fantasy team, there should be an odd number of stats used in scoring so that ties aren't possible). In the Russoville league, I got smoked big time, 11-2. I mean, I got crushed like an innocent grape rolling around on the freeway.

Blessedly, the third league doesn't start until this week so I have a few days to steel myself for total humiliation next Monday morning. My apolgies in advance Buffalo and Detroit fans for having your goalies. The only hope is that my curse is somehow transfered in the picking and not in the owning, in which case the Wildbloggers team should be right as rain.

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Fantasy Hockey: Wildbloggers

This is a 10 team league of Wild bloggers, as the name suggests. Some overlap with the Russoville gang but this time I finally let it autodraft for me and I'm pretty happy with the results, at least of the ones where I know anything about the players. Some I'm totally unfamiliar with.

1.	(7)	Jarome Iginla	RW
2.	(14)	Pavel Datsyuk	C
3.	(27)	Olli Jokinen	C
4.	(34)	Chris Osgood	G
5.	(47)	Ryan Miller	G
6.	(54)	Alexander Frolov	LW
7.	(67)	Nikolai Zherdev	RW
8.	(74)	Michael Cammalleri	LW
9.	(87)	Ed Jovanovski	D
10.	(94)	Niklas Kronwall	D
11.	(107)	Alex Goligoski	D
12.	(114)	Pavel Kubina	D
13.	(127)	Patrick Marleau	C
14.	(134)	Jason Blake	LW
15.	(147)	Martin Havlat	RW
16.	(154)	Jonathan Bernier	G

Obviously, Bernier is getting dropped as he's been sent down to the AHL. I've already put my add/drop request in but it won't take effect until Thursday and will work based on waiver order, which I should be third or fourth, so fingers crossed. In a league this small, there are some darn good players left on the roster. Maybe not fantasy studs, but guys who are worthy to come off the pine occasionally.

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