Monday, January 9, 2012

Up for air, finally

I drive home from hockey each night I play, thinking, "Oooh! I should write about this (or that) (or the other thing) in my blog!"

And then I realize, no, I don't have time. I have to get my Wednesday story at Hockey Wilderness done. I have to get my Sunday story at Backhand Shelf started. I have to get interview notes ready for my InGoal magazine pieces on Matt Hackett and Bob Mason.

And by the end of even thinking about all that, I'm too tired to consider writing for "fun" (though, I'm not gonna lie, they're all pretty fun... just less self-indulgent).

But the InGoal stories have been turned in (2 days early, which is more scary than a relief... what have I missed?) and I'm allowing myself a day to catch my breath from having finished that before I start the other two.

Considering it was, like, November when I last posted, I should probably be ashamed, but in that time, I've had a huge work deadline, accepted an offer on our house that was then reneged on at the last second by the buyer, done all the repairs from their inspection anyway, found another buyer, dealt with her insane agent for a couple of weeks, made the repairs THEY wanted, and finally closed on that house.

Oh yeah, and did that Christmas thing. I've never been more grateful that my family does just little stocking stuffer type gifts. I got my shopping done in about 3 hours at Target and Walgreens, or online.

So really, today is the first day I'm coming up for air and don't have anything but the usual suspects weighing on me. Naturally, the dog picks today to need to go out at 4:30 in the morning, but that gives me a spot of time to write here, so it's okay.

My hockey playing was pretty light in December, not only because my Monday group only played the first two weeks, but because I threw my back out the first weekend of the month and it was so bad, I missed two weeks of women's league because of it.

But I played well in my return to my full-time playing schedule (Monday and Tuesday nights) last week. So well, in fact, that I'm still a little annoyed that one of my defensemen who isn't used to playing with goalies of my "caliber" (aka make so few awesome glove saves that I stop and cele all of them) and he didn't properly acknowledge how cool my saves were.

The image of his "yeah yeah, just give me the puck, numbnuts" demeanor when I... get this... stopped a shot off my blocker and caught it in my glove (!!!!) is burned in my brain. How dare you be so blase? This might have been a one in a lifetime save!

I really think if I only played a couple of times a month, I'd be a much better goalie. I'm just too mellow to work up the "GRR" I need on a twice weekly basis consistently. And I refuse to play angry any more. It's just hockey.

I have a women's league teammate who really cares about the result, and kinda unloads on our team or gets her panties in a bunch if the skaters aren't playing their positions up to her standards. And we all just sit there, kinda stunned at her attitude.

Sure, it's awesome to win, but women's league is such a social affair. I think 99% of the girls feel like, if you had fun, burned calories, and did your best, then it was a great night at women's league. Pretty much in that order, too. As I say, if you're not smiling your way through women's league, you're doing it wrong.

Hell, if you're not smiling your way through any kind of rec hockey, you (or someone around you being a douchebag) is doing it wrong. So much other shit in our lives is serious and responsible and "required" and if hockey isn't an outlet to just ride a wave of pure fun and adrenaline for an hour of your week, then I don't know what the point is.

Oh well. There's one in every crowd, I guess.

This week, I'm off Monday because I have no skates. Tomorrow I'll get them back at women's league for our last regular season game. I have no idea where we are in the standings but it can't be all that great. Apart from the 4-shot shutout, I'd done nothing but lose (though I've missed 3 games) until last week when I had a really legit win. Lots of shots and pulling saves out of my ass. First game I really enjoyed this season, honestly.

But I went ahead and signed up for Harpies Wednesday night since Mr. C is out of town. Now that I have actual TIME in my life again and am not running ragged, I'm excited to get to skate that again.

So, I'm not sure of the deets yet but it sounds like my payment for writing the InGoal magazine piece is a mask paint job from one of our advertisers. I'm pretty settled on some kind of blind squirrel theme.

Like this but with a goalie stick instead of a cane and an outstretched glove with a puck in it instead of a nut. Of course, how to execute that on a 3 dimensional mask is a whole other ball of wax.

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Here's a funny nugget: My BS pieces are pretty much just me being me on whatever hockey topic tickles my fancy, and generally I get good feedback.

But I got my first hater yesterday. And on a piece that was about as serious as I ever plan to get. Everything about the comment is so, like, "I'm doing you a favor by telling you what a fucking idiot you are."
Every Sunday I try to read the articles you post, and every Sunday I never get through it. Most times I would rather scoop my eyes out with a spoon than finish reading the drivel and diatribe you write. Although your heart may be in the right place and the topics you choose may be worthy of being written about, your style is revolting. Good on ya for getting an audience, but I want you to know, I am not part of it.
It's just so earnest! It's not like, "Eh, this is shit. Fuck off with your puck bunny garbage." It's like, "I want to like you because I like the rest of the site, but oh my god, I just DON'T SO SO SO MUCH! PLEASE STOP BEING... YOU.. or I'll be forced to ... NOT READ YOU!"

Your heart's in the right place? Is that supposed to make the whole "revolting" and "rather scoop my eyes out with a spoon" thing better?

Just hilariously out of whack.

There are writers (even Backhand Shelfers!) whose writing I just don't get or get into at all, but obviously someone does or they wouldn't keep getting hired. So I just don't read them. In fact, the act of NOT reading someone is infinitely easier than reading them, so it's actually kind of a relief when I can just say, "Nah, never read that guy" and move on happily with my life to writers I DO like. There are already more of those than I can keep up with.

I like to be liked so I won't lie that it doesn't annoy me, but blessedly, I have a lot of people who seem to genuinely like what I do, so I have to trust that they're not just humoring me. If they are, then I hope Bourney will sack my ass and put everyone out of their misery.

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And on that delightful note, welcome to Monday, suckah!



I've had this song in my head for a week. It makes me want to scoop my ears out with a spoon!!!! Just kidding. I actually like it. But talk about earnest. Gosh. Emo much?

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