Sex and Hockey

Soooo, you mention sex and hockey and you get my attention. An interview with Ovie was released in which he said that sex before and after hockey is beneficial to his game.

You can watch the interview here, in which both the interviewer and interviewee seem to be bored out of their minds. I know Russians can and do laugh because I've seen it, but I'm starting to think it's about as rare as unicorns. Maybe this interview needed more vodka. Or less? Anyway...

In hearing this, I wondered if I've been neglecting some important part of game preparation and recovery. My game day routine is more like:

1. Big breakfast to get some food in me before I'm too nervous to eat.
2. Maybe a movie or something to kill time, distract me, and stave off the butterflies for a few hours.
3. Good lunch, though the butterflies are starting, so I want something bland and carby.
4. Maybe a nap if I'm not well-rested or the game is really late.
5. A snack if I can figure something out that doesn't make me want to hurl.
   
6. A couple of hours of wondering why the hell I'm doing this, who do I think I am, then reminding myself that at least I'm more fun to have in net than a cone or shooter tutor, and then getting angry because how dare they expect me to be all that good yet? Fuckers. Screw you. I'll show you! Bring it, bitches!!!
7. Then I change clothes and load the car and head to the rink all the while breathing through waves of anxiety and thinking about what areas of my game I want to really concentrate on. Like, if everything else goes to shit, maybe at least I can do this one thing right.
   

And I don't see anywhere in there where I'm wanting to have sex. Tried a little self-help once and that actually had the reverse effect and I felt and played worse than usual. Which is really saying something.

I will say, I do want hugs (but just hugs, because I'm tired and smelly) after I play. I muster up all my "GRRRRR, I'm a tough bitch" mojo to play and by the end of it, I just want a soft spot to land. Mr. C does a good job of this, asking me how it went and being sympathetic if I'm feeling bad about it, and being happy for me if it went well. That's all I want. I'll do my own analysis later, but for now, just allow me to have my guard down and be fragile for a while.

So, Ovie's on his own with that sex stuff. Well, I very much doubt he's on his own, but anyway...

Meanwhile, over at the increasingly aggravating Wild Message Board, someone started a thread about this and honest to God, the thread is now 3 pages long and there are maybe 5 comments related to the actual subject matter.

And it's not like it's an uninteresting subject. Sex. And. Hockey.

For the love of god, people, you have a legit chance to marry these fabulous subjects without getting banned by the moderator, and you turn it into an argument about who's the better player, who's the classiest player, etc.

Honestly, this board will argue about ANYTHING, even forsaking a much more interesting and titillating conversation to do so. I do not understand these people. The only worthwhile comment in three pages of posts was, "20 bucks says he porked the reporter." Everybody wins!

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