What's with the goalie love? Justin wants to know...

Always funny and insightful blogger, Justin Bourne, takes on Goalies today. He wants to know: Why do fans love them to a disproportionate degree over other position players? Why on earth would anybody BE one? Are they all nuttier than a bag full of rabid squirrels?

I have kind of a crazy theory on why chicks, at least, like goalies so much: It's a primal thing. Goalies protect the "nest." Everything about goalies says, "This is a man who will sacrifice and suffer, who will carry the burden on his shoulders and thrive under the pressure of responsibility. This is a man I can make babies with."

I'm not saying that's a literal thought process, hence the "primal"... but I think there's something to it. Plus, they're kinda mysterious with all that gear and rumors of wacky instability. Chicks dig a project, even if it's just figuring a guy out.

----------------------

I love to hear how goalies became goalies, but it always seems like guys are a little hesitant to answer. I've always thought it was because they've answered it a million times and are sick of the question, but clearly people want to know, because it does seem like a rather illogical thing to do. Especially to decide on it as a kid.

But then I thought maybe they're like me and really the answer is, "I just did." Simple as that. I just realized one day, I have to be a goalie. I don't know that I've ever felt so strongly about something in my life; like my internal compass just points Goalie.

For the longest time, I couldn't fathom why anybody *wouldn't* want to be a goalie. I would sit on the bench when I was first playing as a winger and swallow the jealous pangs I was feeling watching the goalies make saves. I wanted to be out there doing that so bad I could taste it.

Now? Well, now I get not wanting to be a goalie. The highs are WAY higher but the lows are literally breathtakingly low at times. I think at any other position, it's a little more of an even ride, especially as you're learning. I never spent Monday crying over skating out. I also never drove home singing at the top of my lungs skating out.

Sunday nights are sort of like Fight Club for me. It's where I get to see what I'm made of, and no matter what happens, I've at least scraped the doldrums of responsible adulthood off myself for a few days. I get to scream and cheer and battle and feel victorious, shitty, loved, and lonely all in that 90 minutes of ice. And if I don't leave the rink with something hurting, then I'm a little let down. Shoot, boys, and shoot hard. I want to feel it.

------------------------

And you know, they say goalies are crazy, yet I'm the most mental one I know. Most are smart and level-headed, at least at the amateur level. Can't speak to the pros all that much, though I can't even imagine how those guys handle the pressure, and I can certainly see where on days where they play, there would be a rigorous routine to ensure the proper state of mind come game time.

They've all been super nice, too. Especially among each other. Generous with time and patience and advice, always. Goalies are good people who have a really difficult job to do, so sometimes they have employ weird measures to get it done right.

Anyway, Justin had questions:

Is it the pretty gear, guys?
That part is nice. Though it sucks as an amateur because it's so MFing expensive. But we do look kinda badass. Except for the ones with bad taste in gear. Talking to you, Drew MacIntyre.

The fact that the position is utterly devoid of skating?
I love to skate, but I have a personal space bubble that I really don't like others in. I hated that part of playing out. As a goalie, I have my own space bubble on the ice that players are wise to steer clear of. As I've mentioned, I don't take to tight screens too well.

The glory of the glove save?
Absofuckinlutely.

Haven’t you whack-jobs ever scored a goal? Don’t you have any idea how good that feels?
Yep. Just the one though. And while I was delighted to finally get a goal, my primary mental picture looking back is of Scott slumped on his knees after it was called a goal and feeling badly for making the goalie sad. Man, I hate a sad goalie more than anything. Sad shooter? Who gives a shit? Shooters get plenty of chances to try again.

What did your parents do to you?
Well, I'm an only-child, which explains an awful lot.

Are you non-goalies out there aware of how hard a frozen hockey puck is? And I can shoot one 80 miles an hour. Which end of that do you wanna be on?
I wanna be the one saying NO! You spent years learning to shoot a puck that hard and I just negated all that work by simply being in the way. Better luck next time.

Brusty says no. Photo by Fred Trask

Goalies: Spend half the game alone. No chance to be the hero of the moment, only consistency bring accolades. 50% odds of being the goat.

• What's wrong with being alone? You have the best seat on the ice to watch hockey. Not a thing wrong with that.
  
• Hero moment? Oh, I got your hero moment, hot shot.
• The goat thing is totally true though.

But you know why it's SO awesome to score a goal? Because there was a goalie trying to stop you. :)