Vapor Lock

I gotta tell ya. I was so bad tonight, I don't even know what to write. I think I let in about 37 goals. I probably gave a few of my defensemen some kind of disease from being in my proximity all night.

I was kinda waiting for my internal organs to start shutting down one by one out of sheer humiliation. Honestly, there was a point in the third period where I thought, "If I'd been sitting on the bench for the last 10 minutes, the score would be exactly what it is right now." Actually, that's not true. My defensemen probably would have stopped a few of those.

I just couldn't do anything right. I was getting brutalized 5-hole most of the night. Usually I expect a couple of drinks out of the deal if I'm gonna get that kinda action. My timing was horrific, my stick had some kind of allergy to the ice.

My energy actually felt really good, I was just off angle and out of position all night.

You know what it is... I'm thinking too much again about the wrong stuff. When I just go out there and make my #1 objective to be square to the puck and let the rest kinda handle itself, then I do pretty well. I'm scatterbrained and even though I felt sharp mentally, I was sharp in the wrong places.

Plus, 5-hole. WTF? I'm usually pretty decent there!

*sigh*

Fuck.

First time in 9 months that I really almost started crying in goal. I mean, really. What a girl.

ANYWAY...

I did make a sweet glove save. About lost my mind though he was probably being nice and shot it at my glove... but even then, that doesn't guarantee anything with me, so I'll take it. My new glove isn't naturally pancaked closed like my old one was. Plus it's WAY lighter, so it's easier to keep up and open.

Doesn't redeem the night at all, but at least it gives me one nice thing to say about the evening. Other than a few of my teammates and Scott were decent to me about it. Man, I'm tired of letting them down though. That's the worst of it, you know? They work so hard and it's really just their crappy goalie putting them in the L column every week lately.

And that's really what has me frustrated. I feel like I'm more knowledgeable and stronger than ever and yet, I'm getting worse. What the fuck do I have to do to see some meaningful improvement?

OMG, I am the Texans.

Anyway, I tried tightening that skate strap down on my pads, but I was still banging my knee all night on the ice. Next week I'll try the v-ball knee pads (wanted to give the tight strap a chance to work).

In honor of my active 5-hole tonight:


OH! And thanks to Sheala and Janelle for coming out to watch some of the game. Man, I'm usually a little better than I was tonight, so sorry for the bad show, but I appreciate you gorgeous gals coming out and cheering the odd save that I actually managed to make. Love y'all. :)