Monday, November 23, 2009

Bound but determined

So, I guess I'm a little blocked up, writer-wise, at the moment. Couldn't even blog my game last night and I don't think that's ever happened.

I think part of that is just feeling like a broken record lately. Played well... EXCEPT FOR... those 6 goals, 3 of which were completely retarded. Sound familiar? I'm tired of myself. I still love playing, but I'm tired of the constant self-flagellation after the fact. Or the Pollyanna, stiff-upper-lip, "oh, just have fun" routine when I'm not beating myself up. Or the whining about my feelings. Fucking goddamn feelings.

So, until something interesting happens, maybe I'm done blogging my games. I reserve the right to change my mind. I did actually write a whole big post last night. Then deleted it and wrote a shorter one basically saying, "Meh," and then thought, "Why even bother?" And went to bed.


I'm PMSing. Totally.


Back to feelings... my heart is heavy for my teams and my precious goalies who are playing for foster teams.

The Aeros certainly have the offensive talent to score more than they are, but just can't convert on the many plum chances they get. I'm afraid they're not far from sinking into the quicksand if they don't start getting rewarded for the hard work they're putting in defensively and in goal. How long can you sustain such a hard effort without a little payoff every now and then?

Khudobin has been fantastic, and apparently even Dubielewicz was excellent in his relief of Anton on Friday night.

But that continues to leave Brusty stuck in Florida, which makes me immeasurably sad. Would that I could knock Dubie out, take him to Florida, leave him on the doorstep of the Germain Arena and bring Brusty back with me--assuming such behavior wasn't both insane and criminal--that would be perfection. Alas, I'm neither (that) insane nor (that) criminal.

And my other goalie, Brett Jaeger with the Texas Brahmas, is having a craptastic season as well. The rookie goalie who was assigned to the team by the Blackhawks organization is showing him up big time and he's just stru-ggl-ing. What do you say in that situation? Or to any beloved goalie who's having a rough go? Everything seems so trite.

I've got your back. I believe in you. Come on, hockey gods. Throw my boys a bone.

So, these things are weighing on me, making me a little melancholy. And worse, Mr.C is in a mood to clean closets, which is one of my most least favorite things to do ever. Closets have doors for a reason. Just close them and have fun with your life. We'll clean 'em out next time we move. AmIright?

Which means I'm being grumpy at him, too, which makes me feel bad after the fact. But doesn't seem to change the fact that I want to put my thumb in his eye in the heat of the moment. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Notice I'm not even mentioning the Wild. I can't even contemplate what a sad state that bunch is in. Makes everything else look like sunshine and kitten toes.

Alright. Enough of this drama queen bullshit. Sorry. It happens from time to time. Still love me?


Nick  November 23, 2009 at 4:07 PM  

I gotta say I was bummed to see no new posts on your blog this morning when I made my website rounds today of hitting up,,, and Hope you get out of your funk soon, enjoy the holiday week, and feel the love from Denver, CO! ;-)

Ms. Conduct  November 23, 2009 at 4:22 PM  

I appreciate the love, Nick. And knowing that someone gets something out of my endless narcissism. :) Might try to do a "end of week wrapup" or something like that. Try and look bigger picture at my game rather than game by game. I dunno. Maybe I'm just being a pouty baby and will get over it. :)

I think a lot of it is that there's a lot I want to say, but it's unsportsmanlike and excusey, so I don't want to be a doosh. But I also don't like to write unless I can just let it all hang out and be really brutally honest. And I don't feel like I can do that, so rather than dance around stuff, it's like, "fuck it. I'm just not gonna say anything."

Anyway, happy holidays to you, too. Lots of puck stoppage if you're playing!

CatTrick  November 23, 2009 at 4:57 PM  

Here's hoping that cute little stick figure Goalie Angel drops lots of glittering goalie dust on you. Yup ... we still love 'ya!!!

Ms. Conduct  November 23, 2009 at 6:29 PM  

Yeah, the Goalie Angel needs to spread her magic dust lots of places right now, huh? Thanks for the luv. :)

Nicky  November 24, 2009 at 2:43 AM  

Trust me Ms.C. - I read you. In fact, you;re my goalie lifeline the last 2 weeks. I gots a great case of H1N1 that has lasted 16 days and it's damn hard to play when you are coughing your lungs up. At least I feel like I am playing vicariously through you.

Ms. Conduct  November 24, 2009 at 9:39 AM  

Oh Nicky! I'm so sorry. Bless your heart! I hope you're feeling better. I'm surprised, with all the hockey people I know and how germs get around, that I don't know more people who've gotten it.

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