Sweet Disposition

Kinda weird night at novice tonight. I didn't see a shot for the first 10 minutes, and then I let the first two in. Once I started to see more rubber, I started to get into it more, but it's always a little bit of a mindfuck playing against Scott TFCG, who was in net for Jessica tonight.

I want to play well and I want him to see that I'm doing well, which means I'm putting unusual importance on the game and that takes me out of my zone a bit.

I knew that mental challenge was going to be there and I'm not sure I got a handle on it like I wanted, but I guess awareness counts for something.

My team ended up winning but I saw so few shots and he saw so many, his GAA would send mine to bed crying and without dinner. It was really lopsided and he played great. Made some sick pad saves on passes in close. "Wow" stuff. Nice job, Scotty.

I had some good saves, too, but one goal really bothered me because it was a straight up mental lapse and that's something I've been working hard at lately with a good bit of success.

It was a 2 on 0 breakaway and I'll just walk you through the mistakes I made:

1. I saw the breakaway form and every green sweater behind them and thought, "Well fuck. Someone skate!" when I should have thought, "Okay, what are the risks here?" and figured out my plan of attack.
   
2. Mikey had the puck and was bearing down hard and I really really really wanted to stop him because he's so good and I'd love to just slam the door closed. But, I focused so hard on Mikey that Jessica, who was streaking in at center, was a mere speck on the radar. She said after, "You should have seen that coming!" Indeed, I should have, but I lost my focus on the big picture, went exclusively after Mikey, and all he had to do was wait for me to commit and he passed to her. Easiest goal ever.
3. I gave up on the play. I should have flung myself across and at least tried to get my stick or something in front of Jessica's shot.
   
4. I got mad. I whacked the cross bar. I screamed FUCK! Can't tell you the last time I got really mad about a goal. I guess it happens from time to time. I really wanted that one and ended up looking stupid, so I guess that just didn't sit well.
   

It wasn't that I didn't make the stop, because 2 on 0 is a tough proposition even for the best goalies, but the fact that I played it so poorly and didn't give myself a chance really sticks in my craw.

Oh well. Learn and forget about it.

Looks like I won't have Monday hockey again until the 25th, unless something comes up. I think that's good because my knee hurts so bad tonight. Definitely calling the chiropractor tomorrow and getting adjusted as soon as I can. I feel so out of whack and I know that's part of the problem. Not playing 3 in 3 will help.

Cripes. I'm so hungry, I'm contemplating getting dressed and going out to get some food. Don't have much in the house. But that would mean going up and down the stairs on my aching knee. Need to go down and take some Advil anyway.

I try not to be mouthy at Novice because... well, I just try not to... but something about goal shuts off that filter between mouth and brain, which is already getting sievier and sievier as I get older anyway and quit giving a fuck what anyone thinks about me. This song seems appropriate: