No drama, lots of shots

Decidedly less drama tonight at women's league, which I was grateful for, to be honest. Though I do think the incident last week finally kind of gelled the team, and gave us a solid "us against them" mentality that's scrappy and fun to be around.

It took me a while, but I adore this team. A great mix of personalities, but overall, everyone is lively and funny and fierce. It's all about tone at the top though, and our captain sets it well. I love playing for and with her, and I love being in her locker room.

It's so nice to be in love with the game again. And I look back over the year and look at where I went off the tracks and the only thing I can really pin down is when goalie clinics started up at the beginning of the summer, through Camp Brusty.


My uncoachability is well documented, but to me, this just cements it. Coaching suffocates my game. Not because it's poor quality coaching but because it buries my instincts, which are decent but they're a bit fragile, for lack of a better word. It doesn't take much to undermine my confidence in a way that takes me a long time to get it back.


When I'm going through periods where I'm being coached or critiqued, whoooooooosh, it all goes out the window. All I hear are voices in my head. All I see are goalies who are light years better than me. All I feel is my confidence, however undeserved, draining out the vent holes in my skates.


So, no more thinking. No more coaching. Stop the next puck.


That said, we lost again tonight, 4-2. But I got hammered. 34 shots in a 39 minute game. I did math (okay, I'm lying, I found a web site that did the math for me) and it would have been roughly 52 shots in a regular 60 minute game.


Letting in 4 on 34 doesn't feel too awful to me. Two were screens, one I literally have no idea how it went in, and the other was a terrible goal. Soft shot, didn't have my stick on the ice, and just wasn't set for the shot. Went right through me. Awful.


But it's a game I can't feel badly about at all. I worked hard and so did my girls, so we deemed it a moral victory. :)


That's it for me this week, hockey-wise. After working hard at the new house all the long weekend, things are very light on that front until next week when a bunch of shit happens bang bang bang. New windows installed Tuesday (YAY!), phone/internet going in on Wednesday, and DTV on Thursday. Phew! Very excited and it's really starting to feel like ours.

Now if someone would please just buy our current house, that would be super terrific.

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STOP THE NEXT PUCK

So, I'm not gonna lie. I've been in the dumps about my game lately. Like, as way down in the dumps as I've ever been. I've dreaded coming to the rink. I've had to lie to myself that hockey is fun. I was to the point of wondering what's next for me and how much could I get for selling my pads.

Of course, every time I think about that, I eventually get to, "Well, you still have to get exercise, so you'll have to ... Zumba or some shit. And that will make you want to throw yourself in front of a bus. So you might as well man up and keep playing hockey even though you suck."

But occasionally the hockey gods throw a girl a bone and let my body do what I want it to do on the ice. And that results in a good game. Tonight, the good game, combined with good games all around by my teammates, who are rock stars, resulted in my second ever shutout.

I love that word: shutout. Shutout. Shutoutshutoutshutoutshutoutttttttttttt..... 

You don't even know (unless you've struggled in net for months on end like I have lately) how much I needed that. I'll stop well short of saying I got my mojo back, but at the very least, it gives me a little hope that maybe I'm okay out there. Maybe I'm not a complete joke like I've been feeling I am. Occasionally, I can git 'er done, even with my meager capabilities.

Also, a "I don't really mean it, but yeah, I kinda do" middle finger at the score keeper for being extremely stingy with the shot count at both ends, but perhaps he was too busy tallying penalty minutes to see all the pucks I kept out of the net?

Because, yeah buddy, did the minutes ever rack up tonight, culminating in some nastiness that's going to leave a bad taste in a lot of mouths for a long time.

I should explain, for the boys, that women's league isn't like your league. You know how your wife brings up "that thing" you fucked up 10 years ago, when you've LONG since moved on? Yeah, that happens in women's league, too.

Bitches Hold Grudges.

Yeah, I know I'm painting in wide brush strokes here but I see it again and again. Something that happened  between two women players 7 years ago still affects how players deal with each other today. That's just how it is.

Hell, I do it, too. I've been harassing one guy I played with all of twice for over-celebrating after scoring on me nearly a year and a half ago. I'll never forget it.

That said, generally women's league is chummy and full of laughter and opposing teammates hugging it out after mild indiscretions.

But tonight, things got a little beyond mild indiscretion. It was far and away the most drama I've ever seen in this league, so I'm guaranteeing that it will linger in the history of the league way longer than it should.

So, we have this gal, M, who is VERY good. Teenager, but tall, strong, and did I mention, VERY good.

She pisses off the other teams with her skill, and even though she tones it way down for women's league, occasionally she takes off, dances through the entire opposing team, and puts one on the net and nobody in this league really has an answer for her. So, more often than not, it goes in. Some people find that to be unsporting in this league.

But I've been shown up enough to know that EVERY team is okay with it if the girl is on THEIR team. So I call bullshit on that. There's a 3 goal limit per person for a reason. Bring it on.

Anyway, we're early in the third period and M and some opposing girl got a little tangled up (why anybody would tangle with M is pretty amazing to me... credit to the girl for her stones).

I guess opposing girl didn't like what went down and (this is the point where I notice the two of them to the right of my net) mouthed off in M's face, somewhat aggressively.

And M cross-checked her right in the grill. 

DOH!

Did I mention M is a strong motherfucker? Yeah. Pushed the chin of her cage into her throat, which of course, had people thinking M cross checked her in the throat. She didn't. She clearly hit cage from my perspective.

She went down in a heap and the ref (who, if I'm understanding this correctly, is the girl's husband) threw M out of the game and gave us a 5 min major.

I gotta admit a few things:

1. I suck at injury stuff. Medical trauma makes me light headed and sick. And to see somebody quite injured right next to my net? Yeah, I had to go for a skate at center ice. The other goalie and I had a chat while they attended to the girl, and considered throwing down the gloves just for fun, since we were already at center ice together and now our teams had a "beef."
2. I was rattled when the puck was ready to drop again. The longer I went in the game with no goals against, the more I kept having to shut out the "shutout" mental talk and just say, "STOP THE NEXT PUCK" over and over. Well, that kicked into overdrive when play resumed because I was still feeling out of sorts both due to the ill will that had just instantly bloomed during our friendly game. Also, because I felt like this team was PISSED and would throw sportsmanship out the window and just come at me like angry honeybadgers. 

But my girls, who had really gelled so nicely all game, seemed even more fierce and just played their ladyballs off, kept chances to the outside (I can't begin to express how important this is), and helped me keep the shutout until the buzzer. (I was extra proud of Caren for playing D very nicely, and probably for the first time, during the penalty kill!)

And there it was: BZZZZZZ. One of my defensemen turned around and darted over to me and hugged me and I'm all "YEAH! WOOO!" because, like, that's how I felt. :) YEAH!!! WOOOO!!!!

I fucking love being the winning goalie. It's been way too long since I had a piece of that pie. It is still delicious.

So, I guess I won't take up knitting or skydiving or whatever just yet.

Meanwhile, M is suspended next week, which sucks, but I actually think it's the right thing. As much as M isn't a dirty player, you just can't be cross checking other girls in the face. (Though she explained that it was more of a response to feeling threatened by the girl, who she felt was coming at her.)

In the end, I'm reminded of why I'm glad I'm the goalie. There's a certain distance as the tendy. You exist on the fringes of whatever shit happens between skaters most of the time, so I tend to watch this stuff and whatever shitstorm of fallout comes with it, with detached amusement.

All I know is I need to try and stop the next puck.

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Houses & the Hockey

I feel like I should post something, but I don't have a lot to say over here lately. I've been playing, but poorly, and it's not much fun lately. Monday games have been a bit of a chore. Women's league, we're 0-5, and it's not like we have a bad team, so... maybe it's the goalie?

I dunno. I'm just in the dumps and not enjoying the game much and, even worse, not caring very much. I feel like I've lost my edge, mentally. I feel disconnected from the games I'm playing, almost like an observer more than a participant. Maybe it's a self-defense thing since I've been letting in so many goals. That's not really ME out there, is it?

Whatever the case, things are just off -- WAY off -- and as much as it's not fun to play right now, it's even less fun to dwell about it here.

Maybe I'm just missing some inspiration, and hopefully the hockey season will get that back for me and get me excited watching real goalies do their thing again. Maybe I miss my muse. Who am I kidding? I definitely do. But nothing I can do about that.

Fortunately, life isn't all work, suck at hockey, and sleep. We closed on the new house last Monday and it's been nonstop doing things around the house to spiff it up. A stream of estimates on windows, paint, electrical, moving. Updating the awful gold fixtures with sleek nickel ones. And a lot more.

I'm really in my element and having a lot of fun with the work. In fact, I call it play, so I guess it's not work at all. Thankfully, I am having fun and success at something, even if it's not hockey.

So, that's the state of the union, and since this isn't a house remodeling blog, that's why it's quiet and will probably stay that way for a bit longer.

Off-ice hockey stuff is spiking a bit this week, as Wednesday night, I'm doing a "hockey tutoring" session at the Leaf (naturally) with @AGirlintheSouth, author of Tales from the Juice Box, an Astros blog.

She's a baseball girl, but she wants to learn about hockey, which is pretty cool and I'm happy to help however I can. Especially if there's beer and the Jays are on.

Then on Thursday, I'll be back at the Leaf for free cheesecake. Oh, and to meet the new Aeros coaching staff and president. But mainly for free cheesecake. I'll have to replace a lot of gold door hinges to work that off, but it will be worth it.

Meanwhile, Major is sitting here next to me, farting up a storm and I can't take it any more, so I'm out. Sticks on the ice, my darlings.

Speaking of muses...

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Hot and Cold

Oh, hey there!

You know what sucks? Not having my Monday night drop-in.

You know why? Because I stink up the first period at Women's League on Tuesday after not seeing a shot for a week.

A least it was only 3 goals last night instead of 4 like the week before. Maybe next week we can hold 'em back and get a win and get that ugly 0 out of the win column. :\

But yeah, first period, I stunk. Wasn't seeing the puck well, wasn't moving well (even for me), was antsy and unsure of myself. I was terrible in warmups and usually that lights a fire under me and my game ends up okay.

Not last night! Things started to finally pick up about midway through the second, and in the third, I played MUCH better and stopped lots of shots.

My captain actually helped me a ton by pointing out one of their better players and how she almost NEVER passes the puck. They had a lot of good players so this gal wasn't really sticking out for me, but she had several good chances in the third period and I was ready for her. She passed once the whole period and telegraphed it so hard, I was ready.

So there's a tip for you skaters, at least if you're playing against me: If you're dressed sort of non-distinctively, like no loud colors or unusual socks or bright green laces or red breezers or whatever, I'm not going to necessarily pin down your tendencies as well as someone who stands out visually.

It's funny though, my captain was trying to tell me who she was and she was telling me about her helmet. And I'm like, "Yeah, I don't see heads. I see socks and down." She finally had to point her out to me during play. "Oh! Buffalo Socks!" And lo and behold... shot, shot, shot from that girl. Yeah, bring that on, honey.

Save of the night was against one of my favorite girls from my team last season (which I'm still not over that I have to play AGAINST my teammates. I'm hardwired toward loyalty, especially since I really loved that team, so I don't adjust quickly to that change.)

She's a VERY good French-Canadian player and honestly, as good as she is, I've never seen her embarrass a goalie. She could easily dance around our D and deke us into next Sunday, but she dials it back and plays within the context of the league while still playing hard. I don't know how she finds that balance, but she really does.

Anyway, that said, she came in on a short breakaway on my blocker side looking for a hole short side. I don't give her one, so she comes across the top of the crease and tries to poke it 5-hole as I'm pushing across.

DENIED. Ooooo, baby, that's how it's supposed to work! Got a big "AWWW!" from her and then a pat on the shoulder for a good save. Told her, "I honestly thought you had me." But nope. Snagged it just inside my knee stacks. Phew! Save of the game!

Nice to finish the game on a good note.

Even better is that the hottie league plays after us on Tuesday nights. It's like B level guys and they're all young and foxy and move nicely on the ice. My Brusty-pads goalie plays that league, too, so double-bonus for me! If you're looking for some foxy hockey action to scratch your Aeros itch, get down to SLICE on Tuesday nights. Rawr!

That's it for me and hockey for the week. Apart from that, mostly my life revolves around vacuuming and dusting my house almost constantly (thanks, dog) and getting paperwork/vendors/utilities/etc. ready for the new house to close in a little less than 3 weeks.

I'll be really glad when we're moved into the new house and I'm not constantly on Dog Fur Watch here in the house we're trying to sell. Gotten lots of positive feedback on the place though, so I feel good that we'll find someone who loves it as much as we have sooner than later.

Here's to the government not fucking the whole thing up with their shenanigans. Idiots.

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Up Up Up

Okay, feeling better since my last post. I've spent nearly every minute since then getting our house ready to put on the market. It's been a ton of work but I feel so much better having most of it done. Only about, um, 30 things left on my to-do list. Ha!

No hockey last week, and now my Monday night group is canceled for the month due to low attendance. I'm hoping the cancellation will light a fire under the skaters going forward so they understand if they don't act and it looks like the session won't make budget for the month, they're SOL.

Much to my chagrin, without drop-in, I have no excuse not to do goalie clinic. But it was actually really good last night.

Best part was that we kinda did our own warm-up, not a bunch of movement that had my legs burning before we even started. So I actually felt much fresher and better for the drills and got a lot more out of them.

What's really fun is seeing the goalies who did Camp Brusty and how excited they are about what they learned. As much as I say I only did that to get to ogle Brusty for a week, I have to admit, seeing their progress and enthusiasm is really gratifying.

I hung out with one of the other PFGS Houston goalies and a defenseman-skater who helped shoot at camp in the parking lot after working on some positioning stuff. It's fun to just talk shop, especially with a more experienced goalie and really thoughtful defenseman.

It's funny to me how intensely, deeply humbling goaltending is. Especially learning as an adult. Especially when you're the sort of adult who's not really faced a lot of adversity. *raises hand* Like, last night, I haven't skated since camp and I step on the ice and my skate doesn't move across the ice. It was like I'd stepped on the ice with spikes on instead of skates.

So, of course, I face plant HARD. Water bottle goes flying. I sit up and look at my skate blades to see what the fuck is wrong with them. Nothing. Just something weird with the ice right there (someone in skater skates said they got stuck right there, too).

Sure, it was a little embarrassing but old Ms. Conduct would have been blushing and cringing for days over that. New Ms.Conduct just got up, rounded up her water bottle, and carried on. Honestly didn't think about it again until just now. Hey, everybody's hit a rut and face-planted at some point if they've spent enough time on the ice.

Seems like a silly thing to ever have been mortally embarrassed about but I would have been for sure. I guess I never did anything before hockey that I wasn't pretty naturally good at from the outset. I've never had to fail so much and keep finding the will to come back again and again.

I guess it's a lot like golf. Except for the part where there's a team depending on you to not suck. That's the hard part, eh? :)

Hey, look at the new necklace I got!

Awwww. :) You can have one, too.

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Quick Hits: Happiness; Soupy; Headcase; House; John Lynch

I have this theory that people who need lots of pithy, inspirational quotes in their lives are, deep down, the most miserable.

Of course, they generally seem like balanced, happy people, so I think my theory is probably bullshit, but it makes me feel better for rolling my eyes at their pearls of wisdom.

I'm not remotely a miserable person, even though I think some people think I am if they don't know me well. Mostly I just like to kvetch and be dramatic. It's just how I roll. But I'm generally pretty happy. And I do it WITHOUT quotes from Oprah on my wall...

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Swear to God I saw Brian Campbell with some other really attractive hockey guy at Home Depot this morning. In Houston. Yeah. But I swear it was him. Nearly chased him down to somehow get in front of him and look at his knees.

Hockey players: You can tell them by their Bauer bumps and their freakish knees.

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I feel kinda bad when well-adjusted goalies try to help me with my game. I'm used to being sort of a mess and don't really mind most of the time, but they don't understand that and always get to the point of, like, "Well, good luck with that."

Maybe I should start those conversations with, "Just a heads up, you won't be able to help me." Just trust me. Others have traveled that path. People with patience and kindness and lots of knowledge. And they've finally had to be all, "Um, I need to go... wash my hair/dog/car," when it was clear my neuroses are firmly attached.

It's funny, when I first started playing, I'd suck and I'd beat myself up and people were like, "Gahhh, stop taking it so seriously!"

Well, I finally learned to not take it so seriously and now it's like, "If you're not taking it seriously, how can you get better?"

Well shit.

But I have more fun not taking it seriously, so I'll stick with that route.

I've only met one other goalie who really seemed to understand where I'm coming from as a new goalie. She's a new goalie, too, in California. Neither of us have athletic backgrounds. Both of us approach the game intellectually first. It's like this:

Step 1: Wrap brain around concept. Tell me why you want me to do something a certain way. Tell me why we're going to work on it a certain way. OVERexplain. Pretend I'm learning disabled. Because I kinda am here.

Step 2: If I'm continuously doing it wrong, stop everything and figure out WHY I'm doing it wrong. It's not because I'm not trying. It's because I don't understand what's keeping me from doing it right. There is rarely time for Step 2, BTW.

For instance, one of the drills Thursday was working on the dreaded, hated VHS. I can do the VHS marginally on my glove side. But I go over and try to do it on my left and I can't do anything but full butterfly.

So I do it the first time and Brusty's like, "Keep your post leg up." I'm all, "Uh, I did, didn't it?" "Nope." "Oh..."

Okay, so we try again. Son of a... he's right. I can't keep that right leg straight up against the post. It leans in  and that sends the other leg sliding and then it all just craters into a full butterfly. (I should note right here that I did actually STOP all the practice shots even though I couldn't do the VHS, soooo....  anyway....)

I tried to diagnose it a bit myself, by bowing out of the awful looking center ice skating drill (the WORST part of camp since I'm a terrible skater) and grabbing an empty net to work on that. Mostly I think all I did was fuck up my hip. Big ol' middle finger to the VHS.

Glad I couldn't read Brusty's mind during that. Haha. "Oh my god, she's a mess." At least that's what I was thinking. That and, "Dear Self, I was only kidding about being awful at Brusty's drill so he'd have to work with me more!"

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Okay. Back to cleaning out the house. I'm so excited about moving into our tiny flood plain house. We already bought numbers for the front of it because it doesn't have any right now. Can't wait to only be on ONE FLOOR!

And like the dork that I am, I'm probably most excited about our oversized garage. Mr.C is in charge of "wealth management" and I'm in charge of "tools and fixin' stuff." I definitely have the better end of that deal, until I can't fix something and it costs us $200 to get the plumber or handyman or whoever out.

Then I have to present the issue to Mr.C and tell him how it's going to cost twice as much as he thinks it should. That end of my deal isn't so great. He's not "cheap" per se, but he hates to spend money unnecessarily. But sometimes you just have to hire a pro and do it right. 

Regardless, I have a place to hang all my tools. We're even getting me a proper toolbox! *grunt!*

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I was cleaning out my desk stuff today and found my autographed photo of John Lynch, my first sports boyfriend. I still think that guy is the cat's meow. Wish I could find an online version of the pic I have. It's ubersexy. This will have to do:

#PantySoup

I'd probably still have some semblance of football fannage left in me if he still played. Any wonder my favorite position, after kickers (poor little weirdos), is safety. :) #mmmmlastlineofdefense

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Exhaling. Resetting.

Sorry gang. I've been holding my breath for 3 days, hoping my next post here would be celebrating The Dream coming true.

But my ridiculously high expectations were dashed Wednesday night in dramatic fashion and I've since had to exhale and reset.

It's taken me until today to be honestly, completely happy for Bingo, which seems crazy and probably is, given my strong affinity for so many people on and associated with that team. But for 24 hours or so there, reminders of Bingo sweeping had an implied "and the Aeros didn't" attached. Bah. Shut up.

But regardless of what happens, I really can't lose. I can only win less. Either way, I have a dog in the fight and I'd love to see Binghamton shove it up Hamilton's collective derrieres if it comes to that. Especially Ryan White's. Greasy prick.

If you didn't catch my tweet of it yesterday, here's Bingo's room after their game Wednesday. Even media don't get these kinds of peeks too often, as there's usually a cooling off period after the game before reporters are allowed in.




Oh, hockey boys. Just ignore me yelling, "TAKE IT OFF!" when I watch that. Just instinct. Can't help it. Also ignore the singles I'm shoving at the screen when they show Cody "Hotter than Koivu" Bass. Rawr.

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Not a great week of goaltending for me, which is par for the course lately, but I offered up to the Hockey Gods my own hopes for success in the women's 3 on 3 tourney Tuesday night in exchange for the Aeros and Bingo wins. I'm fine with that trade, naturally.

I was playing across the ice from a girl who's been playing since she was a kid. Pure stand-up goalie. And really good, too. Those stand-up tendies sure make it look easy.... until one goes right between their skates. She whipped me, though, and seemed to hardly even move while doing it, so I guess I can't talk.

Ah well, it was fun and a killer workout to play 3 on 3 for an hour straight. I was flat out by the end of the last game.

Only clinic and drop-in next week, so I guess I'll do both. I sucked at drop-in this week even without doing clinic, soooo I might as well do clinic, right? Meh.

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Peaks and Valleys

The Hockey Gods are a funny bunch.

Monday night, I spent half of goalie clinic fighting back tears of frustration about my game. After clinic, I couldn't even talk to Scott TFCG or I'd cry in front of everyone. I had to go right to the bathroom, which thankfully was empty, and sob for a few minutes.

I managed to gather myself long enough to put my gear together and get to the car, but once there, the waterworks started again and didn't stop until well after I was home 30 minutes later.

Needless to say, I was not enjoying the process. I was feeling like a huge disappointment who couldn't stop a beach ball. The feeling had been simmering for a few weeks and something snapped Monday night on the "broken arrow" drill (a tough one that I'm really bad at) and I was just broken.

Afterwards, as I'm crying to Mr. C, he said, "So doesn't this usually mean you'll be great in your next game?"

Oh, my clairvoyant husband....

Okay, maybe I wasn't great in the women's league championship last night. My team sure was and kept me from getting shelled. But I had some stops I'm proud of and that reinforced that I may not do a lot of things right or well as a goalie, but I can stop some pucks when I need to.

The game ended up 3-2. My two goals, one was a shot from the right circle that I bobbled right into my own net. You'd think it was a hot potato the way I just couldn't get it to settle in my glove. Mexican Jumping Puck. I swear I need StickUm in my glove. Nobody has ever had more pop outs than me.

The second was a completely unabated breakaway by their best player and I bit on her fake. Should have poke checked her, but I was indecisive about it and once you're indecisive, it's all over.

However!

There was another breakaway later in the 3rd when we were up by 1 and for me it was just about trying to hold the fort. I trusted my team enough that I knew I could take some risks and they'd be there to clean up the mess.

And I was right. I pulled a big time Brusty on this breakaway and shocked the hell out of the skater as the puck hit my pad and went flying into the end boards.

It rebounded out from the end boards back up above the goal line and I thought, "Aw fuck, that bit me in the ass." But while the skater was trying to get her bearings and gather the puck, I manged to dive back in the nick of time and get my stick in front of her shot into the empty net.

I literally could not believe I just made that series of saves. Without question my best desperation save ever. After that, it was a blur of skates and tangled gear and screaming at my team to "GIT IT!!!!" because I'd lost sight of it finally.

And git it they did. My last memory of that rush was my defenseman getting control and skating it toward the blue line. It was a vision of loveliness that I'll never forget. I so didn't want that puck in the net after all that work.

Then we got a penalty with just a minute or so left. But my girls busted their asses to keep the puck in the other team's zone so they couldn't pull the goalie for an extra man.

I refused to look behind me at the clock because I didn't want to feel like I could let up. But once my team started cheering, I knew it was just seconds away. What a sweet sound that buzzer was.

And what a sweet turnaround from an awful night Monday. I could even feel some of the work we've done in clinic coming to bear in my game.

So there ya go. I'll try to post a pic of me, a sheet or two to the wind, molesting our trophy. I think I was the only one who cared a whole lot about it, but it meant a lot to me.

It meant a lot to have a team that believed in me and liked me being in net for them. That goes an awful long way toward me being able to work up the competitive juices that don't come all that naturally to me.

I'm very sad the season is over. For my first "real team" experience, I think I was spoiled rotten by these gals. But I've made some friends here and really feel like I've gotten more to the heart of women's hockey. And it's a very good place. I'm lucky to feel so welcome and at home there.

Oh yeah, and the Aeros fucking won game 7, bitches!!!! Git 'er done for ONE MORE ROUND, and maybe Bingo comes to Texas for the Calder Cup! #myheadexplodes

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Not so quick hits: Birthday Edition

The dream lives!

Don't ask me who I'd root for if the Aeros and B-Sens, by some miracle, ended up playing each other for the Calder Cup. Honestly, I'm pretty sure it would be the Aeros. I know where my bread is buttered and what an honor and treat it would be to cover a Championship team.

But that's way way WAY ahead of this Round 2 point we're both at now. All I can say is, Get well soon, Corey Locke. Keep the dream alive, squirt!

Of course, if Lehner cements the starting role in Bingo (ride the hot goalie, right?), there really is no question of my loyalty but I'd totally sneak down to the backup goalie corner and marvel at Brusty's hair.

Bonus tongue!
Photo courtesy of Tracy Hicks/White Raven Creations/Press Photo International

No kidding, I've had at least 5 pictures of the BACK of him randomly sent to me by various friends/enablers, because the flow is so bitchin'. I love my hockey friends so much. :)

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Today's my birthday. 35 again. Shut up. I'm staying 35 until someone outright laughs at me when I tell them my age. I figure I can be 35 for a good 10 years if I keep after the Oil of Olay and sunscreen and stop smiling.

:) <--this is all you get

I'm spending my birthday working my tail off to meet a couple of deadlines (worked most of Sunday, too), then working my tail off on the ice at goalie clinic and then drop-in.

Likely have a playoff game Tuesday night at women's league, too, so hopefully I'm not hurting too badly after Monday.

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Speaking of which, my buddy and awesome goalie writer Kevin Woodley, tweeted this last night:


I sorta half read the quote. Then I went back and half read it again. And then I really read it. And then I started choking back tears.

At least for me, that really does boil it down to what matters on the inside for a goalie. And for me, they're sometimes hard to remember. And I guess what's amazing is that a guy playing at the highest level has to remind himself of these things, too.

"Don't fear failure." I'm mortified of failure. Failure = embarrassment and embarrassment is honestly my biggest motivator and my biggest inhibitor. I play with too much fear, and 90% of that is fear of failure.

"Compete 100%." Um yeah. Nobody's going to be making any dramatic movies about my competitive spirit. I'm getting better though. Contrary to the "just play and have fun" spirit of women's league, my experience there as actually upped my competitiveness. Because I have a team and stats and playoffs and all that "evidence" of my success or suck-ess, it's easier to get in the zone.

"Play for others." This one makes my head swim a little. Goalie is so solitary, playing a game within the game, with your own (and usually quite different) mental and physical needs and demands. It's easy to get and stay wrapped in your little cocoon of goalieness and not really connect with what everyone else on the ice is experiencing. My best games have come when I AM engaged in the experience others are having, but not worried about it.

"Enjoy the process." This is the one I have the least trouble remembering, but man, when the shit starts flying and I'm knocking pucks into my own net, all my mind can think is "Fuck the process." But screwing up and being miserable and watching the clock IS part of the process. It's just the part I don't like and want to minimize.

God, I feel like I need therapy after writing that. But, I dunno, I felt like that "quote" was worth sharing. I was surprised how strong my reaction to it was.

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Nothing real special going on today. Monday birthdays are kinda lame other than I get to see a shit ton of rubber, so that's cool. My real birthday gift is my trip to Dallas Wednesday and Thursday to see my Jaybirdses! Yay!

It's funny because my Dad is as excited as I am. No other way he's getting to go to Dallas and see HIS favorite team two days in a row. But Mom's putting up with it because it's what her lovely daughter wants. Any wonder I'm such a brat... ;)

He's also excited because it's dollar hot dog day on Wednesday. I'm bringing Tums...

Also, crushing pretty hard on Snidey, that foxy meat mixer... can't wait to get my gawk and giggle on.

GO BLUEJAYS!!!!

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You know it's a bad night in goal when you're the other team's MVP

Let's start with this: I love my team. There's not even a "but" coming. I just love them.

We were missing some of our best players tonight against Captain Danglemitts' team (who was not there, fortunately), but they had all their best players except her. So it was a shooting gallery in my end. I saw 28 shots in 42 minutes of play and stayed really busy, especially in the first and second.

I didn't play a bad game overall, BUT... I put TWO of the goals IN the net with MY OWN GLOVE.

Stand on top of a mountain and scream FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK and let it echo off the surrounding mountains and that's pretty much the sound in my head after each one.

They were both shots that, one way or another got past me and were sitting on the goal line. All I had to do was sweep them into my body and we're done. No goal. (Though we still would have lost as the final was 4-1.)

But because I'm a glove retard, I pushed them INTO the goal while trying to snag them. /insert mountain  echo fuck again/

So, even though I stopped probably 5 breakaways and plenty of good shots, you goalies know that even one fuck-up like that can take it all away. Two makes you want to beat yourself to death with your own goalie stick.

I get in the room after and I'm NOT HAPPY. I'm trying to be cool, trying to keep perspective, but then the girls compliment my game and I can't hold it in. "Yeah, good game except for those TWO GOALS I put in with my OWN GLOVE."

So one of the girls says, "Okay, good game, except for those TWO AWFUL GOALS! What were you DOING?" She's kidding of course, but I actually felt a little better hearing that.

So I said, 'Thank you! Exactly!"

And the other girls caught on and I egged them on to just give me shit for my "awful" game. I don't think any of them understood it. I'm not sure I did either, but honest to god, it made me feel better.

I told them I should call one of those phone sex lines (I was thinking of @TeleEroticist's Submissive Line) and pay someone to berate me for my bad game so I feel better.

It's like, when I'm mad at myself for a game, I'm mad at myself as much on my behalf as on theirs. So it's a big burden to carry, their anger and mine. But by them, even jokingly, giving me hell for it, I could give their anger back to them and not have to carry it myself.

Or something like that.

Whatever the case, I had a smile on my face after that and I was able to (mostly) just learn my lesson (don't COVER the puck, put the glove behind the puck and pull it towards me) and move on.

Anyway, I love my team for doing that and for lots of other reasons. This was our last regular season game of the season, which makes me sad. The deck will get shuffled next season and I'll likely have to face the girls I've grown to adore.

If we're still in 1st place, we don't play for 2 weeks -- one bye week and one "play-in" game for the playoffs, which I don't understand --  but hopefully this knocked us into second place and we can play again 2 weeks from now. (Don't try to figure it out.) I just show up when they tell me to and try to get in front of pucks.



Playoffs start tomorrow. Kuemper's team is one loss away from getting swept by Medicine Hat (and best hockey name since Clutter, goalie Tyler Bunz), so maybe he joins the crew soon, too.

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Shutout. For Realsies.

I remember back when I had that shutout that I lost ultimately in the shootout. I was moaning about it to Scott and he said something that stuck with me: Everybody wants that first shutout, but you'll find that it wasn't your best game and there are games you let goals in that you're a lot more proud of.

And he's right. We got a shutout tonight 100% because my girls played like rock stars and kept the puck away from me, not because of any grand effort on my part. I saw maybe 10-15 shots tonight in 42 minutes of play. I was bored, honestly, and I played just fine and handled the shots I saw, but nothing heroic.

I tell ya though, I had the clock behind me in the third and I knew time was running down, but there was no way I was looking back at the clock to see how much was left. I was DYING to know. But I knew the buzzer would be that much more satisfying if it came as a surprise.

I normally don't react to wins. Just go out and shake hands and smile a little more. But I allowed myself a little fist pump after the final buzzer. I feel like I've come so close so many times, I at least earned that. A shutout is a special thing for a goalie, even when it's not exactly earned the hard way.

So, that was nice and now I can scratch that off my bucket list. Only took 2 years and 4 months in net to nail that one down.

It was also cool that it came when I had friends watching the game. Usually when I have someone I know there to watch, I choke. So, I've got witnesses if nothing else. :)

It was a fun night. Some tasty food and drinks and jello shots after the game and a good time with the girls. I love this bunch a whole lot.

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So I went back to wearing my pads loose and they seemed to be rotating better. Also, I found that my suspenders had lengthened on the right side, so I hiked those up to where they're supposed to be. I guess I'm going to have to glue or stitch them in place. That could be part of the problem. The pads felt a lot better tonight.

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I haven't written about Brusty in a while because I think I've said it all at this point. But these quotes from him today (er, yesterday) are particularly delectable. Props to my *ahem* second favorite AHL beat writer, Joy Lindsay, for getting these.

The stuff about his appreciation for where he is now vs. the last couple of years, both health-wise and organizational respect-wise, as well as the bonding in post-season stuff gave me goosebumps. The guy is just a straight up great quote. Beat writer gold.

And honestly, it takes some effort to give thoughtful answers. Not too many guys will be so earnest and honest.

Rooting hard for Bingo to lock up their playoff spot tomorrow!

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Just because we did a little post-game bootie shaking to this one in the bar tonight....



"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun." - Best Lyric Ever

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Gameday Food, Hot Thighs, Tonight's Win

I spend a week or so every spring thinking my dog is dying because he won't eat the food I sit out for him. He of the unquenchable appetite... surely if he doesn't want food, he's on death's door.

But he finally ate the rest of yesterday's food and a delicious dental bone, so my worrying seems to be for naught.

This was going on as I was wolfing down my 3 oz of whole grain spaghetti with butter and parmesan, my default game day linner (late lunch, early dinner since I like to play on a mostly empty stomach).

As I ate, my mind wandered to wondering what my fellow goalies eat before they play (like, do you have a set thing or just whatever) and are you as adamant as me about not eating within a few hours of playing? I'm terrified of having a particularly tough game and barfing it up. How embarrassing that would be? I put up with the occasional growly stomach in the hour or two before I play in order to avoid that.

Also, are you like me where you're always having to tell your significant other that they're eating alone again because of hockey? I feel badly about it even though Mr.C is very understanding.

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One thing he does do on those OYO nights is go eat stuff I can't/won't eat because it's too caloric. See, I've been working diligently on losing weight since December. It's going pretty well, too, but I've avoided talking about it on here because reading about other peoples' weight loss trials and tribulations is as much fun as a root canal.

And that policy will stand, but I mention it only because I find myself obsessed with my thigh muscles lately. Between losing weight and working out to build up my legs, I've got some pretty solid and handsome muscle going on there. I sit on the couch and admire that nice curve of my quadriceps. I flex them. I fondle them. We have a lovely time together.

It's like having my very own hockey player to look at all the time (without the bad things that come with hockey players...)! Maybe this is the cure for puck bunnyism (for those who wish to be cured). Build your own hockey muscles and fondle those instead, gurl..

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Women's league was meh tonight. My team was very good after I put them in a 2-0 hole early on a couple of bad goals. Well, not bad bad, but I was too deep on the first glove side shot from the high slot. Toes in. Shoulda been toes out, if not heels out. The puck hit the outer tip of my glove but not enough to change the trajectory.

The other, I just mishandled a tight shot along the ice.

But the first one really got to me and I was grumpy the rest of the game. Relieved that my team bailed me out, but still grumpy. I don't like when I'm fighting the puck and feeling clumsy, which I was a lot of the night.

Did have some good saves down the stretch but didn't see a lot of shots either.

Ah well. A win is a win and we don't beat this team often. Captain Danglemitts wasn't even there, but they've got some good players. Just nobody who can/will straight up humiliate me like she does. Didn't miss it, honestly. Any crankier and I might have ... I dunno what. Let more goals in. :)

Tightened my straps on my persnickety right pad and that seemed to help rotation, but I'm not sure that was a thorough enough sample. A Monday game will tell the tale better as those boys get me moving more.

Alas, I'll have to wait a bit. I have to travel for work Monday, and Tuesday is a bye at women's league. Might see about doing Harpies Wednesday, or I might give myself a break. Sometimes these chances for a break fall in your lap and it's the hockey gods saying to go do something else for a few days.

Plus my gear is in DESPERATE need of a bath. That's tomorrow's adventure. For now... I have a date with a  bowl of chocolate Cheerios. Yuuum.

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Not-so-quick hits: Like wall, pad rotation, Blue Jays

Good night in goal tonight. Been a while since I fell headfirst into the zone and stayed there for a while, but I sure did after letting a few too many in early on.

I wasn't particularly frustrated by the goals or anything. It was some breakaway stuff and a screen and maybe one where I just couldn't get over. Nothing horrible. And then finally, I just got locked in. Man does that feel good.

One guy had a great chance and I stopped it (don't even remember the scenario but I know it was a good save) and he just yells, "BITCH!!" not AT me in an aggressive way, but just sort of to the universe. I was so proud. Why yes, bitch just smacked you down, didn't she?! <3 I feel like I should get another trophy.

(Fun fact: If you Google "bitch trophy," you get a bunch of pictures of show dogs. Not what I was after.)

Another guy who is decent and usually gets one past me at some point if he tries hard enough just couldn't get it done tonight. He's a VERY nice guy, always pegs my net for me, takes blame for defensive failures, just a pleasure to play with. And he was on fire tonight, always getting the puck on his stick.

He must have put 10-15 shots on me all by himself, trying every which way, and I stopped all of them. He was so funny to watch get more and more frustrated and in disbelief. His exclamations got louder with each stop.

And with every stop, I was more and more determined to make sure he got blanked for the night. It turned into a game just between us after a while. He wasn't even passing anymore. He was just on a mission to score a goal. Sorry, sir!

I love my night job. ;)

I missed my women's league game last week, but the other team had to forfeit due to lack of turnout, so my girls won. Tomorrow is another battle royale with Captain Danglemitts' team. I hope I can carry this loose feeling with me.

Lately I've seen frequent mentions that resonate with me regarding worrying about the process rather than the outcome. Women's league defines that concept. Women's league is ALL process. It's nice to win but the fun and the effort and the learning and the bonding and all that good stuff is why we come out each week season after season.

I think the most fun I've had was the last one I played where we lost 5-2. Go figure. Could just be because of how drunk I got after.

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I'm back to having trouble with my right pad not rotating when I butterfly. The new pads rotated perfectly until recently, and I guess now that they're broken in, they're succumbing to whatever caused that with my old pads.

The right pad actually rotates inward on me while I play so I'm always adjusting it back to square on my leg, so I'm sure that's why it's landing under me. Maybe it's my pants?

I dunno. It's really frustrating and newbie-esque for those silly things to keep landing under my leg instead of flipping up. Also doesn't stop pucks as well, which is kinda what I like to be able to do.

My pants are getting quite enormous on me as I continue to shrink, so maybe that's on the agenda as the next replacement purchase.

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Baseball ahead:

Going to my first Blue Jays games for my birthday at the end of April in Dallas. At night on the 27th and a day game on the 28th. Should be a blast. My parents are coming up and my aunt and uncle are going. I missed seeing them at Christmas, so it will be fun to catch up and see my birdies, too.

I'm highly tempted to get a Meats Don't Clash shirt and see if I can get Snidey to sign it or honk a boobie for luck or whatever. Love me some Snidey.

But I'm also cheap, so I probably won't.

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Let's Talk Zebras

There are some parts of hockey that I probably will never have an appreciation for, such as why anybody would subject themselves to being a referee. I know a lot of people feel that way about goaltending, but at least as a goalie, you have the satisfaction of playing the actual game.

I'm not sure where referees derive their satisfaction other than staying out of the way and not getting yelled at. And I don't think I've seen many games where that actually happens.

That said, I like refs and have a lot of respect for them, precisely because they are willing to do such a thankless job, take criticism and yelling and disagreement with such grace (usually), and at least where I play, don't have the benefit of linesmen to help "see" the whole game. Just one guy to control an unruly mass of hockey players.

But even I occasionally bark at them for a slow whistle or missed infraction on my teammate. Or like the ref in Saturday's tourney game who didn't call the goal against me until the player who scored it challenged him on it. What?

Anyway, a couple of things I've been wondering about our friends and, I like to think, ultimate protectors of goalies, the men in stripes:

First, I wonder if it annoys them when players compliment them on a call when it goes in their favor. I think I would find it condescending. Compliment me on a tough call that I make right, but not just because I called the play offside to prevent an odd man rush in your zone.

I did that yesterday when the ref waved off a goal that was put in with a high stick. I, of course, didn't see it. I somehow deflected a shot from beside the net into the air and the guy on the back door batted it in before I even knew where the puck was. "Good eye, ref."

I don't actually know if he had a good eye or not but I sure appreciated the no-goal. But I felt a little slimy only praising him because it saved my bacon a little bit.

Second, now that I've played with a lot more different refs around the area, I'm curious about calling Icing. It's important to me because I want to throw my arm up and save my defense the effort of charging hard up the ice to retrieve the puck if they don't need to.

I guess you could argue that I should know if it's icing myself, but I'm focused on the puck and players positions and my position and all that when they're that far away from me, so I don't necessarily notice a) who shot the puck up the ice, b) if they were necessarily above center ice and c) if someone got a stick or shin or whatever on it on its way up the ice that would negate icing.

I think you can tell pretty quickly though if it's going to be icing, assuming you saw it was shot from above the center ice line. Pucks have a pretty predictable speed. And my favorite referees will make that call as soon as they think it's going to be icing.

Arm goes up. "ICE!" And then my arm goes up.

But I keep running across refs who might say ice, but not loud enough for me to hear it, don't raise their arm until it hits the goal line, and don't blow the whistle until it hits the wall. By this time, my teammate is charging up the ice and I'm not sure what the call is because I'm not sure what the ref is thinking.

I guess I'm just wishing for a clear, distinct call (audible and visual) either way as soon as possible so I can communicate it. I think 95% of icings, you know whether or not they're icing based on speed and trajectory by the time they hit the top of the face off circles.

And if you're wrong and the puck takes a hop that either slows it down or puts it on goal, then you change the call and we'll deal with it.

But I'm not a ref and I don't know how they teach this stuff at ref school. And with touch icing in the pros, I don't get to see how the pro refs would handle it.

Goalies? What's your experience with this (or do you even care)? Any refs out there want to chime in, I'd love to hear the decision making process involved, what the "best practice" supposedly is, etc.

Like I said, I really do like refs as I trust them to keep me safe with timely whistles and stuff like that, and they always have. But the more different refs I play with, the more I see differences in how icing in particular is called and the more curious I get about whether my occasional annoyance is justified.

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Long, boring, as-if-you-cared post

Daylight Savings Time can kiss my round goalie ass.

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So, what was looking to be a fairly sedate weekend turned super duper busy at 3 p.m. yesterday when I got a frantic email from one of the folks at the Paddy Dillo tournament down at SLICE. One team lost their goalie, who is a doctor specializing in radiation and had to leave for Japan (as good a reason as any to ditch a hockey tournament). So they needed someone to fill in.

Game at 4:30. Yipes! Especially considering I hadn't really eaten much yet.

So I go with really no notion of the level I'm playing or anything. But I figure I'm better than no goalie at all (which has pretty much been my motto since I started playing).

Anyway, the hockey gods shine on me and give me the best puck luck I've ever had. The other team must have hit 10 posts. An inch here or there and I woulda been lit up like a roman candle, but we got the win 3-1.

Knowing that I played okay but mostly survived on luck left me feeling not very satisfied with my game. Not bothered really but not cranking the tunes on the way home either.

So, I guess I passed muster and they asked me back for the 9:15 a.m. Sunday game. They'd lost their first two games so there was no chance of going to the finals. We were basically just acting as spoilers for the rest of the teams. I think they had to beat us by 5 or 6 goals to get into the finals, and they did.

All that puck luck I used on Saturday was long gone for Sunday. I think I got a piece of nearly everything that went in but it would hit my stick and bounce over my head in to the net. Shit like that.

And in these Dillo tourneys, goals by women count as 2 points. It's smart in terms of encouraging passing to the ladies, but shitty for goalies as it can quickly make them look way worse than they were. Fortunately folks don't seem to take things too seriously, which makes it a pretty fun gig for a goalie and makes up for the statistical downer.

Anyway, the second game, in spite of the 7-1 loss, was actually more satisfying to me. Not sure why. I actually didn't feel like I had as bad a game as the score showed. Plus I was done with a rather grinding 18 hours of goaltending responsibilities (3 games, including one for the Willowbrook novice league Saturday night). I think having that off my shoulders was part of the light feeling after that game.

I had fun at novice (and won 3-2) even though I was crazy tired and didn't really want to be there. It was fun to see the guys I was having so much fun playing with the last couple of seasons (in spite of sort of zoning out on the league in general). A couple of them begged me to come back next season but man, I hate playing Saturdays.

And to be honest, it's hard to get up for the practices. It's just skating lightning or some other warm-up thing, and then a million shots that I don't learn much from and just end up with aching knees from all the up and downs. It's great for the skaters but by the end, I was getting more damage than benefit.

But my knee is a lot better lately so we'll see. They're trying to expand to 4 teams, so there is a goalie need for sure and the potential for a ton of ice time. Maybe if I could work into my contract that I don't have to do skating drills. :D

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Anyway, after all that hockey, and then an incredibly-dull-until-the-third-period-6-goal-avalanche Aeros game, I was a zombie tonight. Went to bed at 9:30, watched OTF, fell asleep for 20 minutes and then Mr.C woke me up to show me the Aeros highlights on the news (solid!). And now I'm a zombie but can't sleep.

And the soreness has set in. I've got bruises everywhere. Ankle, shins, the BACK of my right arm, all up and down the inside of my left arm, my hip (from ramming into a stick holder peg on the wall... broke it clean off. Oops. Sorry SLICE.) My groins are sore, my lower abs are sore, my quads are tired, my stick hand is aching.

And I get to go do it again Monday night at drop-in. And then again Wednesday at Harpies (which I signed up for because I'm missing Tuesday's women's league game and wanted to make sure I got enough ice time... uh... yeah, pretty sure I've met the quota).

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Vacation was good. 10th anniversary come and gone at our usual spot in Fredericksburg. Hot tub, running around in the river with the dog, hiking the trails in the woods, disconnecting a bit. It was good. Twitter felt pretty overwhelming when I got on Friday afternoon. :)

My old dawg <3

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Don't Fear The Reaper

I've been trying to write about last night's women's league game, but it's been hard to organize my thoughts into something cohesive. Lemme try though...

We lost 5-2. It was Captain Cornerpicker's team and she was actually there for the first time since the horrible spiraling nightmare game a while back. I think only one of their good players was out (didn't miss her, either). We were without some of our better players, so it was clear from the get go that we were the underdogs.

My d-man came over before the game and reminded me to "smile pretty!" basically saying just have fun because you're about to get hammered.

Aaaand she was right. To the tune of 32 shots per our score keeper (11 at the other end). Keep in mind, we only play a total of 39 minutes. In a 60 minute game, that would have been a 49 shot pace. I had to do math to figure that out. You're welcome.

The first period was the hardest. We just couldn't clear the zone and when we did, it was literally JUST cleared, they got onside, and came right back in. Add in a brutal PK (luckily only 1 minute penalties due to the short periods) and I was dizzy with exhaustion by the time I got to the other net for the second period.

I was proud of myself for shaking it off and digging deep and not giving up. And thank god I doubled up on the pasta during the day! I needed every bit of that energy.

During the second, Captain Breakaway finally got her first unimpeded shot at me. She does this crazy shit where she comes in and basically glides to a stop a couple of feet outside the crease and wants to just wait the goalie out. Make a move, tendy, and then I'll put it around or over you. She really can put the puck anywhere she wants.

And she keeps her head up so it's difficult to surprise her. So I've gotta find a way to take advantage of the fact that she is looking at me. I think there are lots of ways to do that, so I'll just have fun with trying to solve her, rather than beating myself up when I can't. She's an A-league level player and her beating me isn't an indictment on me. But if I didn't try to learn from it, it would be. (Fuck me, is that some level-headed shit or what?)

That said, I DID stop her first breakaway attempt. I stayed up, waited her out and batted it away with my blocker. The second one, not so much. I just couldn't get a read on the trajectory off her stick for whatever reason as she roofed it glove side.

I was pissed but still proud that I'd stopped her earlier and that I wasn't taking the bait in her game.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't feel as much like her victim anymore, which is what I tend to feel when someone just has my number and doesn't seem to have qualms about making me look foolish. I went through this with another player back in novice, but once I started to realize some vulnerabilities in her game, I could just let the tension go and play her without all the alarm bells going off in my head.

The second period was pretty tough, too, but Teal started to slow down a SMIDGE and by the third, my exertion was back to a more sustainable level. But up until then, it was like bad sex... if I had a dollar for every time I yelled, "GET IT OUT!" I could have bought dinner for the team.

And I would have, because in spite of the lopsided appearance, they played really hard and did some great things in front of me. It could have been much worse if they hadn't been sharp. Their attitude was great, too. They were having fun, not worried about the score, and that filtered back to me. It just felt like we were really on the same page.

I was very grateful for and embarrassed by all the kudos I got from pretty much everybody, from the ref to the other team to my own teammates, who opened their wallets at the bar and made sure I wasn't feeling any pain. :) So, I guess you just never know what your best game looks like.

I just know I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for everything I got out of last night. An unreal game, some precious bonding with teammates, and some demons sent packing.

And since one of our fans busted out the cowbell during our game, I have to play this song because I kept thinking about it every time I heard the song.

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Gear Notes & Save Strategy Question

Lots of stuff to talk about after tonight's fun drop-in, so I'll just dive in.

First up is the heart rate monitor. I finally managed to do it correctly and got readings for the full 1:20 that we were on the ice. The beats per minute data seems solid: 155 average and 179 max. It's wasn't a super strenuous game but I didn't have any long lulls either.

The part that doesn't add up is the calories burned: 1901. Ha! I WISH, but I don't think so.

However, I did find some places online that will calculate calories burned based on that average BPM number, weight, and age, and those come back in the 800-1000 calorie range. It's still higher than I expected, but seems much more reasonable. That pretty much covers my post-game snack of a breakfast sandwich and chocolate milk. :)

I'll wear it for women's league tomorrow, which isn't as long, fast paced, or busy for me, and see what the results are. Fun with science!!

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I overdid it with the Sweet Stick on my right skate and that felt pretty weird. Hopefully I can get them sharpened before my game tomorrow night. They just don't feel right now. But there's no question the sweet stick gives them more bite between sharpenings. Just need to use a lighter touch.

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Skate laces in the glove pocket did nothing for me other than look cool. Every single puck that went in my glove came right back out. If they made a glove called the ROACH MOTEL, I would buy that. Pucks check in, but they don't check out. Mine's more like a trampoline.

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Okay, so now I need the union to put their heads together and help me figure out how to stop this move:

Skater shoots left (er, I mean the puck and stick face are to his left when he takes the shot... I guess that's shooting left? I should probably know this but I've never been curious enough about skater stuff to figure the lingo out.)

He comes in on MY left and then cuts across, usually around or just below the hash marks, so I track him across the top of my crease. My main worry is that he's going to try and put it high short side over my blocker shoulder, so I'm headed that way and my momentum is going to my blocker side.

Instead, he shoots across himself and puts it just inside the post far side, usually up a couple of feet to make sure it misses my pad (because I invariably butterfly). I reach for it, but it's JUST outside the tip of my glove.

This happened to me FOUR times tonight. The exact same approach, same move by me, and same shot, in the exact same spot.

And I just don't know what the fuck to do about it. I feel like I have to honor the threat that they could just pop it over my blocker shoulder, but if I'm over far enough to prevent that, I'm pretty much on the post.

Does that make sense or do I need to draw it? Anybody got any advice for that?

I don't get too hard on myself when I understand my reasoning for my move and simply don't know what else to do. That's just a learning opportunity. But these vultures have figured out this works on me, so I need to shut that shit down. All I can think is to challenge more? I dunno. I just can't figure it out.

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Felt like I had to ask Gun Show tonight if he was okay with me giving him shit sometimes. Told him it's a compliment because I don't do that to guys who aren't a threat. This guy is amazing how fast he's picked up the game.

I remember when he first showed up at novice league, wobbling around on his skates. Now he's fast and strong and has pretty sick hands. He's a dentist though, so I guess good hands are part of the deal. Always think it's smart when dentists and orthopedists play hockey. They can probably just write it off as a business expense, right?

But anyway, minus the French Canadian accent, if I'm feeling good about my game, I run my mouth like Fleury. It takes a special (and confident) bunch of skaters to put up with me. Somehow it's adorable when Flower does it, but I do it, I'm cocky or whatever. Please. Just having fun, kids. I can take as much as I give.

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Anyway, good night of hockey. Had some nice saves and played without thinking much. Man it feels good when the brain gets quiet and you're just playing.

I don't understand this song, but I like it. Hit the right note on the way home tonight.

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Catching up, popping up

It's the rare week that I'm too busy to blog, but this was one of those weeks. With a big release at work last night, covering the Aeros for the Chronicle yesterday, and getting ready to do a story for theAHL.com, it's been a busy one.

But I did play Wednesday night just to keep the rust at bay and it was a mix of frustrating and decent. The frustrating was getting scored on in that hole over my goddamn blocker side shoulder 3 times in a row. The 4th time, I got my head in the way. Normally I don't mind a shot off the mask if I make the save, but I was so peeved about the prior 3, that it still annoyed me and was devoid of the usual post-save feelings of victory.

Oh well. I vote we round those corners off the net even more. Who's with me?

Otherwise, I had some okay saves. I didn't know if the style this bunch plays would last but it really has. There are almost never any scrambles around the net or anybody coming in close to try and punch it in. Just shots from several feet away. Which is kinda what I needed after struggling with my angles lately. I felt a lot better on that front and most shots were hitting my stick, meaning I was square to them.

The one thing I did that I've never been able to do before is, say a player fakes a shot and I butterfly, used to, I'd just knee shuffle from there until the puck was either out of danger or they took the shot. I didn't want to be caught in an awkward balance situation getting up when they actually did shoot.

It looks absolutely terrible to see a goalie doing that, and Scott TFCG rightly, but annoyingly, gives me loads of grief about it. But I just didn't have the strength to trust getting up quickly enough, and most shots come low where I play, so I was playing the odds.

But Wednesday, one of the better players faked a shot from inside the circle blocker side. I go down and he doesn't shoot, so I pop back up. HUH? I literally didn't even believe I'd done it myself. And then I did it a few more times later on. Just without even thinking. In fact, annoyance was the dominant feeling I recall having in that moment. Just take the fucking shot. I hate when rec players do that, but luckily I hate it in a way that makes me really determined, so I guess that's a good thing.

It seems like such a simple thing, but in my head, that whole butterfly recovery thing has been a really difficult thing to get going. I guess the work I've been putting in on that front is helping. Nice to see some results before I was really even expecting them.

The other thing is that I tried out my new heart rate monitor on Wednesday. It was all hunky dory during the game. I get to the room and turn off the monitoring, figuring I'll look at the results when I get my gear off. Well, bad plan, genius, because I hit the "start" button again while I was getting undressed and lost my game data. FUCK. Lesson learned.

Anyway, I'll give it another shot next week. Drop-in Monday and women's league Tuesday vs. the Orange team, who I hear have a hot new player. Not hot as in *wolf whistle* but hot as in, assign two people to shut her down. They needed the help though, so it's okay.

Sounds like one of Mr.C's friends and her Canadian boyfriend will be coming to watch me play Tuesday. He referees apparently, so I dunno why he'd wanna come watch us play. I'm sure he sees plenty of slow hockey already, but whatever. Maybe it's just an excuse to catch up. My goal is to recruit her. She runs marathons, so I'm going to bill it as cross training. He can teach her to skate! *evil scheme*

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Okay! I get it!

My angles suck! I'm drifting to the shooter! 4-1 loss tonight. And Captain Nightmare wasn't even there. Their new forward was though. She looks like one of the high school girls I see practicing Mondays before drop-in. She's good.

Luckily, we got a new gal who is Canadian! Woohoo! She was really good and all over the place. And hasn't played organized hockey in 15 years. You'd never know it. I swear Canadians come out of the womb already trusting their edges....

Anyway, I don't feel too awful about it. 2 bad angle goals (fixable), 1 fluky bouncy one that rolled over my shoulder, and one that just beat me glove side. Fucking glove.

I'm never writing about something I do well ever again. It invariably falls apart on me. Or maybe I'll try reverse psychology....

Boy am I good at avoiding shutouts! It really comes naturally to me! No goose eggs for me, bitches! BOOM!

Aaaand, let the experiment begin. :)

Meanwhile, I get to let someone else stop the pucks for a few days and I'm glad for that. On the docket Friday is Milwaukee vs. Chicago (in MKE), then Saturday, the MKE crew and I drive to St. Paul and catch the Wild vs. Blues. It's my first Wild game AT the Xcel, so I'm pretty jacked for that. And then Sunday afternoon is Aeros vs. Peoria at the Xcel.

The weather looks to be cold but not pound you in the ass cold and no precipitation, so that's aces. My hotel is in walking distance of the X and stumbling distance of the bars around the X, so that's also aces. It will just be nice to get outta dodge and have some fun. I haven't been drinking nearly enough lately and I can feel it in my sore shoulders.



Now I want nachos.

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On a boat... in a bad way

I wrote this whole big post yesterday after finishing up Open Net by George Plimpton looking back at how far I've come since I first strapped on the pads (as opposed to usually just being in shock and awe at how far I still have to go).

I talked about how I don't really get sore after I play like I used to and a whole list of other indignities that quietly mock a new goalie.

And I wrapped up that section of the post (I intended to just tack last night's drop-in notes to the end so I never posted it) talking about how the ONLY thing that has come naturally to me as a goalie is my orientation to the net. And that shooters have even commented on it. I always seem to know where my posts are and never get lost in space out in front of my crease.

So naturally, I'm sore, seemingly all over, today. And my angles and net awareness were absolutely GOD AWFUL last night.

Thanks, Hockey Gods. You're super funny... 

I had a bad start to the night, first of all forgetting to fill up my water bottle until everybody's already on the ice. I got to my net and thought, "Something's missing that I usually do right here...." Oh yeah, put my water bottle on top of the cage. Ha.

So I'm lumbering around getting that filled up while everybody else is either warming up on the other goalie (I saw zero warm-up shots) or on a half-hearted mission to find the pegs for my net. *grr* The other net had pegs but not mine. The rink guy can't find them, players are looking on the benches and in the scorekeeper box. They are nowhere to be found.

And of course, I'd set the net in place a little behind the line like I always do when I'm about to peg it, so by the time I got back to it and moved it up to the goal line, the ice was set and the net was sliding all over the place.

I really just couldn't use my posts at all for anything or the net was sliding a foot out of line in one direction or another.

So that rattled me and whatever natural inner net compass I have went spinning like a top. I just didn't have my bearings or any faith in where my net was. Felt like I was playing on a boat.



Not in a cool way though, mother fucker.

I know the kids have to play with the nets unpegged and man, that sucks. I feel sorry for the little bastards.

So, yeah, that was a pretty shitty night in goal. But it didn't feel like the kind of shitty that's going to leak into tonight's game. Just a weird "thrown off from the start" kinda night. I'll get a good warm-up tonight and be just fine against Captain Hat Trick and her crew of ringers. ;)

Gun Show (the hot boy who plays our drop-in) was amazed by one save I made that was pure dumb luck. They were trying to jam the puck in over my right pad next to the post and I stopped a couple of the bounces from going in. He was impressed but I wasn't even moving so it wasn't anything I did other than be in the right place. They just couldn't lift it over the pad.

But after all that suck, it was nice that someone was focused more on that one silly lucky stop than the rest of the garbage. Gun Show, to his credit, doesn't act like he's hot. He's a pretty nice guy. And also very VERY hot. And changes out in the stands with us so we get to see his big, tan muscles. Lordy. Yay for Gun Show!

Anyway, on to bigger and better things tonight. And what better way to start a fresh new day than with some JaegerPorn. O hai!

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