#postbirthdayWIN

Today was so good, I'm STARTING with the music.



One A+ happy hour at the Leaf during which I was a good girl and didn't get too happy on the booooze. I decided that a vodka cran was the most athletic drink I could think of. Clear booze and fruit juice. Can't go wrong, right?

Tangent: Of course, the first sip reminded me why I don't drink vodka crans. Relates back to a rough post-breakup night in my singleton days during which I polished off a bottle of Stoli and however much cran I had on hand while I bellyached to my friend on my phone. I'm pretty sure I turned a little bit Russian that night.

Anyway, I sucked that down while enjoying the truly charming, handsome, and wonderful company at my table. Like, really. A lot. Like, how good Halak was tonight? That's how happy my happy hour was. Snack on that, Monday! You don't win this week!

So then I jetted over to SLICE for my drop-in and was really happy with my game. Made some big big stops on some pretty good players. Of course, I got burned my fair share, too, but my play was consistent even though I was getting hammered in the second half.

I find that I earn some respect points from the hot rods by staying out to play around after the other goalie's given up and the game is over. Though after tonight's game, I was so tired, I just stayed down in the fly while they passed and I knee shuffled and tried to be on angle and as big as possible while still down. Kind of a fun experiment. The crazy thing is that I stopped all but one shot, basically just sitting on the goal line in the fly. One finally got past me high blocker side over my shoulder.

It's nice to get time like that to just goof around and everybody's just having fun and experimenting with their game. That's the good stuff to me.

And it's why I love this Monday group so much. Nobody takes themselves too seriously and that's nice because I know I play better when I'm not taking myself real seriously. It's hockey, it's fun. Lighten the fuck up.

The best was when the big guy with the hhhhheavy shot comes bearing down on little ol' tired me. He always picks the corners on me, so I jokingly put my glove and blocker up in the corners of the net, closed up my fly and tried to flare it out wide. I was basically a human shooter tutor. Ha. He's got this smug look like, "There's NO WAY you're stopping this."

Oh I totally stopped him. ;)

So, that was super fun. And I'm NOT going to Tuesday drop in. I've been feeling so shitty about my game lately, I just want to enjoy this for a few days.

Happy Motherfuckin' Birthday to me after all. Take that, 35. My big bottle of Advil and I own you.

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The Zone: I haz it!

Well, I just got done playing my best hour of hockey ever. Not to say I didn't let in a few goals but I stopped a LOT. And moreover, I stopped a lot that I normally would let in. And what's more,  I WON! I know it's just drop in but trust me, when you get blown out pretty much every week you know it, and when you blow the other guy out, you know when you won. And trust me, it counts.

I'm not even going to bother explaining why it was so good. It's doesn't matter. It's enough to say that I've never played better. I was focused and sharp, my angles were magnificent, my legs were energetic, my vision was good (which is really saying something). Have I mentioned how much I love love love my cat eye cage and will never ever ever go back to certified? EVER? EVER.

It was a beautiful thing. Not saying I was perfect. I probably still looked like a total bender, but I stopped a fuckload of shots.

And you know how I mentioned a while back how I can have, what was to me, a shitty game and people are all, "Man, you played great!" Well, tonight, I got one sort of generic "good game" from one person and that was it. The other goalie even corrected my glove placement! I wasn't looking for praise and never am, but I tend to get it anyway even when I feel I don't remotely deserve it. So, I couldn't believe it. How could you all not see how fantastic I was compared to my usual crap? LOL Weird. Just weird. But *I* know and that's all that matters. Maybe they were just pissed cuz they didn't score more. ;)

The good thing is, I'm not feeling super over the moon. It's one piddly drop in, only an hour long. I've got perspective on this thing. But that isn't stopping me from really enjoying having a good one.

Only bad thing is, I don't feel so great after. I didn't think I got hit that hard in the head, but the big guy who dented my head before put a really hard one on me that hit my mask chin and then collarbone. At the time, the pain was all collarbone (and boy did that hurt), but when I got off the ice and sat down, I realized I was a bit dizzy. And still am. I know I'm not dehydrated or low blood sugar or anything. I just feel a bit spacey. I even went the wrong way coming home. Meant to stay on 59 toward downtown and got off on 610 South. WTF? Didn't realize it until I started seeing exits for Bissonette and stuff. Ooops.

Don't feel sick or anything though, so I'm sure it's nothing or not much of anything. Maybe a little bit of shock from the collarbone hit? Man, that just hurts right to the core, like how I would imagine an electric shock feels, makes my whole shoulder and upper arm hurt, though it's getting better. But it didn't throw me off my game at all. Did hurt to cover the puck in front of me at one point. Yeesh.

Anyway, goaltending hurts sometimes and that's just how it is. I'm not complaining. Just keepin' it real, bitches. ;) It's still the funnest way ever to get yourself hurt. Back at it tomorrow night with the Koreans at Memorial City. Hopefully I'm a little fresher for that than I was last week. If I am and they need me, I might stick around and play the second drop-in. I dunno. We'll see. I could use the work.

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Goaler Plexus

I've always had really amazing friends. I think this happens because, frankly, you have to be a saint to put up with me, but also because fakers just won't pass muster. I don't have time for people I don't like, and I won't work very hard to pretend otherwise.

So, I've been blessed in the friend department. At times the numbers were thin but they were always high quality. Now I feel like I've got quality and quantity. What a lovely feeling! And that's mainly due to hockey, through which I have met a wealth of people whose very heartbeat says, "hock-ey hock-ey hock-ey," just like mine.

Many of them are goalies, because goalies somehow just find each other. It's a fraternity that I'm so proud to be a part of and on bad nights in goal, that's the group to whom I feel beholden to do better but who I know feel my pain, having been there themselves.

One of these goalie friends is Nicky and she's got a goalie friend who wrote this to her, describing her 5-1 loss the other day:

Sadly, nothing was going to salvage Sunday's game. I was *terrible*.
My luck shifted some later in the game. At one point my toe tie came unlaced, I stepped on it, fell down and landed on the puck.
Sometimes the hockey gods decide you've had enough and step in to save you from yourself.

I don't know if you guys are like me where you have a really visceral reaction to certain aspects of the position? I feel it right in the center of my chest, like where someone would poke you if they were goading you into a fight.

Anyway, I read that and felt it right in that spot. It's just heartbreaking and funny and spot on with the humility and triumph that go hand-in-hand as a goalie.

Honestly, does it get any better? I really don't think it does.

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Sad bunny finds a smile

Watching the Gold Medal game. Would have made it home without knowing the result and that would have been fun, but some jerkoff wanders up to where everyone is standing around watching the high school team before us practice, and says, "USA beat Canada in the World Juniors."

There was a collective, "AUGH, I had that DVR'd! Thanks a lot!"

Really wasn't sure how this drop-in was going to go tonight. My third game in three nights, it really wasn't feeling very important to me, and I'd spent most of the evening before hockey fighting back sad bunny tears.


Last time I played a Tuesday drop-in in the midst of a pity party for myself, I was AWFUL. I was awful and I lost my cool and I drove home... not just crying... but WAILING. It was uuuuugly.

So I was wary. I knew I needed to just get absorbed in the game and honor the experience. It helped that one of my defensemen and I were talking before the game about what a blessing it is to get to play hockey. I nearly let loose the waterworks right then and there but just agreed with him and got back to stretching.

Also probably helped that stupid skaters crashed into me not once but TWICE during warm-ups. What the hell. Raise your head occasionally, dumbass. That got the adrenaline going though.

Started the game with the much more skilled Dark team shooting on me. I stopped the first shot and it was a good one, so I felt good. And from there, I was into it big time and the good play lasted the full 15 minute shift in that net, where I stayed very busy, and resumed when I got in net at the other end against the white team.

TWO rushes in a row, the white team dinged me HARD right in the mask with their shots. One of them kinda stung but I've had worse. Didn't bother me. But on the next rush (odd man, naturally) I start screaming, "AIM FOR THE HEAD! AIM FOR THE HEAD!"

They're all like, "WTF?"

And I'm thinking, "Oh shit, girl, you act like that, you better stop this thing."

I stopped it. :)

It was awesome.

I also pulled a Brusty and poke checked the REALLY good guy on the white team so thoroughly, I kept his stick in my crease and sent him flying into the boards. He was fine and had a big grin for me when he got up. I had a big grin for him, too.

In fact, my favorite thing tonight was just making those saves, and looking right at the shooter and smiling real big at 'em.

By the time I got down to the other end for my final 15 minute shift, the white team was getting a little tired and it was a lot of odd-man rushes. I held 'em off pretty well for a while, but the last 10 minutes they figured out to shoot high glove. Goal, goal, goal, goal. Rough, but that's okay.

It's still by far the best I've played this drop-in. And it was fast fast fast. The faster it was, the better I was. When it got slower near the end and the Dark guys had time to pick their spots rather than just having to get a shot off, that's when I got roasted.

Anyway, it was a blast and really nice to string two confident nights together without cratering under the weight of my own cockiness. The goal, of course, is to be cocky all the time and be able to stand behind it. Because it's waaaaaay the fuck more fun to be a cocky goalie. Sorry. That's just me being genuine. ;)




Oh! And big ol' PS here! I figured out why my freaking right pad is always jacked up. The hard padding in the front of the right leg of my pants is maladjusted somehow so there's a big lump on the front that pushes the pad inward on my leg. I dunno why it took me this long to figure out, but I finally did while I was standing around tonight.

So I'm gonna have to do some investigation and possibly surgery on my pants the front of my right leg flat like it is on the left leg. Isn't that weird? But I'm thinking it may fix my stupid pad flip problem! That would be awesome.

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Quick Hits: Concession, Sanitization, Monovision

I'll be a good sport and concede the Super Bowl to my buddy Kevin. I spent all day watching his stupid score run up while mine sat immobile because my team didn't show up today.

I mean, to a man, they all underachieved. So, hey, sometimes it's just not your day. Pretty sure I was lucky to even get as far as I got. Head to head competition is like that sometimes, though rarely does it go quite so much in my favor.

On the plus side, I did get an EPIC nap this afternoon. Wouldn't be surprised if I whimpered and kicked my hands and feet like Major does when he's really getting his nap on. Chasing goalies? Ha.

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I also ordered up a new washer and dryer this afternoon. I used my mom's washer over Christmas and the "Sanitize" feature completely killed the funk in my chest protector, pants, and jock. And since Mr.C is forever belly-aching about my gear stinking up the garage and our current set is quite old and doesn't do all that good a job anymore, we got in on a good deal at Best Buy and got a new set.

Pretty excited about that, my friends. And I haaaate doing laundry, but I do a shit ton of it playing as much as I do. Waiting for a dryer that folds everything for me.

Total aside: OMG, this guy Keller on the Jets has the nicest ass I've seen since Aaron Voros. If I were home alone, I'd rewind and pause. If I gave a shit about football, I'd be a Jets fan now.

I feel old getting excited about a new washer. Does it make it cooler that I'm excited about it for hockey purposes?

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Speaking of old, I've got an eye doc appt out in Sugar Land on Tuesday morning. I'm kind of excited about it because this doc is supposed to be really good and I've definitely got eye issues.

They don't affect me much in normal life, but seeing the puck is kinda important and it does affect that. I found out how bad it was last year before I started playing, but the conversation went something like this with my old doc:

Me: "Soooo, my eyes are pretty messed up."
Doc: Noncommittal shrug and head bob

Me: "Well, the thing is that I'm a hockey player and I'm about to take up being a goalie, so.... you know... seeing the puck flying at me is important."
Doc: Sympathetic look

Me: *staring a hole through doc waiting for some kind of useful response*
Doc: "Here's some anti-Obama propaganda about how the Democrats are going to ruin the world. This is very serious business."

Me: "Uh huh" *mentally firing him*
Doc: "Okay, see you next year. Say hi to Mr. C!"

FAAAAAAAACK. You asshole!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have plenty to report on Tuesday, as new doc is supposed to be much better and specializes in issues with vision for, um, athletes. Cuz, you know, I pretend to be one of those.

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No hockey for me tonight still. And Aeros game tomorrow. Back at it on Tuesday with the college boy drop-in. Can't wait! (No really! I ended up having a lot of fun last week! Bitches think they can skate in close and pop one around me? Ha. POKE!)

Though speaking of hockey boys, I ran across this article on CHRIS HOLT! getting sent back down to Elmira (after tearing it up in Bingo during his AHL call-up). Here's coach Don Nachbaur:

"They've all got to play. I can't keep three guys here. It just won't work that way. It doesn't mean (Holt is) going to be down there for a long time. We know he's played real well, but we want to keep our goaltenders sharp, and inactivity, they build up rust. And with three guys, I surely can't divvy that ice time up and be fair about it.

"Chris is a young guy, and he's played really well. We know that. And we'll see where the future takes us. But I don't expect him to be down long."

Hmmmm, sounds familiar. Welcome back to Ms.Conduct's Home for Homeless Goalies, Chris. We'll say it for you: "Really? Chiodo? Over me? REALLY?" We know. We understand. There there... *huuuuuuuu.... uuuuuuuuuuu..... uuuuuuuuuug*

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AHHHHH CRAP! I lost to Bourne in hockey, too! Shit. Now I gotta pay up.

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Saying it again...

If you haven't set your Google Reader to subscribe to A Theory of Ice, which is among the most thoughtful writing about hockey you're going to find anywhere (think Ken Dryden's The Game), you're really missing out.

Don't be scared off by the long posts. They're not very frequent and they're dripping with goodness. Today's, especially, touched home on a variety of levels for me.

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I know it's just pre-season but....

CLUTTERBUTTERRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Thas right, bitches. He'll knock you into next week AND school your goalie! Awesome.

Here's his post game interview. Photos from the game.

Um, but sorry we broke your Chimera, BJs.

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Genius and Geeked

If you think I'm not doing this for the Wild or Aeros at some point, you're out of your mind. I have absolutely no time for it, but some things are worth making the time for.

Toronto Blue Jays as Miis

And on that note, we went to the Houston Museum of Natural History today to see the Terra Cotta Warriors. It was a good exhibit, even though it's not really my bag.

But what was awesome was one of the guides, who was telling a group of us some interesting things about the exhibit. This guy was SO GEEKED about this exhibit. Like, beside himself with excitement. And he works there every day, so it's not like he was just seeing it. He's just that geeked about this stuff.

And I kinda quit feeling guilty for not being that geeked about HIS thing because I'm easily that geeked about MY thing. But I appreciated that he's geeked about something. I like people for whom there's something out there that lights their fire no matter what. Passion is a beautiful thing.

He's got his warriors and I have mine. :)

Photo by Fred Trask

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Wow, happy Friday!

Things that are awesome about today:

• It's Friday
• My workout is done for the day
• My new running shoes are FANTASTIC- No pain at all while running, other than the janky hip that I already had from Sunday's practice
• I'm nice and sore from yesterday's workout
  
• Mr.C finally got some clarity around his job situation. We have a direction to go in!
• Hockey on Sunday is a game rather than a practice
• I get to go to the Isles v. Kings exhibition game in Kansas City in September... trying to figure out getting to a Wild pre-season game in St. Louis while I'm up there
  
• Someone sliced my blade tape in Sunday's practice so I get to re-tape my stick (this makes me feel like a real hockey player)

Things that would make today awesomer:

• A cold front
• Some way to make running the 3 mile Memorial Park loop more like playing hockey (OMFG, that's some boring shit)
• Getting my hip to be non-janky (send me your hip flexor potions, please)
• Chips, queso, margarita.... I said we'd eat at home tonight but I think I want to celebrate instead
• More cowbell

Alright. That's enough out of me. You kids have fun. Knees bent, stick on the ice.

Wait, this post needs music. I love Will Smith, but I think only people from the north sing songs romanticizing summertime.

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Clutter on NHL10 Cover?

And you thought my Cal for Calder campaign was wacky. Check this out:

Oh, that's hawt!

(BTW, whoever made this, drop me a note and I'll give you credit. I just plucked it out of a signature on the Wild message board.)

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FINALLY!!!

That whole "never too high, never too low" stuff you hear from the pros? That can bite me. You wanna know how much that can bite me?

I got in my car after hockey, put ALL the windows down, blasted my radio, and screamed, "WOOOOOOO!!!! F**K YEAH!!!!!!" my entire 30 minute drive home. Oh, and I can't leave out the fist pumps. Lots of fist pumping.

Why the big high?

2 goals. That's it. 2 piddly shit goals. (I believe my best game was 6 goals until tonight... BIG difference.)

Moreover, for the first time since I started playing, I felt like I contributed positively to my team's success. I helped them win, rather than them winning in spite of me. I stopped breakaways, I stopped close-in shots, I stopped the slow shit, I stopped the fast shit from the point.

I should have stopped the two I didn't. The first was one that Peed skated in on me and I was on the post and didn't go down and he just found a hole and popped it in. Shoulda had it. Hell, he was close enough, I shoulda nutted him. (KIDDING!!!! Though I was watching Flyers v. Oilers from 87 before I left the house tonight... Hextall... man, he let in a lot of goals with that stand-up style. That's hard to watch now. I would be lying to say that didn't influence me tonight. It was like looking in a safety orange mirror...)

The second, I was screened by two of my own players, and seeing that, I should have gone down immediately, but didn't. I was pissed about that one, more because I knew better and just didn't react, than I was about the screens. But that still kinda pissed me off, too. I mean, if you're gonna stand in front of me, get a stick or a skate on the son of a bitch.

But the green team was otherwise awesome in front of me. Mitch rocks!!! So much hustle! I'm a fan, buddy. Thank you!

Anyway, the final score was 5-2, though whoever was running the scoreboard put 5 goals up against me as the game was ending. Meh, whatever. I know the truth.

What's more, I had a shutout for the first 35:45. And luckily the team was good about not being too "rah rah" at me about it. I think they were thinking, "About fucking time she plays some real goal." Whatever. I'm just glad they kept away from me. And I kept talking to myself: "Stay focused. Just be in front of the puck. Don't think. Just stop pucks. Stay focused."

Admittedly, the red team didn't look all that good and the posts saved me a few times. A few unlucky bounces and the score could have easily been tied. But that's always how it is and I still get scored on a bunch, so whatever. I'll take the gift and count my blessings.

I came home and thank goodness Mr. C was still awake. I was bouncing off the walls and he was hiding under the covers. He doesn't see me this jacked very often. The last time I felt like this was the evening after we flipped our car way up in Canada and I was just so incredibly happy to be alive, I was as full of unbridled joy as I've ever been. Quite literally high on life.

One of the saves, I dunno even how it did this, but somehow it was all the way down in my leg pad. That was kinda weird but I finally managed to shake it out. My favorite, though, was a shot from the point, which I almost never see in novice. I was already down and felt like the current level of threat warranted that I stay down, so I did. I watched that thing come all the way in and covered it. It was a beauty.

My goal for tonight was just to forget all the angst and moping and feeling like shit that I've felt for the last few weeks and go back to the basics: Stop. The. Puck. I tried not to talk much before the game. Kinda just got in a pissed off mode (genuine, unfortunately, as it really feels pretty fucking awful when you get the sense that your team is giving up on you) and stayed there.

Also, chicken pot pie from Boston Market is my official pre-game meal now. I've already informed Mr.C that he better get to loving the BoMa because it's now a Sunday evening staple.

Uh, what else? I dunno. I'm just really happy. I know it won't always be this good, but I'll be honest: Tonight was the first night I've dreaded coming to the rink in the same way I used to dread it as a skater. And I really didn't want to feel that way about playing goal. I needed a personal victory very badly and I got it.

Just gotta keep building on this, keep pressing, remember that it's not easy and it's not safe and that's okay.

Meanwhile, I'm living with an ice pack strapped to my right groin. I pulled it while stretching during warm-ups and it just got worse and worse with each fly save and reach-out of my leg. We'll see what other interesting places I'm sore tomorrow once the adrenaline wears off and I've slept on it (though I'm not sure how much sleep I'll get tonight. I've been home for 2 hours and I'm still WIDE awake).

Off to the lake tomorrow to hang with Coach Stalin. Then Aeros game tomorrow night. Christ, I hope I didn't just use up all my good hockey mojo on myself. There's enough to go around, eh, hockey gods? Pretty please with a donut on top? *MWAH*

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Schadenfreude at its very finest...

Thanks to Wysh for that find. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

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Jason Shaver and how things come full circle

I finally had the pleasure of meeting Jason Shaver last night, former Aeros broadcaster and now broadcaster for the hated Chicago Wolves, though he still lives in Houston. I really enjoyed his game calls last season when all I had was radio. I could just close my eyes and watch the game in my head, which, I believe is more than B2 subscribers could see actually watching the game online.

Anyway, it was great, I learned a lot listening to him, and he's just a total pro. The games he broadcast with Schaefer and/or Brusty when they were out with injuries were the absolute best. It was like the Aeros Hockey Comedy Hour. Really great stuff. But also insightful, because goalies see the whole game unfold in front of them.

But seeing Jason reminded me of one game when Schaef was on and Shaver was taking emails with questions for him, and I was still toying with this "being a goalie" idea.

So, I emailed and explained that I'm 32 and, suddenly, I've decided that I MUST become a goalie, and did he have any tips for me.

Nolan, in his usual no-nonsense way, basically said, 'Good luck with that, crazy lady.' (Okay, that isn't an exact quote but that was the gist.) His tip was to get VERY good gear.

It told me two things:

• Never ask Nolan if these pants make your ass look big, because he's gonna tell you the truth.
• Goaltending is going to be harder that I think it is. (And it is... but it's also more fun than I thought it would be.)
  

I'll be honest, it was a little discouraging. In fact, a lot of feedback I got along the way was discouraging, so I learned to blow it off, but this one, from a goalie for whom I have tremendous respect, stuck with me. Kind of in a "I'll show you, Mr. Goalie Man" way. So, I chalk that up as a good thing.

But beyond playing goal, I'm doing lots of things now that I kinda shake my head at with wonder. Talking to people whose names I only used to read in the paper, who are the source of so much speculation among fans. So much "big stuff" is placed on their shoulders, they seem like they should be taller or more imposing, but they're just regular humans.

So, meeting Jason last night kinda felt like things coming full circle, at least in my hockey life (which, let's get real, is really kinda my whole life now). Especially in light of some other big life decisions Mr. C and I have going on.

Lots to ponder, but for now, I'm just enjoying the ride... even the bumpy parts. (Fred's totally making a dirty joke out of that. Aren't you, Fred?)

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Rob (Updated)

UPDATE: Rob, thank you so much! The jersey is gorgeous and so... CLUTTERBUCKY! I love it dearly. You're so kind to have gotten that for me. I truly thank you and cannot wait to wear it. And it fits perfectly (I really like how the CCM jerseys look on than the new ones... and yeah, I put it on and grinned at myself in my mirror for a few minutes when I got home last night).

I will find a way to get it signed, you can count on that. Surely I have enough connections by now to make that happen.

I'm so tempted to go to the Leaf on Saturday so I can watch the game and wear my new "sweater." :)
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Wow! Seriously? You're much too kind! I didn't want to approve the comment yet so that any yahoo could just come up and ask for it, but I did want to acknowledge that I read it and will be there Wednesday with bells on. That's incredibly generous! And wonderful! Thank you!

You know, I don't get paid money for anything I do related to hockey, but I can't say there's been any other time in my life where I've had so much fun or felt so fulfilled. There's a generosity of spirit in the hockey community that is unrivaled in my experience. Gushy stuff, I know, but sometimes you just have to go there.

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