Back to business...

Hope all you crazy kids had a good Christmas, or at least a good few days off if you don't roll Christian-style.

Mine was good. Very low key since we stayed home. Not a drop of hockey to play, which means I was stuck with the dreaded REAL WORKOUTS. You know how I hate that. But it's okay. Had to balance out the apple pie...

Got back in the swing of things today with the Aeros game, which you can read about here because I covered for Andrew, who was in Green Bay freezing his keister off at the Packers game.

Nice to get an early goal and a win in the skills competition.

Hackett's getting better in all areas except playing the puck. I know I'm spoiled in that regard, but he's just rough at it. The issue isn't technical skill; it's reading the ice and decision making.

Too many hesitant plays where he seems to want to defer to the skaters rather than just quarterbacking that bitch, launching it up the ice, and letting the chips fall where they may.

I know it will get better and I suspect it's something that only gets better with experience but, man, it's tough to watch. I stand by my rule of, just let the D get it if puck movement isn't in your wheelhouse as a goalie. Not every goalie has to be a third defenseman to be successful.

Anyway, check out my hack ass giving advice. Ha! Speaking of, my hack ass has got games Monday and Tuesday. Looking forward to hitting the ice again. Then only ONE game the week after. :( And then it's off to Boston/Vermont/(beyond?) the following Thursday-Tuesday, so another week without playing.

Which means more real workouts. Suckkkkk. But I'm moving to "phase 2" of my goalie training this week, so that should be fun. After I get back from my trip, I'm starting yoga for a few weeks. Got a deal for 10 hour-long yoga sessions for $30 total. What a steal. I'm looking forward to a change of pace and it looks like I'll have company from a good friend. Everything's better with Sheala. Well, everything I've tried, anyway. ;)

And luckily, goaltending has taught me the humility to not give much of a fuck when I make an ass out of myself. I've always done yoga at home with just me and the TV watching. Going public is a little daunting, but hey, we all start somewhere. If embarrassment hasn't killed me yet, it won't ever.

Read more...

Fun night but I need a nap

No wonder I'm playing so shitty. I've got this theory that everything can't possibly all go right at the same time and that there's only so much good luck to go around. And last night, the Wild won, the Aeros won, and Brusty got a shutout.

So the only logical explanation for my sieviness lately is that all those jokers are stealing my good luck. :)

It's okay though. Brusty can have all of it he wants and, the Wild and Aeros, I'll throw them the occasional bone just to keep from having to watch losing hockey all season.

I'm still recovering from information overload this morning. Between following two games I wasn't at, watching the Aeros, writing my story for the Chronicle (filled in for Andrew) between periods, praying my (and the Aeros) lead sticks and the Wolves don't come back, and then Yeo lobbing his "that game sucked" bomb at us post-game when I thought it was a pretty awesome game (WTF do I know?), it was a lot to parse.

I couldn't tell if Yeo was annoyed or amused at my dismay that he was screwing up my story. I'm just standing there with my recorder in his face with my mouth hanging open. "You just ruined all my questions by not liking that game!" Haha. Whatever though, it was a fun night and I didn't get to sleep until 3 a.m. Fuckin' exhausted at that.

Also, not that you need minute by minute updates on Operation Boob Lift, but the consult went well. Only it's costing more than I expected. Like, by a lot. Like, you could buy a decent used car. You could buy a decent NEW car for all the stuff we talked about doing (tummy tuck with lipo, etc).

I'd love to do it all, but man, even just the lift part of it seems like a selfish use of money. I dunno. Add that to my information overload yesterday, too. #msconductproblems

I actually have the night off tonight. Four of the last 5 nights, I've gotten home after 11:30. I love it all but I'm definitely due for some "kickin' around the house" time.

Gonna try and do my full hour of physical therapy today, too. Been trying to build back up to it a bit since my knee is bothering me so much. Hopefully I can get the knee happier and then I can start doing the awesome Rapid Response Goalie Training program I picked up the other day. Want to be doing it by January.

But that means getting off my ass. When what I really want is lunch and a nap.

Read more...

I love Mondays!

So, I'm not much of a goal setter. That's so Type A. I figure, if I want something and something is meant for me, it will happen, or it won't. So far so good with that strategy, but then I don't run with the high-flyers much, so I guess to each her own.

However, I really really REALLY wanted to be in the main rotation for my Monday night drop in. I've been playing this drop in for probably 6 months and it's always been on an "emergency" basis, where the regularly scheduled person couldn't come or whatever and I don't find out I'm needed until Friday or the weekend or even Monday.

But now I've got an actual schedule for the month. I'm pleased as punch. Only thing better would be if I could play every week, but I'm sure the occasional break from it will make me appreciate it more.

---------------------

This is my only night off this week. I'm ordering pizza. Pepperoni, sausage, and pineapple like I've been craving for 2 weeks. Then I'm watching hockey. But first....

---------------------

Coach Scotty tells me it's time to shift from playing hockey to work out to working out to play hockey.

I'll tell ya, I hate working out. That's why I love hockey so much. Because it never feels like a workout. It feels like playing a game during which I get very sweaty and earn cheeseburgers.

Crunches and pushups feel like a goddamn workout and I don't like them. But I know I need to do it. So, before the pizza and before the hockey, I'll do some core and upper body work. Especially since I'm not playing until maybe Tuesday, if at all this week, so I gotta do something.

But I insist on hating it every step of the way, because that seems productive.

-----------------------------

I wrote about Darcy Kuemper's pro debut last night and I kinda like how it turned out. Go read it. If you want.

He's a cute kid, but for 20, I do mean kid. He'll be getting carded until he's 35. He's tall (have a cheeseburger tho, honey) but just a baby face. So young that I would actually feel creepy being attracted to him, so lucky you, Darce, you're off the hook. You landed in the "Maternal" bucket rather than the "Lusty" bucket. Phew. Frankly, I'm a little worn out from all the unrequited lust this year. It takes a toll on a girl.

-------------------------------

Alright fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Off to work out. *gag*

Read more...

Shakabuku and training update

I'm sitting in the middle of my living room floor, finished with the back, shoulders and arms portion of my workout. Between watching episodes of 30 Rock on Hulu and various other distractions, I'm 2 hours into this workout now. ADD much?

And I've still gotta do abs. There's another hour, IF I focus. But I got Shakabuku in my head and sometimes the only thing to do about that is to blog it. So there ya go. The Shakabuku clip from Grosse Pointe Blank. You youngsters out there, if you haven't seen GPB, go rent it. Great movie.

Usually I'm only thinking that word when I need a little Shakabuku of my own. *sigh*

------------------------------

In other news, I'm trying something new. I'm no longer taking Monday's off from workouts, because a) I'm not as tired on Mondays as I used to be (hey, this working out thing works!) and b) I lose my momentum and can't get geared up again until Wednesday or Thursday.

So I ran yesterday. At noon. In 100 degree heat. And easily 80% humidity (it was gross). Because I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't do it at all. The good thing is that because the sun came out, I found the will to do more running to get to the next shady spot.

And more hot guys had their shirts off, and they were moving a bit slower than usual, so I had a fighting chance to keep up. I wasn't moving any slower, because I really CAN'T move much slower and still call it running, so, ya know--Win, win!

The best news is that I've got a date to get my drink on with Amanda tomorrow night at the Leaf. No hockey on the TVs, but as long as they keep filling up my Blue Moon glass and giving me orange wedges and as long as Amanda just nods and smiles while I drunkenly air my grievances and try to avoid crying about them, I'll be golden. Yay fun!

Okay, back to Abs. At this rate, dinner will be a glass of milk in bed.

Read more...

Wow, happy Friday!

Things that are awesome about today:

• It's Friday
• My workout is done for the day
• My new running shoes are FANTASTIC- No pain at all while running, other than the janky hip that I already had from Sunday's practice
• I'm nice and sore from yesterday's workout
  
• Mr.C finally got some clarity around his job situation. We have a direction to go in!
• Hockey on Sunday is a game rather than a practice
• I get to go to the Isles v. Kings exhibition game in Kansas City in September... trying to figure out getting to a Wild pre-season game in St. Louis while I'm up there
  
• Someone sliced my blade tape in Sunday's practice so I get to re-tape my stick (this makes me feel like a real hockey player)

Things that would make today awesomer:

• A cold front
• Some way to make running the 3 mile Memorial Park loop more like playing hockey (OMFG, that's some boring shit)
• Getting my hip to be non-janky (send me your hip flexor potions, please)
• Chips, queso, margarita.... I said we'd eat at home tonight but I think I want to celebrate instead
• More cowbell

Alright. That's enough out of me. You kids have fun. Knees bent, stick on the ice.

Wait, this post needs music. I love Will Smith, but I think only people from the north sing songs romanticizing summertime.

Read more...

A little check-in on the off-ice training front (and back)

I wish I could always feel like I do after a big sugar-and-caffeine-laden mocha. I'm ready to write a book or run a marathon or something. Instead, I'll just write a rambling blog.

Had a great workout yesterday. Actually got almost as much done as I wanted to. The only thing I didn't do was stretch after, and boy did I regret that when I woke up at 1:30 with my knee stiff and burning. Crap. Lesson learned (again... I'm so fucking hard-headed).

Beyonce... JHMFC, look at those legs. You're welcome, boys. If this isn't inspiration to work those squats, I dunno what is.


I've added some new stuff to my workout that I'm really feeling in my hips and quads and butt, which is awesome.

• Those goalie squats like I posted about the other day, except I'm adding 18 lbs of weights, right now just for the last set, but I'll work up to all 3 sets and more weight.
• Then single leg squats, like this, except without the weights. I'll work up to that. My weak leg really really hates these. Mommy!
  
• And then wide-stance squats. They're a lot harder than they look. Like this but, for now, without the weights. Er, and not quite so deep or I'd be rockin' it like the Life Alert lady. Ouch.
  
• Also using a resistance band to work the adductors, though I'm not sure I'm hitting the right note there. That's the only one that didn't feel so effective. Anybody got any killer groin isolating moves for me? And for most of you, I don't mean that in a "make a sexy-time" way. Wahwahwoo. Is a'very nice.
• Haven't added much new stuff ab-wise. Just upping the reps. Though I can finally do floor sit-ups with my knees up at 90 degrees. Couldn't even do one of those a couple of months ago.
• Adding in some bicep and shoulder work. I figure I won't let my glove hand 'drag' so much if my arms are stronger. Take a moment to marvel at my genius for figuring that out after 7 months of playing goal.

Finished?

Okay.

Haven't gotten back to running, though I probably could have this week, but I realized I have absolutely no business running in my current pair of shoes. They're the ones I wore for about half my training and the marathon I walked two years ago, and they've been my primary sneakers ever since. The tread is worn off completely on the ball of the foot and I'm sure the cushioning is shot.

So, I ordered some new ones yesterday. Got lucky and found a pair of last year's model (one version up from the ones I'm wearing now--NB 1061) for around $60 shipped. New model would have cost $120. Yay for that. Anyway, I'm dreading getting back to running, so for the first time ever, I'm hoping shipping is snail-like. I kinda hope they don't get here until October when it starts to cool down. (Update: Well, damn. Dear Ms.Conduct: The following New Balance merchandise has shipped via United Parcel Service (UPS).)

Anyway, if you made it this far, kudos. I know it's boring reading about somebody else's training but it helps me be a little more accountable to put it out there. Though I'm sure I lost everyone with a penis up there at Beyonce's thighs. Can't say I blame you.

Happy weekend, folks.

Read more...

My new occupation

Doing this over and over and over and over. Oh yeah, baby. (For some reason the link to the site isn't working right now... not sure what's up.)

Give me a month and I'll be cracking coconuts between my thighs.

Read more...

3 a.m., then 7 a.m.

Woke up before my alarm this morning, so I've got some time to kill before I head to the 4:45 a.m. stick and puck and FINALLY put skate to ice for the first time in almost two weeks. Not sure who will be there since Scott TFCG (as a refresher, that's The Fucking Canadian Goalie) and his family are up in Alberta rolling with their Canadian homies. I'm jealous. Bet it's not 104 outside there, eh?

But I mainly want to work on stuff by myself, maybe see a few shots. I don't feel a huge obligation to be a target for anyone at this particular stick and puck because I'm not paying less than anyone else, so I should get to do whatever I need to do. I'm selfish and I like it, bitches.

The bum knee is feeling better in tiny measures. It's not waking me up when I turn over in bed anymore, so that's a nice thing. I bought a Cho-pat strap to wear and see if it helps. Kinda doubt it but it's worth a shot.

Anyway, thought I'd give a little round up of cool shit:

Justin Bourne, aka Big Tunafish, has new digs at his blog and even offered up some video in honor of the occasion. You know how someone will remind you of someone else but you can't figure out who? I'm having that problem after seeing that video. It will come to me at some really inappropriate time today.
~~~~~

One of my very favorite times of the off-season is Wild Development Camp week. All the adorable behbehs roll into St. Paul and get run ragged by Constantine, get coaching on stuff like nutrition, strength training, power skating, and dealing with the media, and generally just run around being adorable.

There's always lots of video and "blogging" and whatnot and the boys are so much sillier and funnier when they're younger. I guess guys get bored and jaded by cameras in their faces after a while and they learn all the cliches and how willing the media are to accept them. Anyway, it's just sweet and you want to pinch their cheeks and give them $10 to buy some candy.

And it's even more the case this year with Colton Gillies as sort of the elder statesman and spokesmodel of the bunch. Kid is straight up goofy and completely unaffected. I adore him, and while the shredded wheat side of me very much wants him to stay in the NHL and not experience the disappointment of getting cut from training camp after already having spent a year with the big club... the frosted side of me really wants him in Houston so I can have him for myself. (Update: I'm mean, seriously! Read this!)

Here's Colt and the boys learning to cook. Apparently freshly drafted goalie Darcy Keumper tried to burn the building down. Can't take goalies anyplace nice.


~~~~~

My girl over at Getting Pucks Deep did her own hot goalie countdown. She even managed to make Flower look hot. I guess flash enough muscles at me and the giant chicklets aren't such an issue.

You can watch it at her site or watch it here and also see the effervescent Wrap Around Curl's disagreement with the ranking. These are important things we debate, people. Screw the economy and world issues. Hot goalie rankings are the new McLaughlin Group.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, back from stick and puck. There were 6 kids there and several adults. I stopped almost all of the adult shots and almost none of the kid shots. I fucking hate these little kids.

My time in net for them didn't last long. I let them all put a puck in on me 5-hole and then I retreated to the dark end of the ice to work on my own shit.

Can't say I worked hard particularly, but I did make some progress in terms of sort of thinking through why certain things aren't working for me. Like, even just recovering from the butterfly. Nobody ever told me that if I lean forward when I'm getting up and just recover to my stance, it's a lot easier. Maybe I shouldn't have needed to be told that, but being a naturally less athletic person, yes, some things do need to be spelled out in crayon for me.

I tried to slide in the butterfly. I can't do it any better than the first day I got out on the ice after I got my leg pads. I might as well be in sand. What's silly is that I can actually get a pretty good slide in just a knee-shuffle kinda move because my weight is distributed evenly. Somehow I can't seem to get my weight even (this was something I learned watching Brusty's camp) and push off and actually get somewhere.

And I worked on the hybrid/tight to the post save. Even though the rink people were too lazy to put the other net out so I was tight to the air next to the dark spot on the ice where the post sits... but still, I have a better feel for it, so that's good.

I also worked on moving the puck some more. Still suck at that. And I worked on backwards skating quite a lot, which I'm getting MUCH better at.

Most of all, I reassured myself that I can still skate after 2 weeks off the ice. And that it's still fun. As long as those kids aren't shooting on me.

Oh, but I had a Ms.Conduct Moment of OHSHIT Panic. One of the parents out there... I'm standing in the net taking a few shots and I look up at his face and I swear on my Nonnie's grave, it was Benoit Pouliot.

If my skull and mask were see-thru, you'd have seen my gears go into overdrive at that moment. Like, "Oh fuck, he's here to take my head off for all the mean things I've said about him. But, that's stupid. He's in Canada or St. Paul but certainly isn't in Houston paying for stick and puck at the mall rink at 5 a.m. on a Saturday with a little kid. But shit, that sure looks like him. And he's got some crazy European looking sweater on (and it looks appropriate, so I know I'm on target with my notion he should be playing in Europe), but so does the kid he's with, so, no, this can't be him."

And then he shot the puck. Right into my blocker. And again, blocker. And again, blocker. At which point, I decided it wasn't him because Ben would be shooting it right into my belly. :)

Goddamn, I love my blocker side. Even got my glove on a couple, so I think the catch I've been playing with Mr.C is helping. But I love my blocker side. I should take it out for ice cream later.

Anyway, enough of this. I've been promised french toast with fresh strawberries at my favorite breakfast place, Buffalo Grill. Go ahead and be jealous. It's the tastiest breakfast EVER.

Next up: Game tomorrow night. And hopefully redemption for the big bag of suck I left out there two weeks prior.

Read more...

Hockeyless Sunday

Feels weird to have a Monday without the usual post-game analysis from Sunday night. I did enjoy a Sunday without butterflies in my tummy and constant monitoring/massaging of my mental state and worrying about what to eat for dinner so I won't barf it up.

I used to wonder if goalies started off crazy or became crazy as a hazard of the job. I think it's both. You just become a different kind of crazy.

I was pretty good about working out this week. Something was sore pretty much all the time. My knee still feels like shit but I accidentally did a little experiment. On Friday and Saturday, I used my Stretch-a-flex (don't laugh, it's awesome once you get used to it... I hear that even Jukka Ropponen had Nik Backstrom using it during summer training) to really give my groins, quads, hamstrings a big stretch.

For the first time in a while, I didn't wake up at 4 a.m. with my knee throbbing either night (I also started wearing a knee brace to bed... I flop around a lot in the summer trying to stay cool and thought maybe I was hurting it in the process).

But yesterday, I gave my legs a break and just did some Wii boxing and tennis and then played catch with Mr. C, so I didn't stretch. I wore the knee brace to bed but, yet again, I woke up at 4 a.m. with my knee aching.

So, I guess I'm Ms. Stretchy for the foreseeable future.

I also realized that one of the things I'd quit doing since My Coaching Staff ramped up my training was yoga. I know that when I do yoga regularly, my knees crunch less and I'm more limber, so I need to fit that back in a couple of times a week.

The thought I'm left with now is, do I seriously have to work out 2 hours a day to be a beer league goalie?

I think the answer is: When you don't start until you're 33, yes.

COME ON!






In other news:

I'm still watching other teams sign guys for their AHL clubs. The Wolves/Thrash organization is scaring me the most thus far. If they can get their chemistry better, they're going to be a real pain in the ass this season. Especially if the Aeros don't sign a few ringers pronto. I know there's management transition to deal with but seriously... let's go get a few free agents, please.

I wasn't too sure about The Zombie Kopitar but this video endears me. I love his dad.


But I still wanna be Sarah Spain when I grow up. Dammit. She's fucking fabulous.


It's supposed to rain today. If you haven't been in Houston for the last month, you can't properly appreciate the pleasure that will bring the city. But trust me, it's a shit load of pleasure.

Read more...

Goalie camp; Havlat gone Wild

So, I've had a little surprise bit of fun and learning this week on the goaltending front. I've been heading out to SLICE to watch a goalie camp going on there each night this week and luckily, the main instructor is quite loud so I've been able to pick up some good stuff and, delightfully, not actually have to do the sweaty work. (Don't worry, my time will come.)

And work it is... these kids are working their tails off and seem to be pretty coachable. Unlike some people who are of an age where being told what to do just pisses them off. *looks around innocently* I'm happy to sit in the stands, enjoy the frosty air, and take a lot of mental notes. Plus, even the littlest of the kids out there would make me look like an idiot. I spend enough time doing that already.

I'm picking up some good stuff though. Things I hadn't really thought about because I'm still so in a place where even the basics of the position are really challenging. Like stick position when dealing with passes out from the corners to the front of the net.

Tuesday, I had to laugh because one of the things the instructor pointed out was to not "admire" your rebounds into the corners. I'm SO guilty of that. Like, I'm still so amazed when I actually get in front of a puck that unless the next danger is really on top of me, I do tend to just watch it go and not follow it and get re-set.

Amazing the number of little details are involved in playing goal well. I'm so busy with the low-hanging fruit still, I can't even absorb some of it in a useful way.

Here's the thing about goaltending. People who don't know the position think that getting hit with the puck is the sickest, craziest, hardest part of the job. I'm here to tell ya, for me, it's the LEAST hard part of the job. In fact, it's my favorite part of it! Means I made the save if it's hitting me that hard. Pain goes away. Goals don't. The worst pain is the crick in your neck as you watch the puck go in your net.

The hard part, at least physically, is the movement. There's so much leg and core strength you have to have (and I don't have yet) that is critical to movement in the crease. And I think one of the best things I'm coming away from this camp with is big time motivation to build that strength. In fact, I'd say that is my #1 training priority, above all else.

Which is awesome because when I look at how much I need to learn, it overwhelms me to the point where I end up doing nothing at all. Kinda like when you're $100k in debt... what's another grand? So, gaining some clarity around my training priorities has been a tremendous benefit.

As a result, I've ramped up my off-ice work and hope to get it even more focused over the next couple of weeks as I figure out the best ways to kick my own ass. Which also means I'm not sleeping well because I'm so sore all the time. But it's a good sore (except for my stupid motherfucking knee that feels like it's on fire when I wake up in the morning).

Found an amazing collection of strength training exercises here, grouped by sport (including hockey!) or by muscle group.

Anyway, one more night of goalie camp tonight, but before that... more squats, lunges, and abs!

Did I mention Brusty's one of the instructors? What a sight for sore eyes. And hey, it's totally not stalking if you're invited!

---------------------------------

Free Agency opened up yesterday. Were you aware of this? Apparently it's kind of a big deal. :)

Anyway, Gaborik is now a Ranger, which will be fun to watch. Marty Havlat was dissed (and is tres bitter about it) by Chicago, so he signed with the Wild last night. That'll show 'em, Marty! It's one gimpy sniper for another, but I already like Havlat better than I ever liked Gaby. Nothing aloof about a guy who tweets his displeasure at the way his former team treated him. Bring it, bitches! Can't wait to play Chicago next season...

And maybe, being a fellow Czech, he'll be a good example for Cracksquirrel. Oh, who am I kidding?

I'm also pretty excited about the Wild signing Greg Zanon from Nashville. Apparently he's a shot blocking FREAK, which is totally the way to my goalie-lovin' heart. And we didn't have to give up Ryan Jones to get him! Go Fletch go!

Hopefully some moves to benefit glorious hockey team Houston Aeros will come in the next few days. I see that the Ottawa organization has already started picking up some free agent help for the farm, so I'm getting antsy on that front. Shocker, I know.

Read more...

Clutterbuck article; Saturday morning pre-dawn stick and puck

Got this article from Google Alerts today on what Clutterbutter's been up to in Welland. The line that made me laugh was, "And according to the NHL, Clutterbuck led the league in hits, too."

Like that information would ever be according to anybody else. Or like it's an opinion or something. I dunno. That kinda made me chuckle. But maybe I'm just in a mood to pick on someone after getting my ass kicked by a 7-year-old girl this morning.

Went to a 4:45 a.m. stick and puck with Scott TFCG and a couple of his kids. The kids' coach and his daughter were there, too. Well, the daughter, Ava, is a freaking mercenary. She's a damn good little skater and would run circles around a bunch of people in novice league. Very agile. Also a quick shot, and she can put it pretty much anywhere.

What I'm saying, of course, is that the little [darling] lit me up and lit me up GOOD this morning. Of course, I was taking it easy and really trying to avoid going down too much to try and not anger my knee too badly. Just wanted to get on the ice, get a sweat up, test the knee out a bit, so it's alright. I wasn't going full bore and didn't want to. But she still woulda lit me up. No doubt about it.

Just doing my part to boost the confidence of Houston's hockey youth. And BTW, it's no secret that kids aren't really my bag, but I love Scotty's kids. They're cool. And they whine at him just like I do. Now I see how he puts up with me. I feel like I have siblings now. Maybe you can get a tax deduction for me, too, Scooter!

Owen thanked me for letting him score, so his dad will let him eat. LOL Awesome. I love it.

Anyway, in spite of the humbling, and the aching knee, and the ungodly hour, I had fun. And I figured out what's tweaking the shit out of my knee. It's when I get up, obviously I'm putting most of my weight on the vertical leg, but leveraging the "down" leg a bit to push up. And that's straining the medial ligaments in my knee.

So, it's good that I've figured out what's causing the problem. Part of the solution is to work on getting up with my non-dominant leg more often, so the effort is spread across both legs. And obviously get lighter and stronger. *sigh* What a process. Couldn't I have had a dream of being... I dunno, something lazier? But noooooo, gotta be a goalie. Pfft. Sorry, knees.

Got some yard-type crap to do this morning and then taking it easy the rest of the day. There will be a nap. Then taking Coach Stalin to her C league game tonight. Will be fun to just relax and watch some hockey. I don't get to do that too often anymore.

Read more...

Lazy? I'll show you lazy, mister.

Well, it was a practice tonight, and I knew as soon as I hit the ice, my head, heart, and body just weren't in it like they needed to be.

My energy was lower than usual due to the hard workout yesterday with Coach Stalin (and if you haven't figured out, my energy baselines pretty low anyway because I'm a lazy schmuck), my head was not in the right place, I hadn't eaten right/enough during the day because I was more nervous than usual for some reason. My focus and mental sharpness just weren't there. I felt myself getting confused easily, losing sight of the puck, and having nothing extra to give. Just shit like that that makes for a frustrating outing.

Did 30 minutes of scrimmage after the practice and I let in two goals (but didn't see many shots at all). The first one, I was screened and down and the puck was ping-ponging around and I lost sight of it and it skipped past me glove side.

The second was a shot from the top of the slot and I was smack in the middle of the paint, way too deep for a shot like that. I went down but because I wasn't cutting off the angle enough, it went in just inside the post. If I'd been out at the top of my crease, that wouldn't have gone in.

I was playing too deep all night, which I think was indicative of my lack of mental "glue"... like Scott's talking at me and I know what I need to do, but nothing is sticking. I'm just falling back and falling back. Very frustrating.

Anyway, I'll do better next week. Gotta!

My XM radio was being cruel to me on the way home and not playing anything I wanted to crank up and jam to, as is my usual post-hockey habit. But then my Brusty song came on, so that made up for the overabundance of Kanye West and other crap. Enjoy:



Oh, and Kiss Me Through the Phone has been blown out of the water as the dumbest fucking song ever. The new king of the shitmountain: Birthday Sex.

I mean, seriously. Was that inspired by Dick in a Box? Go to GoalieMonkey.com and order me a new chest protector with decent bicep protection. That's what I want for my birthday. Then we can talk about shooting 5-hole.

Read more...

Running

Get used to this. I'm gonna be whining a lot about running because I hate it. And I know, a better person would try to put on a happy face and force themselves to at least SAY they like it even if they're lying to themselves.

Well, I spent a year training to walk half marathons and then a full marathon and I spent that year convincing myself that it was fun, when it plainly was not. The blisters, the swollen feet, the chronic tendinitis. Yeah. Great fun. Pfft.

So, I'm not lying to myself anymore. Running sucks and I hate it. But I'm doing it because I want to be a better goalie and being a good goalie is fun at its absolute zenith for me. So it's 3 hours of complete shitpuppetry in my week in exchange for up to a week of glowing self-worship for having played a great game Sunday night. A fair trade IMO.

Anyway, you know my idea yesterday about wanting to run behind shirtless Clayton Stoner? Well... I was with Coach Stalin yesterday, so I couldn't fully put the plan into operation, but I did do a few little Beefcake Fartleks and I'm here to tell ya, eye candy does make running slightly less sucky. Well, at least it makes me forget how sucky it is.

Only problem is that the hot ones are also pretty zippy. I, OTOH, am a turtle. So as quickly as they ease my pain, they are out of range again. *sigh*

This is all really neither here nor there. I'm just killing time before hockey and trying to figure out something bland to have for dinner. Baked potato from Wendy's is probably what it's going to end up being. My chicken pot pie from Boston Market let in a bad goal last week, so it's out of the rotation for a little while. Take that, chicken pot pie!!!

Read more...

Fresh New Season

So... here it is. The sweaty season. Well, the sweatiest of the three sweaty seasons in Houston. But that's okay because we have a truly beautiful season of hockey to look back on.

And a sure-to-be-laughably-lame awards show in a few days, followed by the fresh meat parade draft a few days later. Then free agency and signings along the way and a new coach for the Wild and ... whatever that entails for Houston... and so forth.

Never a dull moment.

At least that's what I'm telling myself. Is it working on you as well as it's working on me?

Yeah.

So, anyway, my kindred spirit over at Getting Pucks Deep posted this of her lovely Flower, and I had to laugh at what he said his thought was in the amazing final seconds of last night's victory:



As any of my defensemen can attest, I say all of two things when it gets frantic in my paint (was gonna say "gets hairy in my crease" but... no):

SHIT!

SHIT!

SHIT!

and if I've lost sight of the puck:

WHERE IS IT?

Only once has someone had the wherewithal to give me an answer. I think it might have been Mitch, actually. All I know is whoever it was got a stick on it and took it out of the zone, god bless 'em.

------------

I cannot fail to congratulate the Hershey Bears who won the Calder Cup last night. I feel badly for them that the games were scheduled the same night, because it does steal their thunder a bit, but it's no less of an amazing achievement and I couldn't be more delighted to see the Moose lose almost in exactly the fashion they beat the Aeros. Enjoy the golf, hosers.

Keep an eye on Neuvirth. And someone tell me how to pronounce his name.

------------

Alright. Coach Stalin is dragging me out to run AND do abs. Why do I agree to these things? I better be a goddamn fucking good goalie one of these days as a result of this crap or I'm gonna be pissed.

It was 100 degrees on the bank sign we drove past at 2 this afternoon. It's gotta be at least 95 still. I'm full of seething hate at the thought of having to get out in it.

I'm jealous of the hockey boys who get to train in more forgiving climates in the summer. Must find a way to get a summer home someplace pleasant.

Okay okay. Going to get changed. *hmph*

Read more...

Game 7 and other crap

I really don't have much of a personal investment in the game tonight, but I am enjoying watching my friends and acquaintances who have a rooting interest just giddy with excitement and nervousness. I remember that feeling. Nothing like a Game 7 for all the marbles.

I'm excited about the game but also a bit melancholy. Until now, I could tell myself "hockey season isn't REALLY over yet," but as of this time tomorrow... baby, it's ovah.

The good thing is that maybe things can get moving on the coaching front in Minnesota. Boy is that taking forever, but that's okay. Take your time and get it right, Fletch.

I was listening to XM Home Ice yesterday afternoon and they were raving about all the effort Joe Nieuwendyk put into selecting Crawford as the new coach in Dallas. My jaw was in my lap hearing that. The guy's been the GM for 23 minutes and he's already tossed a great, winning coach for an iffy losing coach? Yeah, that's super work.

The proof will be in the pudding, of course, and I am, frankly, almost always wrong when I look into my hockey crystal ball and try to predict the outcome of a move like this. Maybe Crawford's style of play will finally get those Dallas "fans" in the lower bowl to cheer for something other than goals.

Anyway, as I've been telling my token Pens fan friend, Kevin, his team has been growing on me. They have more personality than I realized. And it seems Detroit actually has LESS, which I didn't think was possible. They remind me of these hockey players in Strange Brew:



So, Coach Stalin is coming over and we're ordering up a batch of wings to have for dinner. That seems appropriate.

Saturday, Mr.C is heading for London for a couple of weeks, so if anybody wants to go to the Leaf and buy me some beer, my schedule is wide open darlings. :D

--------------------

There's a Clutterbuck Facebook fan page that you should go join if you're a Facebooker.

Otherwise, it's been pretty quiet on the Clutter front. I know he did some charity hockey game up in Welland and he's slated to be on the Wild Road Trip or whatever they call it where they drag players around Minnesota when they should be home resting up (kidding, it's awesome. I'm just jealous.)

I sure miss the guy though. The smirk, the crashing. I was watching something the other day that showed him doing that little shoulder shimmy before one of his fights this season. That still makes me laugh out loud. Who has more fun? Nobody, I tell ya.

--------------------

So, you know I'm on this workout regimin from Coach Stalin. Running and abs. Well, I hate running. Like, I HATE it. But I'm trying and I know it will get better. As with all things athletic for me, it's requiring a lot more patience and diligence than I naturally bring to the table.

I don't mind the abs so much because there's lots of lying around involved in that, which is my favorite kind of exercise. Plus, I got a new fitness ball, which is plenty big and isn't killing my back like my smaller one did.

I have a little mental trick I use to keep myself going when I "don't wanna," but it's kind of insulting to a player I love, so ask me about it offline and I might tell you. Heh.

What I really need when I run, though, is to have a fox like Clayton Stoner running in front of me. Shirtless. If you think I won't run hard enough and long enough to maintain visual contact with that, you just don't know me very well. I'll chase that until I face-plant in the gravel from exhaustion.

Hey, there's a summer moonlighting idea for you boys... I might actually pay money for a service like that. Sort of like the rabbit in a dog race...

Anyway...

--------------

No stick and puck for me this week. The new schedule at the Aerodrome kinda sucks and there's a camp going on at Space City. SLICE stick and pucks are too crowded and I loathe playing half-ice. So, alas, I have lots of pent up puck-stopping in me that will have to wait until Sunday.

Maybe I'll grab a public skate at Memorial City today since I haven't done any footwork drills in a long time. Yeah.

----------------

That's all. Go Pens. Have a great weekend!

Read more...

Coach Stalin Out-Stalined Herself

So, I'm not sure I've blogged about this yet, but there's a conspiracy going on between Scott TFCG and Coach Stalin to get me to be not quite such a sucky goalie.

I love them both for it. I'm certainly not one of those "self-starters" who gets off on torturing myself with exercise, so I need someone to push the buttons and get me going. In fact, apparently, I need TWO people.

Coach Stalin is in charge of off-ice training. And she has started me on a running program 3 times a week, and on non-running days, she's got me doing ab work. Yay.

We had our first ab session yesterday and while it was strenuous at points, I thought, "Oh, it won't be so bad tomorrow."

Well, 8 a.m. arrived today (after an evening of swilling beer and beer-related concoctions) and I knew before I even got out of bed that I was Oh So Wrong. And I've been grunting around all day as a result. My back hurts, my neck hurts, my abs hurt in places I didn't know I had abs, my goddamn armpits hurt... And I have Scott coming to torture my lower half tonight at hockey practice.

So, it's all good, but man am I in a world of hurt today. I just hope I can balance on my skates with every last one of my core muscles in revolt. At least my legs feel good. For now.

Read more...

Braindump, mostly re: goaltending; plus a little Cal

I'm getting excited about a weekend full of delicious, nasty hockey. You know it's gonna be nasty, right? I-10 rivals, a San Antonio team with nothing to lose, an Aeros team with everything to lose.

Plus, my first Aeros away game. And possibly some Beaver Nuggets. FTW.

---------------

I've been thinking a lot about Sunday still. I've over feeling sorry for myself and am ready to go again. No game on Sunday due to Easter, but I'm going to stick and puck on Monday with one of my novice teammates.

I was telling Coach Stalin (who is now cast-free and ready to go get her skating legs back next weekend!) about it and I heard myself say, "I'm terrified." But I realized as I was saying it, no I'm not terrified. I'm just anxious; maybe a little nervous, but mostly I'm just ready to go. Ready to do better. Ready to prove myself to myself again.

I've also been thinking about why I've been letting so many in lately, what is freezing me up, making me so fucking crazy out there. I think part of it is that I know my D is purposly playing "soft" so that a) the red team gets more shots on goal and b) I see more rubber.

But knowing this, I'm spending ridiculous amounts of mental power analyzing them. "Are they getting this or are they gonna let me deal with it?" "What are they doing?" "Don't play HIM soft! For shit's sake!" Instead of just being ready for the puck, no matter what's going on in front of me. Trying to figure out my defense AND the offensive play coming my way. That's waaaaaay too much noise to have in my head during a game. Any wonder I haven't been able to process all that in time to react.

So anyway, hopefully this bit of awareness will help me shut those thoughts down and just do whatever I have to to keep the puck out of the net.

---------------------

Been meaning to talk about my off-ice workouts a bit since I'm ramping that up lately. Not that anybody but me cares. It's just good to talk this stuff out sometimes.

Anyway, I took Monday and Tuesday off. Monday because I always take Monday off. Tuesday because I was lazy and still pouting. At least I'm honest, right?

But yesterday I did both my yoga flexibility video and the shorter of my new Pilates DVDs to get some extra core work. It's not as intensive as I'd like, but I was also talking to Coach S last night about how to recreate some of the tougher core challenges I face in goal, so I may supplement on my own.

The worst one for me is when I'm flat out on the ice, belly down, and then having to get upright on my knees again. I find that strains my abdominals and upper quads and is more difficult for me than I'd like. So, we've worked out something I'm going to try this evening after I do my Stretch-a-flex and Pilates videos.

I do find that I'm getting more flexible all the time but I'm still not close to what I would call "flexible" by goalie standards. I've gotta keep working on strengthening my groin muscles, while also keeping them limber. I need to put a routine together specifically for that. Maybe do that in lieu of Pilates after my main workout every other day.

That's the thing with training for this... I am so behind the curve in nearly every way coming from an endurance sport previously, it's a little overwhelming figuring out what to work on each day without feeling guilty for neglecting something else. I need to work on aerobic conditioning (usually a 3 mile run/walk around Memorial Park or spinning), flexibility, core strength, upper body strength, explosiveness (plyometrics), balance, hand/eye coordination... That doesn't even include the up-and-downs, the skating and footwork drills, stick handling, or the actual tending of goal.

How do I fit all that in, in meangingful amounts, without making it a career? I honestly don't know and I've been trying for a year to figure it out. So, I'm just doing the best I can. And speaking of which, it's getting to be that time.

------------------

Just one more thing: Speaking of the best, here's the Wild's Hit Leader tribute video for Cal. Awesome.

Read more...

You know it's bad when they quit keeping score

At least it wasn't JUST my awful play that resulted in Coach Dan and Ref Luther deciding to employ the mercy rule and quit keeping score. The final tally on the board was 12-9, green team, but it felt more like 17-13.

I let in some real stinkers. Like the dump in from the point that I thought was going to go wide and it bounced in off the far post. That one came right after some other goal. Can't even remember how the one before went in, but the next shot came quickly after and I made a great save. This was the third period and I was pretty fired up and really needed a save to pick me up. Pretty sure what came out of my mouth was something along the lines of, "HELL YEAH!!! TAKE THAT, BITCHES!" I mean, I belted that shit out. I was obnoxious. It felt gooooooood. I'm definitely out of the running for the Lady Byng though.

And on that note, I'm finding I'm not the classiest goalie ever. Between that and my new-found urge to slash the person who scored on me if they're close enough... I worry myself a little. But then I tell myself, it's just emotion and passion, baby. I love this game and I love this position. It's unreal. But Jesper's knees were in grave danger on several of the 5(?) goals he scored on me. Scotty, remember our discussion last week where I thought I kinda had a bead on Jesper's style? F**k that noise. He murdered me.

Jessica got a couple but I stopped her quite a few times, too. Including a really funny one where I could see she didn't *quite* have control of the puck as she was coming in on a breakaway, but she was gonna reign it in if I didn't pounce. So I challenged her and tried to poke check and missed, but I startled her with my aggressiveness and she ditched the puck right in front of me. That was awesome. I'm making her work for her goals now, so I like that. Oh, except for the one of hers where she got me moving across the crease and it caromed in off my stick. Son of a...

Joe got an ugly one on me short side. It was a 3 on 2 and he was coming up the wall on my left but I can see two red people to my right just waiting for the pass. And Joe being the red team coach, I was expecting the pass, since that's what coaches tend to do in this league, so I was cheating away from the post. Can't do that, Ms. C.

Anyway, the list goes on and on. I felt bad for the other goalie. He didn't realize there was going to be a 4th period because we had extra ice time and I think the game was over in his mind. His 4th was like my 3rd last week. Every shot going in for the first 10 minutes. He was tired, too, they said.

I dunno how getting lit up like that can be so fun, but it was fun. Go figure. I guess if my team wasn't making things happen at the other end, it would have just been depressing, but they kept putting the puck in the net, god love 'em. Fred (not photographer Fred, green socks Fred) is looking especially good lately. He's fun to watch. Crazy soft hands. If his feet ever catch up with his hands, he'll be a beast.

So anyway, I guess the power of Manny Legace's signature on the backplate of my mask doesn't make me a better goalie. Don't think it made me any worse though. It was just a tough game. And boy, I was sore, feet and calves cramping up, before I even got to the parking lot. Had some awkward landings on some of my save attempts and an awkward fall on my right arm that strained my tricep. Groins are gonna be screaming by about 5 p.m. But it will all be fine by next Sunday when we get to do it all over again. I can't wait!

I actually felt like my stamina was pretty good in spite of the long game. I mixed some Gatorade in my water bottle and I think that helped, even if it was mostly psychologically. But sweating that much for that long, you need to put some electrolytes back and the carb boost is nice, too. One great thing about having done all that marathon stuff was learning what works best for keeping my energy up and stable for long durations. I'm pretty in tune with that and happy with how that worked out last night.

Though I don't eat a lot on Sundays because I get nervous, and the beer I had after the game went straight to my head. Had to hang out longer than I intended just to feel comfortable driving home.

This week I'm going to focus on core strength and flexibility. Last week was endurance/cardio. Amazing how a little bit of extra work during the week can make a big difference on Sunday. I definitely felt less tired during the game last night.

Read more...

Quick hits: More Bourne; Shoot, you freaking pansy!; Suck it, figure skaters; new PHN article

Yeah, two Justin Bourne posts in a row, but seriously, what an entertaining writer. (I'm not just sucking up because he linked to my blog. Really.) And his next article on THN is out today. It's terrific, natch.

Go check it out.

--------------------
Also, in Justin's blog post today, he says, "Today’s coaches preach shoot-shoot-shoot, and the players usually want them to shut-up-shut-up-shut-up."

And I thought, "AH HA! So you guys don't like to shoot!"

I have to ask why this is. Someone please enlighten me.

Of course, it's not the first time I've asked. Every time Butchy crosses the blue line, spins around, slams on the breaks, and gets the puck taken away, I die a little more inside. And I'm a pretty patient fan. I'm not a "SHOOOOOT!" person at all, unless I see a lane and they don't take it.

I recall watching my pal Schultzie's Tri-City Americans (WHL) play a televised game earlier in the season and it was clear that sometime between juniors and the NHL, the fellas decide a) they don't have to go to the net anymore and b) they don't wanna shoot.

Here's the list of things that can happen when you shoot:

1. Goal
2. Rebound
   
3. Freeze
4. High
5. Wide
6. Fall down (maybe get laughed at)
7. Broken stick
8. Bounce off defender resulting in a breakaway
   

Which of these is worse than your coach moaning to the local paper that you won't effin' shoot the puck and it's driving his ass crazy? Maybe #8. That's it. Those are good odds. Play the odds. Shoot the f**king puck.

Unless you're shooting on Ms.Conduct. Then feel free to whiff and fall down. (Oh, I left whiff off.)

9. Whiff (maybe get laughed at... definitely by the goalie)

---------------------

Went to Memorial City like I always do mid-week to work on my footwork today. Of course, I forgot it was spring break, so there were lots of kids, but it wasn't so crowded I couldn't do my thing (which, incidentally, gets LOTS of stares at that figure skating-oriented rink).

But dammit if those friggin' figure skaters hadn't put a million holes in the ice with their toe picks. Someone dug the goddamn Grand Canyon in front of one of the creases. Chunks of ice everywhere. Really annoying. Wish it was like golf where you have to fill your divots. Hope those triple lutzes were pretty, bitches.

(Mostly kidding, though the Grand Canyon was totally true. It's actually pretty fun to watch the better skaters there, though their movements around the ice are terribly unpredictable. I spend a lot of time dodging them and vice versa.)

-----------------------

Forgot to mention, my next PHN article is out today as well. Nothing special particularly. I feel kinda like I'm holding my breath through the rest of the regular season. The photos are pretty good though. Nice tight shots of Beautiful Benny and Krazy Krys.

Read more...

Quick Hits: NHL gets it right!; goaltending; milk

I've had a lot of sugar in the last hour so forgive my randomness...

First of all, even though Riser thinks it's not enough of a suspension, I'm delighted that the NHL actually gave Cody "Hockey Spice" McCormick 2 games for cross-checking Cal in the head.

Bitch. Don't be messing with my boy. I'll cut you.

I really really really really really hate the Avs. Skunky little bastards. The way things are going, they're gonna outpace the Ducks for my #1 hated team before long.

------------------

Been off the ice for a while with vacation and all, so I put on the gear yesterday and banged around in it. Did a few up and downs and just generally got used to having it on again. And today I went to Memorial City and worked on my backwards skating from the face-off circles to my posts and from the slot into the net. I haven't quite learned how to STOP while going backwards, so most of the time, I overshot it and would have caught myself in my own net had there been a net on the ice. Dork.

Also, on goaltending, I'm very slowly reading through Ken Dryden's "The Game," which is arguably the greatest hockey book ever written. There's a chapter in which he goes through his game day and then in-game mental and physical processes. I was heartened to see that the goaltender experience is fairly universal. Either that or Dryen and I are just really in sync and should probably go have a beer sometime (call me, Kenny!).

He talks about going through the gate from the bench to the ice and thinking, "Don't fall!!" (Seriously, it's a chore to go through the bench gate in goalie gear.) He talks about how, when that first shot on goal doesn't come for a while, it becomes too big an "event" in your mind and shakes your focus a bit. Here's a quote that spoke to me:

"And whenever we get a penalty, whenever I see them come this way, I get the same unnerving twinge of panic, my mind nagging the same doubts, my body finding the same phony ready posture. I can't get comfortable. I'm not bored, but I'm not enjoying this very much."

Anyway, genius book and I kinda have a hero-worship thing going for The Honourable Mr. D. Thank goodness he's not a scout, that's all I'm saying.

-----------------

I've found another reason to love Canada. The dairy farmers of Canada are pushing Chocolate Milk as a sports drink. What have I been saying? Chocolate milk is the BEST thing post-workout. Moo, bitches!

I swear I feel 100x better on Monday morning when I have a big glass of chocolate milk after my hockey game (and no beer) than when I don't. I know, that's heresy for a beer-leaguer but I'm willing to put my neck out for this.

My other milk excitement for the day is that my CVS now carries Horizon Organic Milk. I may never go to the grocery store again!

Read more...