Jon B. Quick

Can I nom on Jonathan Quick for a bit? Jesus Mary and Joseph.... what a goalie. And not my usual heart-attack, ornery type of goalie either. I like to think that my taste for goalies is expanding a bit, though if you consider my "goalie fetish," as Bourne calls it, that might also be a little scary.

Someone on Twitter last night compared him to Kipper, which burns. I don't like Kipper at all. That mayyyy have something to do with how badly he screwed me in a couple of fantasy leagues 2 seasons ago. I mayyyy be a bit of a grudge holder. Mayyyybe.

Still, there's nothing lovable about Kipper. He's shady and greasy and a diva (see: 2010 Olympics - Team Finland).

In fact, I've now thought about him for too long and need brain bleach.

Don't you wish your goalie was fat like Marty?

I just realized why Marty gets me so hot and bothered. He looks so much like this really sketchy boyfriend I had in junior high. Big football player. Dumb as rocks. A real shit, to be honest, but... remember that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa falls for Nelson? It was kinda like that. Oh my poor mother was so disapproving, at least of the stuff she knew about. Ha.

Anyway, really similar features to Marty. This guy is also the reason Stetson cologne turns me into a drooling beast.

Ever feel like you've said too much?

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