What what?! It's a Cucko feature article, bitches!

I'm nothing if not consistently themed here at Ms.Conduct, and of course, one of my most favoritest AHLers to harangue is Kris Chucko.

I'm sure he's a good kid, visits cancer children, brings cookies to his elderly neighbors, calls his mama and whatnot, but he was born to be my whipping boy and that's just how life goes sometimes. Really, it's a privilege.

Anyway, Chucko, unfortunately, has been improving. He was much better last year coming off a 07-08 season where he was 100% "really? first round? Wow. Nice going, Flamers." And now, apparently, he's still trying to get in the NHL. *shakes head*

If anyone can appreciate uphill battles, god knows it's me, baby, so I guess I admire his tenacity in the face of stone cold suckiness. Good on him for working on his weakness and making some waves.

But honestly, even if he's skating around with a Stanley Cup in his hands someday, he'll always be a big goober to me. I'll always envision him following Reitzy around the ice trying to start a fight and Reitzy looking at him like, "You've GOT to be out of your mind, Chucko" and blowing him off.

And then there's this gem. John Scott doing what so many have done before...

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Aeros v. Chicago Wolves - Game 63

Rapid fire, bitches, because I'm getting out of dodge in about 12 hours and there is still packing and sleeping and various other things to be done before then:

• Why is Pouliot such a freaking badass on the PK and such a dorkus maximus 5 on 5? Luckily, the Aeros were on the PK for, like, half the game, so I guess it was a good game for him. He's back to hitting a bunch again, too. *wolf whistle*
• Then again, this was a hit-or-be-hit kinda game. Both teams came out with guns a'blazing. I haven't seen such a physical game in a long time. It's clear these guys love to hate each other. And that makes for some fun effin' hockey, baby.
• Second in the division! Shhhhhh... not too loud or they'll take it away.
• Six kiddie choirs? For the love of...
• The penalty kill at the end of the game with Krahn pulled from the Wolves net and the Aeros battling 6-on-4 was positively heroic. They just kept their shit completely together, didn't panic but played with the utmost urgency, and not only survived the two-man disadvantage, but then Rosa dished a soft backhander up the ice and the puck glided just inside the post. The crowd went nuts, as it was the third such empty net attempt, the first two going a bit wide.
  
• Like I mentioned, lots of bad blood with these teams and it didn't take long for a huge hit by Stoner on LaVallee to trigger the first fight of the game between Stoner and Brooks (edge to Stoner). And later, Love fought Lehman and this is the first Love fight I've seen where he looked genuinely pissed and it clearly wasn't an "energy" fight. Love schooled him.
• Schaefer kept them in this game and got second star. Stud. Kolanos got the GWG and first star and $1000 for charity thanks to Mr. Anonymous. I wonder if I get a new Smiley Krys picture as a result... :) Update: Woohoo! Mr. Awesome comes through for me yet again!
  

Hey baby. I'm #1.
Photo by Fred Trask

Overall, they totally shouldn't have won this game. Way too many undisciplined penalties and too few shots on net (though mostly decent chances), but with a kill like that (Chicago scored on 0 of its 8 power plays), it's hard to fuss too much. They're just lucky Schaefer was on it tonight.

Here's Royal's accounting of the evening.

I'll miss Chucko coming to town on Tuesday but am back on the clock for Friday's game. Behave yourselves. Or don't, but don't call me for bail money.

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Aeros v. Rochester Americans - Game 25

What can I say about this game? It was typical 07-08 Aeros game where the defense, especially the penalty kill, was spectacular and the offense was painfully anemic.

Amerks goalie Mike Brodeur (who is either very blessed or very cursed with that name) saw little in the way of challenging shots in the 27 he faced, almost as though the point of the game was TO hit the goalie with the puck and not actually get it PAST the goalie. Even Kolanos wasn't picking the top corners like he usually is so good at.

What's especially sad about this game is that the Amerks came into this game with ZERO road wins. Well, you're welcome, Rochester. Now you're 1-10-0-1 on the road.

And to top it all off, Brust was in net and saved some doozies, but again, in the shootout, he was abysmal. I love watching him play, but if this team is going to continue struggling offensively and games are going to be tight all the time, this has GOT to get fixed. The longer it continues to haunt him, the more ingrained the problem is going to get in the psychology of his game. (Post-game reaction here in Andrew's Chronicle article and here in Royal's blog post... which, after reading, I'm feeling really, really sad for Barry right now... poor guy needs a hug.)

I'm not even gonna rag on the guys who participated in the shoot out and didn't score (only Kolanos did... and made it look like there wasn't even an goalie there... it was a beauty). It doesn't matter as long as Barry's letting every single puck past him.

Also, Marco Rosa is back to his dilly-dallying with the puck. Bad Rosy! STOP IT! He's like a cat playing with a mouse, the way he's just batting the puck around, as though there aren't 5 other cats descending on him, wanting that mouse. You put that rodent in your teeth and you head for home, son! Family needs to eat!

That said, it wasn't all bad (just mostly):

• I drove to and walked into the rink in a barrage of snowflakes. It was beautiful and magical and put me in a terrific mood. I smiled from the moment I opened my garage door to leave until the time I sat down in my seat at the TC. Lovely.
  
• Noreau got the lone goal for the Aeros on the power play and now leads all defensemen in the league in goals and power play goals. The kid is Solid. I'm more impressed with him all the time.
• The National Anthem was nice. No choirs. A different music mix, which was a wonderful change of pace. And both intermissions utilized the ice. First with some little figure skater girls, and then some little kid hockey teams playing each other. That's the way you do intermission, gang. Well done.
• There were three fights, none worth writing home about. Kassian and Emmerson did the required enforcer fight. Edge to Emmerson but only because he's taller and had a little better leverage. Then Rogers and Stewart went, though I think Stewart instigated and it ended quickly, though they both just got 5 for it. And the Irmen and Henry went after a scrum in the corner or something. By then I was so bored I didn't even care why or what happened.
  
• There was something else that didn't suck but I can't remember what it was. Oh, in spite of the 2,400+ official attendance, my very generous estimate would be 400 people. So, you know, if you're gonna suck, at least you're doing it in front of die-hards who will come out in a blizzard on a Wednesday for hockey.
  

Our deck when I got home, before the dog went out and decided his new mission in life was to eat all the snow on the deck. Fortunately his feet got cold before he got too far into that mission. He was fired up though. Very cute.

Tomorrow, Chucko and the Flames comes to town. Apparently he's playing pretty well this season. And he's catching a break because my little crew of Chucko-haters won't be there.

Though I did learn from a QC fan that the team is leaving QC pre-dawn, having to come through Atlanta, eat their pre-game meal in ATL at the airport, and then fly into Houston, maybe/maybe not get a pre-game nap, etc. So for once, the Aeros get the benefit of a travel-weary team rather than being the travel-weary team themselves. They'll need to take advantage of it and come out strong and with a helluva lot more fire in the belly than they showed up with tonight.

Oh and I have a special treat for tomorrow, including some Clutterbuckage. Stay tuned.

ETA: I forgot to say, the scratches were Hamilton (concussion), Lundbohm (groin), Lammers (undisclosed), Love (healthy), Falk (healthy)

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Fresh Meat Friday!

Well, the Wild are certainly making a statement about how things are gonna go next year in Houston. Within the span of a week, they've signed/traded for 3 big time scorers from around the AHL. This is really exciting stuff.

First was Jesse Schultz (Nick's cousin) from the Calder Cup Champion Chicago Wolves. Then today, they traded away d-man Shawn Belle for Hamilton center Corey Locke. I think that's a win-win for everyone. Belle will get out of this system in which he just doesn't fit, and we get offensive firepower. And they signed center Krys Kolanos, a former Phoenix Coyote (I expect a report, Hip!), who played with the much maligned Kris Chucko in Quad Cities last season. He had noggin issues a few years ago, but played quite well for QC last year.

I'm very happy with these moves. Would be nice to have a chance offensively and not just have to pray for the D and goalies to keep goals against down to 0 or 1. But speaking of D... we're now a bit thin on that front. I'll hope for more news in the coming weeks on that front.

ETA: So, it's since been unearthed that while Schultz and Locke are character guys, Kolanos is apparently a bit of a jerk. This is coming from fans in several of the cities he's played for, so it's not just one loud mouthed fan's smear campaign. Word is he gives about 15% on the ice and won't play both ends, he's dismissive of fans, and a poor teammate. I can't fathom why he'd choose to come here unless it was the only offer on the table. Constantine is gonna crucify a guy like that. Could be a bumpy ride for Krys, and I'm not too excited anymore about his signing. I don't care how many goals you score, you never earn the right to be a jerk.

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Playoffs: Day 1

Rough night in the Conduct household... Aeros lost to Chucko and the Flamers AGAIN (what the hell is it with that team???), Wild lost to those Colorado hosers in an OT heartbreaker (and yet ANOTHER player is injured... at least it wasn't a defenseman), and Brodeur made several brilliant saves and let in one softy that was so f'ing soft, it negated all the brilliant saves.

I was okay with the Rangers winning though, especially since Avery got me some quality fantasy league points. Here's my stats for my team last night:

Sean Avery | 1 G, 1 A, 3 Shots | 5.5
Brian Rolston | 1 A, 5 Shots | 3.5
Jarome Iginla | 2 A, 4 Shots | 4
Marian Gaborik | 1 Shot | 0.5
Brent Burns | 2 Shots | 1

Total: 14.5

The rest of my players play tonight:
Brendan Morrow, Teemu Selanne, Nicklas Lidstrom, Zdeno Chara, and Christobal Huet.

I was shocked, when I looked at my stats, to see how few shots Gabby got. WTF? The Avs totally neutralized him. Very frustrating. Someone needs a beating. :)

Anyway, before all that drama, I did do something good for myself and popped in my yoga DVD. I really didn't know if I was making any progress in my flexibility but on one move, I was able to straighten my leg out where I never had been able to before. But there was some SERIOUS crunching in my lower back, so either my pelvis is out again or it's more in. I'll have no idea until I hit the ice on Saturday. Shoulders are definitely a bit sore today though. And my groin is so tight. Need to work on that.

Habs play tonight, which is Mr. Conduct's team of choice. It will be nice to watch some games where I have a favorite but not much emotional investment. I was flopping around on the floor like a fish last night watching the Wild. Tres stressful!

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Playoffs Upon Us

Avs fans should be breathing a little easier and maybe feeling not quite so much the underdog after hearing the news that one of our veteran defensemen is down for a the series after having his appendix sliced out Monday evening. This on top of K. Foster going down with a broken femur. *sigh* Tough times on the Wild blueline.

Anyway, game one is tomorrow night in Minny. I'm a bit on edge about it.

Aeros play tomorrow, too. Chucko's team. Hosers. Would be nice to get those two points before we head into the final 3 games with Milwaukee.

Bigger than all that, though, is the decision I have to make:

Rangers or Devils.

Of course, Coach Stalin is a huge Rangers fan, so I've watched them more than any other eastern team. My dirty little secret is that I really kinda like Sean Avery. (See. Told you it was dirty.) I just kinda love to hate him and hate to love him. I love when he riles people up and I love when they get their revenge.

Also, Coach is trying to persuade me to her side by alerting me to the pretty boys on the team who might inspire some puck bunny-esque loyalty.

Dan Girardi? Not bad. Not bad at all.

But the problem is, I'm just in awe of Marty Brodeur. And almost always, a goalie I like is enough to sway me to support a team.

Even better is that Avery and Brodeur have a hot little rivalry. Wouldn't a goalie fight be grand?

We'll see. I'm still leaning Devilish, but sometimes the game has to be on and the spontaneous cheers have to erupt from my mouth before I really know where my heart is.

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Willowbrook Novice League Prospect

Coach Stalin was telling me today how she is manning a table at one of the (many) Aeros games this week to try and get people to sign up for the novice league she's in at Willowbrook. I had a moment of panic because currently, my understanding is that there are 3 goalies who play, two of whom don't mind skating out, so I'm a little protective of that one "slot" in which to play once I'm ready.

So I told her not to sign up any goalies and she said she'd tell people that there are no goalie slots because they've got a prospect in the system. LOL I know. Totally silly but I had a big laugh at being called a prospect (even if it's just the two of us doing it). :)

Is it wrong to check my order status at Hockey Giant every 30 minutes to see if it's been shipped? Yeah, I thought so.

Aeros game tonight. Chucko Sucko.

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Hockey run down

Lots of stuff going on in the corner of the hockey world that interests me most:

• Syracuse Crunch are apparently out for John Scott-blood due to a "code" violation last time they played. Of course, who knows if Johnny will see any ice time. It's a 50/50 shot these days.
• Apparently Schaefer is hurt bad enough that the Aeros have had to call up goalie Briggs from ECHL team in Idaho as insurance. I thought I saw Brusty limping on Tuesday... Our deep goalie corps ain't so deep anymore. Not good given how we're playing. Trial by fire for these E guys.
• Austin will have an AHL team by 2010. The Iowa Stars are moving to be closer to their parent team. Beyond wondering what will happen to the Aeros, I wonder what that means for the Ice Bats? I haven't heard any mention of that and I don't see Austin supporting two hockey teams sufficiently. I guess the 2010 season is going to be pretty interesting.
• We're already planning for Chucko to come to town on March 17 and 19. I'm going to get a peice of garden hose to take with me so I can have a visual to wave around when I'm calling him a hoser. Be ready Chuckles. Wait, who are you? (That one's for you, Reitzy.)

Not much else going on. Got to show off my new stick to Coach Stalin and Co. yesterday. I think we're gonna try and skate tomorrow afternoon, assuming I can get my "chores" done early enough. Tomorrow will be two weeks since I last did a real skate where I could work on drills and stuff. I miss it.

Got a packet of info from GDI (Goalie Development Institute or something) today in the mail. I really just want my free copy of Goalie News. These guys are way too serious for me, but looking thru their info has certainly stirred my fervor again. Give me a net to mind!!!

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Catching up

So, I did make it to the rink on Friday and got a good skate in. Well, sorta good. I had a lot of trouble establishing my balance and controlling my edges. Only felt like I got in a rhythm a few times; the rest felt shaky and awkward. But I did a LOT of swizzles and feel really good that I have that one down pretty well. Stopping isn't coming along very well, but I know I'll get there with more practice. I was tired and sweaty when I finished, so at the very least, I got a good workout. I guess they can't all be mind-blowing. :)

Went to spinning this morning and it just wasn't great. Underhydrated, tired, tired legs, went out too strong on the second song (Animals by Nickelback, which is my Clutterbuck song and one of my favorites right now) and just kinda shot my wad too early. Oh well. Onward!

Had fun at the Aeros game last night in spite of an overtime loss. Lots of folks seem to think they played badly but I didn't leave angry like I have the prior 4 games, so I'll take that and run. Part of that was razzing the Quad City player, Kris Chucko. I mean, you HAVE to razz that name, and the fact that he's sort of a nasty player anyway... I don't feel bad. Sadly, he won his fight. Cal won the other one though, so that was cool. He's a keeper, that Clutterbuck.

Okay, off to the game!

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Saturday Mourning

Friggin' Aeros. Friggin' Ref.

Okay, I'm done. All positive vibes for tonights game. Gooooo AEROS! (Here's something: "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor just came on my iTunes rotation... it's a sign, I tell ya!)

Dan came by last night to tell me how ridiculously loud I am and how shocked he was at that (in a good, proud, hockey-lovin' way, of course). Um yeah. The second penalty on Scotty pretty much sent me over the edge. I often wonder if drinking would make it worse or maybe mellow my ass out a little bit. I've learned from the master though. DH is about as loud a person as I've ever known, even just in normal situations, but especially at hockey. I cannot WAIT to razz Chucko next weekend. I'm practically vibrating with anticipation. Poor Chucko. Heh. God, I love hockey.

Oh. My. Gawd. Now "Don't Stop Believing" is playing. Seriously.

Anyway, looks like Coach Stalin and I are going skating this afternoon. I'm in a much better frame of mind and ready to work hard. Also got "Power Skating" by Laura Stamm in the mail today. Looking forward to reading through it and hopefully picking up some tips that will be helpful in my skating. My legs are finally not feeling as tired as they have been, so that's good. Might hit spinning in the morning (though it's the class that's 15 minutes longer than my usual one, so it might just kill me).

Um. Now it's "I Hate Myself for Loving You"... also quite appropriate, I have to say.

Okay, back to filing bills and tax papers. Real life sucks.

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