Friday, March 20, 2009

Quick hits: More Bourne; Shoot, you freaking pansy!; Suck it, figure skaters; new PHN article

Yeah, two Justin Bourne posts in a row, but seriously, what an entertaining writer. (I'm not just sucking up because he linked to my blog. Really.) And his next article on THN is out today. It's terrific, natch.

Go check it out.

Also, in Justin's blog post today, he says, "Today’s coaches preach shoot-shoot-shoot, and the players usually want them to shut-up-shut-up-shut-up."

And I thought, "AH HA! So you guys don't like to shoot!"

I have to ask why this is. Someone please enlighten me.

Of course, it's not the first time I've asked. Every time Butchy crosses the blue line, spins around, slams on the breaks, and gets the puck taken away, I die a little more inside. And I'm a pretty patient fan. I'm not a "SHOOOOOT!" person at all, unless I see a lane and they don't take it.

I recall watching my pal Schultzie's Tri-City Americans (WHL) play a televised game earlier in the season and it was clear that sometime between juniors and the NHL, the fellas decide a) they don't have to go to the net anymore and b) they don't wanna shoot.

Here's the list of things that can happen when you shoot:

  1. Goal
  2. Rebound
  3. Freeze
  4. High
  5. Wide
  6. Fall down (maybe get laughed at)
  7. Broken stick
  8. Bounce off defender resulting in a breakaway
Which of these is worse than your coach moaning to the local paper that you won't effin' shoot the puck and it's driving his ass crazy? Maybe #8. That's it. Those are good odds. Play the odds. Shoot the f**king puck.

Unless you're shooting on Ms.Conduct. Then feel free to whiff and fall down. (Oh, I left whiff off.)

9. Whiff (maybe get laughed at... definitely by the goalie)


Went to Memorial City like I always do mid-week to work on my footwork today. Of course, I forgot it was spring break, so there were lots of kids, but it wasn't so crowded I couldn't do my thing (which, incidentally, gets LOTS of stares at that figure skating-oriented rink).

But dammit if those friggin' figure skaters hadn't put a million holes in the ice with their toe picks. Someone dug the goddamn Grand Canyon in front of one of the creases. Chunks of ice everywhere. Really annoying. Wish it was like golf where you have to fill your divots. Hope those triple lutzes were pretty, bitches.

(Mostly kidding, though the Grand Canyon was totally true. It's actually pretty fun to watch the better skaters there, though their movements around the ice are terribly unpredictable. I spend a lot of time dodging them and vice versa.)


Forgot to mention, my next PHN article is out today as well. Nothing special particularly. I feel kinda like I'm holding my breath through the rest of the regular season. The photos are pretty good though. Nice tight shots of Beautiful Benny and Krazy Krys.


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