Monday, July 18, 2011

Dirty Minds

I really need to find a way to make money writing humorous-but-dirty stuff about hockey players. I feel like it's my calling. Some day I'll write a super-trashy hockey novel and make all my hockey girlfriends read it, but somehow keep Mr. C from reading it. He'd be scarred for life.

My latest picks for the 5-Hole Fantasy League are particularly scandalous and another former B-Sens player, Jason Bailey, falls prey to my affections. I know they won the Calder Cup and all, but really, their GM should be applauded for assembling one of the handsomest teams in the history of the league.

Here's the article and I have to say, Jason was a good sport about it and loved the article. He's a fox and a gentleman (hopefully not TOO much of a gentleman though...)

So currently my team, the Johnson City Sausagemen, looks like this:

Goalies: Barry Brust (C), Alex Stalock, Joey MacDonald
Forwards: Mikko Koivu (A), Cal Clutterbuck, Jason Bailey
D-Men: Michael Del Zotto, Clayton Stoner, Roman Josi
IceMen: Travis Snider, Drew Barrymore, Lyle Overbay

OMG, I love them so much. Once all my picks are done, I'm gonna photoshop a team photo together. That's gonna be epic.


Women's league starts back up tomorrow. Super excited. I have the same captain as last season, and I adore her and her partner, so that's comforting for me. Haven't played with any of my other teammates before, but a little birdy tells me it's a good group of gals.

The teams are named after space shuttles and we're Discovery. Oooo.....

It'll just be awesome to play a game that matters again for the first time since April when we won the championship.

Since Mr.C is set to be out of town, I'm jumping on the ice with the Harpies Wednesday, too. Enjoy playing with that group quite a lot and don't do it more because a) I prefer to play for free and b) they built a friggin' Cheesecake Factory next to the quiet, mostly-ignored corner of the mall parking lot right by the back door to the rink. So suddenly you're parking a quarter mile away, unless you get lucky, and then dragging your gear from and to your car. Not cool, Memorial City Mall. Not. Cool.

Genius idea for the day is a hockey valet service there. Drop your gear off at the door, they keep an eye on it while you go park in BFE. And the reverse when you leave for the night. Yeah? GENIUS. Or I may be a total candy-ass... or both.


Go Sausagemen!


Shire's Mom  July 19, 2011 at 6:41 PM  

Ms. "Brusty" Conduct; you never fail to make me laugh out loud and look for someone to share your oh so happily twisted sense of male hockey humor! Oh and that book? PLEASE PLEASE write it... before I get the nerve to write one myself. LOL

Snikpip  July 20, 2011 at 4:23 PM  

I saw the picture first and thought my old town in TN got a hockey team. Then I started reading. You naughty little netminderess. ;) High five!

Anonymous  July 23, 2011 at 8:43 PM  

LOL there is valet parking at the cheesecake factory. i think it is open until 9, so if you play early you can get out before they close. its 5.00 but well worth it, unless you like BFE. :)

Ms. Conduct  July 23, 2011 at 8:50 PM  

I SAW that when I was there! I may actually get that desperate some day. Seems very unhockey-like though, huh? Bad enough I have a rolly bag now... *cough*PUSSY*cough*

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