Monday, May 18, 2009

Random thoughts

Dear Costco Shoppers,

Are you people the f**king laziest SOBs to ever shop at any store anywhere? What the ever-living hell is up with not walking 10 feet to put that giant shopping cart in a corral?

I mean, I know there are circumstances people might be in where they're too tired or whatever (age, illness) and it's a big store and even an athlete such as myself (I'll pause for a second while we all have a good laugh) is just ready to get home after an hour in there.

But seriously, there's no place I shop regularly where the parking lot is so littered with carts. When I went the other day, I had to jump out of my car while I was looking for a spot, and run and stop a rolling cart before it careened into another car. Parking Lot Superhero, I am. I think I ended up putting away 5 carts apart from my own because they were either in the way of parking my car, rolling around the lot, or were just randomly strewn around my path to taking the other carts to the corral.

And seriously, there are huge cart corrals all over the parking lot. It's 1 extra minute of your life that spares everyone a ton of hassle. Please, I beg of you. If you are able-bodied, please put your cart up. If this nut-busting bitch can do it, so can you.

Sincerely,
Ms. Conduct

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I took a nap over lunch because I was up until 3:30 trying to forget that I suck at goaltending. Just a 30 minute cat nap since I've got an Aeros game tonight (we're squeezing this season 'til it screams).

I dreamed that my dog got excited about something in the neighbor's yard and launched himself off our 2nd floor deck and into their yard. It was weird. I was so upset, I woke up out of breath from trying to rescue him.

Does that make it a dog nap?

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So, the texting Brusty feature kinda fizzled over at T3I, but one of the questions I had was something like, "Is Kiss Me Through the Phone the worst modern song ever? If not, what song drives you up the wall?"

Never got an answer to that, but I still really hate that song. I really hate it. And since I never got a chance to express that hate, I'm doing it now.

Here, hate it with me.

See? Man, just... ugh. Hate it.

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I washed my chest protector this morning. The water in the bathtub was this color. I think I could have washed it twice and gotten just a slightly lighter shade of that color the second time, but I didn't.

I wonder if it's ever been washed. I know all that isn't just me. It's at least Scott and one other person's stank soaked in there.

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Okay, that's enough. Here's wishing the best to the boys in the bombers tonight.

13 comments:

"Dave Schultz"  May 18, 2009 at 4:51 PM  

I <3 you.

I'm jealous of your nap, I need one badly. I'm jealous you get to watch Aeros tonight (they'd better friggin win!)

Kiss Me Through The Phone's existence convinces me the world is officially out of original ideas. It makes me stabby. Like really alot.

And I threw up in my mouth a little at the color of wash water there my friend. ew. At least your chest protector is clean, though right?? :)

AerosFan  May 18, 2009 at 4:52 PM  

hahaha you make me crack up!
i always forget that your not like seventeen XD
good luck & go #25 tonight!

Ms. Conduct  May 18, 2009 at 5:45 PM  

Well, I dunno about "clean" but slightly less filthy. Luckily there is a layer of clothing between it and me.

Thank you for hating KMTTP.

elise  May 18, 2009 at 8:08 PM  

I didn't think it was possible for me to hate that song anymore than I already did. And then I watched the video.

Kramer  May 18, 2009 at 8:20 PM  

Never been washed, my new one smells horrid already. I am gonna take my shizat over to mad hockey to have it cleaned.

hipcheck  May 18, 2009 at 9:40 PM  

I find every store here people are too lazy to return their carts. My favorite is when they were parked right nixt to the cart corral.

I took a nap at lunch today too but I did not have a dream like that!

And yah, the water color not so good.

Ms. Conduct  May 18, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

Wow, an appearance by Scott TFCG himself! Mad Hockey? WTF? There's a hockey store I didn't know about? And they clean stink?? Tell me more!

Maybe they'll sponsor me. I'm kind of an angry goalie.

Goody  May 19, 2009 at 6:38 AM  

I'm chock full of comments for this one...

Carts: I think nearly every shopper at nearly every store is too lazy to put their cart in the cart corral, just some stores do a better job of cleaning up than others. Maybe Costco just doesn't have a good cart boy? My biggest peeve is the people who bother to push their cart to the corral but don't actually push the cart into it, but rather leave it half hanging out. Hey buddy, that last 1.5 feet just puts it over the top for effort required does it? Frankly, (how much space do I get for comments here?) I'd not mind like is done in some European stores. You pay a quarter (or some monetary value) to get a cart. Bring the cart back and you get your quarter back. Leave it in the lot and you're out a quarter!

Chest protector: That's just nasty. I've nearly convinced myself that your chest protector is dyed that color and you just washed out the dye. Please don't tell me differently!

Dream: I had a friend who used to throw a ball off their 2nd story deck for their dog. The dog would run down the stairs, fetch the ball and return it to him on the deck. One day the dog got so excited it actually jumped the rail rather than use the stairs. Scared everyone but didn't phase the dog (no injuries). Fetch off the deck ended that day.

Song: I'm taking your word for it. I've not heard it and have no desire to ever hear it.

Ms. Conduct  May 19, 2009 at 8:48 AM  

Yes, the thought that Costco was just not on the ball with keeping carts in check had crossed my mind, but they wouldn't need to if people would do it right and be good citizens.

My tolerance for filth is clearly too high. You guys are funny about the chest protector. I think I may run to the fabric store today and see about getting some fresh elastic for it. It's all broken down and worn out. I think I'm stuck with this one for a while, so I might as well get it where it's in the best condition I can get it.

Good call on the song.

Major jumping off the deck would be disastrous with his bad hips and surgically repaired knee. Pretty sure it would be Old Yeller time if he did that. Luckily, due to those bad hips, he could never clear the deck railing even if he wanted to.

Fred Trask  May 19, 2009 at 8:51 AM  

Isn't that why they make pressure washers?

Or maybe you just need to bring it to the coin operated car wash ...

Ms. Conduct  May 19, 2009 at 8:59 AM  

Well, it's so old and raggedy, I'm not sure a pressure washer wouldn't just shred it to bits. It really needs a good (gentle) machine washing. Maybe once I take the old elastic off (which I was afraid wouldn't survive the washer) I can wash it.

Justin Bourne  May 19, 2009 at 10:56 AM  

Hey, random thought I just had.

You're an Aero's fan. You're a goalie. One of my best friends is a Houston Aero's goalie, Barry Brust.

How did this never come up before?

Ms. Conduct  May 19, 2009 at 12:34 PM  

Yeah, Justin, I was actually aware of that. Funny bit of synchronicity, right?

I'll say this, if you haven't picked it up from the blog: The objectivity I'm supposed to exhibit as a beat writer for the Aeros is hopelessly, breathlessly absent when it comes to Barry. I love the guy.

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