Monday, May 11, 2009

Life Alert won't help you in the crease

So, whenever you start a new venture that's kinda complicated, there's always some aspect of it that leaves you scratching your head that you never expected would leave you scratching your head.

For me and goaltending, it's how to gracefully recover from my ass. Real goalies make this look so easy. Nobody appreciates how hard the dumb little shit like this is to figure out.

And the thing is, practicing it on carpet at home doesn't work. You aren't slipping and sliding, so it's not the same challenge.

Anyway, this was the theme of the night, as I made one save on my ass (well, multiple if you count the rebounds until I froze it) and struggled to get up. And then as the red team was entering the zone, I was just setting up for them and my balance shifted backward juuuuust a little too much and I did that whole cartoony thing where I'm trying to stay up, but my skates are just kicking out from under me, and BOOM, on my ass.

Luckily my team corralled the puck back to the other end, but I honestly thought for a moment I was gonna have to play the rest of the game on my ass and then just grab on to the Zamboni to let it drag me to the exit. It was about as brutal and embarrassing a display as I've ever been involved in. It was the hockey gods saying, CORE WORK, BITCH!!!!

And the red team is just sitting on their bench watching the show. I skated over after and said, "If anybody would like to get out here in these pads and try to get up off your ass, you're welcome to them!" Needless to say, I got no takers. They're probably all thinking, "Yeah, this why we were smart enough not to be goalies." Touché.

Anyway, as for the goals, there were 8 and I'm too tired to process them all right now. 5 in the first period alone, none in the second (which was the Flopping Period) and 3 in the third.

I was too deep and knew it immediately on at least 4 of them, probably more. Augh. Then, while I'm telling myself to stay out of the paint, I got beat on a nutty play from behind the net that I was to far out for and couldn't get back. Then one went in off the inside of my leg pad. Too deep and just totally wrong on that one, too.

Here, I'll just say it for the hockey gods so they can rest their voices: GET OUT OF THE F**KING PAINT!!!

I did have a few nice saves where I was in the right position, and the green team killed their first penalty with me in goal. Normally the PP is a surefire goal for the red team, but we stopped 'em this time, so that was great. Hey, our PK was better than Milwaukee's tonight! Ha! PP was better, too, as the green team DID score on a man advantage opportunity.

Anyway, feeling blah about the whole thing. Don't feel like I'm making any progress, but I'm hoping once the Aeros playoffs are over, I can get back to focusing on my own game. I've just been too busy the last few weeks to give it the appropriate attention.

I feel like I need a jersey that just says, "I'm trying, I promise" on the front.


Sunshine36616  May 11, 2009 at 6:00 PM  

OMG I could watch that video all day.

You are my hero! Keep working girl, you are awesome! I'm super jealous. Good on you for asking someone to get up off of their ass wearing those pads.

hipcheck  May 11, 2009 at 9:04 PM  

Hey, some of the best goalies flop around. I personally am amazad watching those goalies; I sersiously wonder how they stop those pucks. It sounds like you may be one of them!!

Ms. Conduct  May 11, 2009 at 10:29 PM  

My homegirls always come thru for me. Thanks.

Though trust me, the flopping was NOT of the Hasek variety. :) Telling Scott TFCG this morning, he called it a "water buffalo moment"... LOL Yeah, totally.

hipcheck  May 12, 2009 at 12:10 AM  

hmmmm, water buffalo? Is that more Ryan Miller like then? :D

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