Reflecting on last night

I'm still processing last night's game. I think in general "clusterfuck" is the best descriptor.

Here's the thing: being a goalie makes watching your favorite goalie both harder and easier in some respects.

You know, for instance, that some nights, it's just not your night. It just happens, no matter how good you are, no matter how bad you want it, no matter how much it means to you. It's just something you understand once you spend a little time in net.

You also know what it does to you mentally when it's very clear early on that your team isn't ready to go. And the Aeros were completely scatterbrained from the first puck drop. If you're not in just the perfect state of arousal (really? we can't come up with another way to express this, mental training coaches?), it's going to get in your head a little. You tighten up, second guess, get annoyed... I'm not saying that's what happened because I'm not in anybody's head but my own, but it DOES happen.

The sucky thing is you also know how it feels to be out there getting lit up. It. Feels. Awful. You're talking to yourself, trying to settle down and get your head right and let go of those goals. But it's hard, and doubly hard when your teammates are spinning their wheels.

So, that was tough to watch. I watched the first two periods from the corner, but felt like I needed to do something to change the luck. I dunno. Hard to figure things like that out. 4 goals in the first two periods, 3 in the third after I went up, so maybe it would have been worse if I hadn't been down there 2/3rds of the game. :)

I suppose it's pretty narcissistic to think something I do can change a game I'm not playing in, but... well.... I have a blog, an alter ego, and 300 followers on Twitter... I'd say Narcissistic is probably my middle name, yeah?

Oh well. It is what it is. Onward. *hugs* Tonight will be better.