BALLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Goaltending is not easy, but it's not nearly as hard as I've been making it this week.

Teh Suck continued fast and furious tonight at women's league. I'm pretty disgusted with my game. I know it's a team game, but I also know when I lose a game or when my team loses a game, and I lost this game. No two ways about it.

The other team's captain lit me up exactly like she did last time I played this team, down to the very move she uses on me. I stupidly got angry at her, but I'm really angry at myself. I know what I have to do to stop her. I just have to get up the balls to do it.

After she nailed me twice, I was just straight up rattled. I went into the game tight and overthinking and that just got worse as I got angry with the other team and with myself. My team played their cans off and I let them down. 4 goals for should be PLENTY.

My girls were great and analyzed the game after to figure out where to improve, but I'm sitting in my corner thinking, "get a better goalie." They tried to tell me I had some good saves, and I did, but there's a point where a handful of good saves brings no comfort. Especially in a close game where if I'd followed my rule of making $2000 saves, we would have at least tied.

The game winner... well, I might as well have stepped out of the net and drawn SHOOT HERE arrows on the ice for the shooter. I stayed up and intended to sweep a very slow shot away. But I lifted my stick, it went under, and just slid right in the net. Absolutely no excuse for that. I know better than to underreact in this league. You'll get fucked on that every time. I'm so disappointed in myself.

But you know, this is our team's first loss of the season and maybe it was good for me to have a meltdown type of game now and learn those hard lessons... again. :) Hi, I'm Ms. Hard Headed.

You don't even know the restraint it took to not stop at the Leaf on the way home and just drink. Honestly, if I didn't have my drowned rat sweaty hair going and looking like a slob, I would have. It's not a "beautiful people" kinda bar, but I really would kicked the standards down a few notches.

Instead I had some oatmeal and did my other favorite "feel better" thing besides drinking, which is watching Brusty play. Knew there was a reason I kept that Bingo/Marlies game on the DVR. Sexy beast makes it all better... :)

Anyway, I guess that's it until Monday. We've got something going every single night this week. Hockey M/T. Opera W. Dinner w/ friends T. Aeros F. I think Saturday is gonna be a righteous DO NOTHING day. If the dog gets a bath, I'll consider myself to have overachieved.