Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Goaltending is not easy, but it's not nearly as hard as I've been making it this week.

Teh Suck continued fast and furious tonight at women's league. I'm pretty disgusted with my game. I know it's a team game, but I also know when I lose a game or when my team loses a game, and I lost this game. No two ways about it.

The other team's captain lit me up exactly like she did last time I played this team, down to the very move she uses on me. I stupidly got angry at her, but I'm really angry at myself. I know what I have to do to stop her. I just have to get up the balls to do it.

After she nailed me twice, I was just straight up rattled. I went into the game tight and overthinking and that just got worse as I got angry with the other team and with myself. My team played their cans off and I let them down. 4 goals for should be PLENTY.

My girls were great and analyzed the game after to figure out where to improve, but I'm sitting in my corner thinking, "get a better goalie." They tried to tell me I had some good saves, and I did, but there's a point where a handful of good saves brings no comfort. Especially in a close game where if I'd followed my rule of making $2000 saves, we would have at least tied.

The game winner... well, I might as well have stepped out of the net and drawn SHOOT HERE arrows on the ice for the shooter. I stayed up and intended to sweep a very slow shot away. But I lifted my stick, it went under, and just slid right in the net. Absolutely no excuse for that. I know better than to underreact in this league. You'll get fucked on that every time. I'm so disappointed in myself.

But you know, this is our team's first loss of the season and maybe it was good for me to have a meltdown type of game now and learn those hard lessons... again. :) Hi, I'm Ms. Hard Headed.

You don't even know the restraint it took to not stop at the Leaf on the way home and just drink. Honestly, if I didn't have my drowned rat sweaty hair going and looking like a slob, I would have. It's not a "beautiful people" kinda bar, but I really would kicked the standards down a few notches.

Instead I had some oatmeal and did my other favorite "feel better" thing besides drinking, which is watching Brusty play. Knew there was a reason I kept that Bingo/Marlies game on the DVR. Sexy beast makes it all better... :)

Anyway, I guess that's it until Monday. We've got something going every single night this week. Hockey M/T. Opera W. Dinner w/ friends T. Aeros F. I think Saturday is gonna be a righteous DO NOTHING day. If the dog gets a bath, I'll consider myself to have overachieved.


maalivahti  January 19, 2011 at 5:58 AM  

Ugh I hate those games. You feel lower than worm shit afterwards. Just realize that everyone has them and you'll feel better the next day. (Hopefully, by the time you're reading this).

Scott  January 19, 2011 at 8:19 AM  

Hey chin up, losing sucks but it is a great opportunity to see what you need to do to improve. Sounds like the last one was a focus thing and being back after a long trip it's hard to come right back to that. If it makes you feel any better I lost too. I got asked to fill in with the tuesday night league in sugarland. That little step faster and smarter players made me feel like at points in the game I was chasing the puck. Made a bunch of stops but had one brutal one sneak between my leg and the post on a low angle when I was trying to do that split butterfly on the blocker side.

The boys were pretty happy as their last sub let in about 13 I guess but you know I like to win. Man I should start my own blog...

Ms. Conduct  January 19, 2011 at 8:27 AM  

Thanks guys. You know I just have to get my gnashing of teeth and hand wringing out of the way or I don't have a hope in the world of sleeping. I dunno how people without blogs do it. Booze, I guess?

And yeah, definitely being sick and not playing for a couple of weeks was a factor. But still. Jesus.

Nick  January 19, 2011 at 12:38 PM  

Gosh, I don't think our team has won a game yet this season (0-4). The few things keeping me going is that I haven't let in more than 4 goals a game (keep in mind this is roller) and our team has never scored more than 2. You know what you're capable of, let that steer your confidence level. Everyone has the occasional 'whiff it' type mistake once in awhile. I can't wait to hear about the bounce back game in your blog. ;-)

Ms. Conduct  January 19, 2011 at 12:43 PM  

Yeah, my confidence is kinda in the shitter right now, but it's been there before and I fished it out. Always gotta get a little bit dirty to get it done though. :)

Anonymous  January 19, 2011 at 6:25 PM  

Ms havent been asked to not come back i mean, "can our other goalie play for us the next couple games?"...aka the team is looking to go in a new direction...
(DONT COME BACK LOSER)...yeah, THAT was a kick in the nads...but overall i think its best, i dont fit their style of play.
You'll be back in form in no time. I know your next post will be something like


Ms. Conduct  January 20, 2011 at 12:07 AM  

Well, I'm paying to be there so they're stuck with me whether they like it or not.

Can't wait to get back into killer mode. More in frightened bunny mode lately. I'll get there.

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