Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Top 5 Hot Goalies: Getting it right

Puck Daddy featured this video in his headlines yesterday. Let's count the hot goalies:

Okay, I count... none.

Well, Luongo has those long legs, which is hot, but then he's got the mullet, which almost negates the legs.

Who's the Euro kid? Cute, but not hot.

Flower... I love him. LOVE HIM but he's not hot. Not even in his gear, which is where most goalies on the bubble can manage to fall over to the "hot" side.

Hiller? Duck. Next?

Cloutier, I kinda see it but I think we can do a LOT better.

So, I'm gonna give you my 5, in no particular order, because I'm a lover, not a fighter. I'm not about to make a video though, so I'll just give you a song to play and some pictures and you can pretend.

Marty Turco

"Hey baby" photo ripped from the Dallas Morning News

I definitely have a "type" when it comes to goalies. The more they take risks, play the puck, shove guys around, etc. the more I like them. Marty's at the head of the class as far as puck-moving goalies in my book. After the way he hosed several of my fantasy teams last season, I won't be putting him on my teams this fall, but he'll always be on another type of fantasy team.

Marty Brodeur

Photo ripped from National Post

Oh mama. Just one of the greatest goalies in the history of the sport, so proficient at moving the puck they had to put some extra lines on the ice to slow him down, looks great in red, and by all accounts one of the nicest dudes to play the position. Plus, the whole cheating on his wife with his sister-in-law thing... oh, that's naughty. Bad Marty. Bad.

Johan Hedberg

Oh Moose... photo by Getting Pucks Deep

My pal over at Getting Pucks Deep has me in a total froth about this hottie. In fact, she's got so many hot pictures of him, she sent me two and I couldn't choose. Here's the other (click to make big... and if you like that, check this out and guess which photo made me shout "OH MY GOD!"):

Photo by Getting Pucks Deep

Not only is he just straight up soap-opera-star handsome, his nickname is Moose, which is just fuckin' adorable. I wasn't sure how he played and to avoid a total collapse into puckbunnydom, I figured I'd better do some research. Well, this is all I needed to see. Look at him attacking the puck... now that's hot. Typical Wild though, eh? Ugh.

Henrik Lundqvist

Actually, his style of play doesn't thrill me all that much. But dayum. He's blistering hot. Commence collapse into puckbunnydom.

Barry Brust

Photo by Fred Trask

So, I debated this one because I'm trying to tone down the lusty adoration of guys I actually have to cover with some semblance of journalistic integrity. But what the hell... it's still summer and it would be completely disingenuous to leave him off; he's numero uno in my book and everybody knows it.

Brusty's big and foxy, he's got an unorthodox style and swagger and a temper, and when he's hot and healthy, I guarantee a sweaty-palmed, edge-of-your-seat good time watching him play.

Okay, that's my 5. There are some honorable mentions, like Ricky DiPietro, who is gorgeous but fragile as a little baby and a little too "frat boy" for my taste. Scott Clemmensen and Steve Valiquette are also lookers. And Marty Biron's got those eyes and adorable accent. And of course Rejean Beauchemin, who spent a couple of games in Houston and is a stone cold fox (look him up... you won't be disappointed). Rawr. But I had to pick 5.

Ladies... who ya got?


AerosFan  June 18, 2009 at 2:43 PM  

Matt Beaudoin.
I know he's not a goalie, but still.
plus points with playoff beard :)
go #25.

Ms. Conduct  June 18, 2009 at 2:49 PM  

LOL That's a whole separate post.

buddhafisch  June 18, 2009 at 2:53 PM  

Um... am I even allowed to comment on this post?

Glad you have your own list. It would not be a fair discussion without your voice here. You are the only place I go for hot goalie news.

Ms. Conduct  June 18, 2009 at 3:19 PM  

Yes, of course. Boys are welcome, B.

And yeah, when I saw the original video, my thought was, "No no no. MY voice needs to be heard on this!"

Sunshine36616  June 18, 2009 at 3:30 PM  

OMG your list is so much better!

Okay, I do have a Luongo "thing." Yeah, yeah I know, he looks like Borat, but something about him. The heighth? Those bow legs? I don't know, but oh la la. I think Hiller is cute too.
Flower??? I adore Flower and do think he's attractive, but not hot. He's the cutest sweetest little Frenchie Flower ever.
I adore Marty Turco! And of course I adore Brodeur.
If you like rough, unpredictable puck handlers, Moose is your man. He backed up Turco in Dallas, got some great stick handling moves from him. Every coach and trainer says Johan is the best conditioned athlete in the locker room. His team mates love him, too. He was voted the Player's Player 2 years in a row.
Damn, maybe I WILL make my own little video :p

beware the bear(s)  June 18, 2009 at 4:05 PM  

Hedberg, Lundquist yeah! Beauchemin, HOT!
Nr. 25 not a goalie but oh, yeah ;) agreed AerosFan!
Must be the "beau" in their last names that does it for AerosFan and moi ;) ;)

Anonymous  June 18, 2009 at 5:37 PM  

can't forget about Carey Price...;)

Ms. Conduct  June 18, 2009 at 5:41 PM  

You know, I thought about Pricer. He should definitely be in the honorable mentions. But he's gotta get his shit together before I can endorse him. Poor kid.

hipcheck  June 18, 2009 at 8:29 PM  

Ok, I don't know if you've noticed but I love the goallies. And now that Emery is back in the NHL, the crush has totally came back. I love goalies that drop the gloves.

And Al Montoya. At first, I didnt like him but now, rawr.

And then everyone you mentioned.

And Luongo, there is something about him (mullets can be fixed...)

Ok, I can't even type thinking about all these goalies!!!

Life_As_A_Redhead  June 18, 2009 at 10:15 PM  

I am so, so, SO GLAD you put Brusty on that list.

I am in awe of your ability to not simply melt within 500 yards of the guy!!!!!!

"avoid the slide into puckbunnydom" be damned. If it goes with Brusty, I'm as puckbunny as they come. If it wasnt' for him, the Areos wouldn't get anywhere near the attention from me that they do.

Dan 'n STP  June 19, 2009 at 8:16 AM  

So my girlfriend and I are watching the awards last night, and during the Vezina presentation, they scan to Backs all dressed up, and my gf basically fell off the couch looking at him. She has a thing for Fin's I think.

Ms. Conduct  June 19, 2009 at 8:33 AM  

Backy was definitely looking dapper last night. He doesn't do a lot for me personally for whatever reason. Maybe a little too gaunt in the face or something.

Anonymous  June 19, 2009 at 1:55 PM  

I read your blog during my lunch hour; this is the second day in a row that you've given me a special treat. Today I followed your link and saw that water bottle pic - yesterday I wandered across Fred's AWESOME pic of Krys Kolanos SMILING (one on only two in existance (LOL). I've learned not to eat while checking your blog - gasping with food in my mouth could be FATAL!

Ms. Conduct  June 19, 2009 at 2:04 PM  

Aww thanks! I appreciate the kind words.

That water bottle picture is just straight up porn.

CatTrick  June 19, 2009 at 2:08 PM  

It doesn't get any better than that!!!

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