Tuesday, April 12, 2011

You know it's a bad night in goal when you're the other team's MVP

Let's start with this: I love my team. There's not even a "but" coming. I just love them.

We were missing some of our best players tonight against Captain Danglemitts' team (who was not there, fortunately), but they had all their best players except her. So it was a shooting gallery in my end. I saw 28 shots in 42 minutes of play and stayed really busy, especially in the first and second.

I didn't play a bad game overall, BUT... I put TWO of the goals IN the net with MY OWN GLOVE.

Stand on top of a mountain and scream FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK and let it echo off the surrounding mountains and that's pretty much the sound in my head after each one.

They were both shots that, one way or another got past me and were sitting on the goal line. All I had to do was sweep them into my body and we're done. No goal. (Though we still would have lost as the final was 4-1.)

But because I'm a glove retard, I pushed them INTO the goal while trying to snag them. /insert mountain  echo fuck again/

So, even though I stopped probably 5 breakaways and plenty of good shots, you goalies know that even one fuck-up like that can take it all away. Two makes you want to beat yourself to death with your own goalie stick.

I get in the room after and I'm NOT HAPPY. I'm trying to be cool, trying to keep perspective, but then the girls compliment my game and I can't hold it in. "Yeah, good game except for those TWO GOALS I put in with my OWN GLOVE."

So one of the girls says, "Okay, good game, except for those TWO AWFUL GOALS! What were you DOING?" She's kidding of course, but I actually felt a little better hearing that.

So I said, 'Thank you! Exactly!"

And the other girls caught on and I egged them on to just give me shit for my "awful" game. I don't think any of them understood it. I'm not sure I did either, but honest to god, it made me feel better.

I told them I should call one of those phone sex lines (I was thinking of @TeleEroticist's Submissive Line) and pay someone to berate me for my bad game so I feel better.

It's like, when I'm mad at myself for a game, I'm mad at myself as much on my behalf as on theirs. So it's a big burden to carry, their anger and mine. But by them, even jokingly, giving me hell for it, I could give their anger back to them and not have to carry it myself.

Or something like that.

Whatever the case, I had a smile on my face after that and I was able to (mostly) just learn my lesson (don't COVER the puck, put the glove behind the puck and pull it towards me) and move on.

Anyway, I love my team for doing that and for lots of other reasons. This was our last regular season game of the season, which makes me sad. The deck will get shuffled next season and I'll likely have to face the girls I've grown to adore.

If we're still in 1st place, we don't play for 2 weeks -- one bye week and one "play-in" game for the playoffs, which I don't understand --  but hopefully this knocked us into second place and we can play again 2 weeks from now. (Don't try to figure it out.) I just show up when they tell me to and try to get in front of pucks.

Playoffs start tomorrow. Kuemper's team is one loss away from getting swept by Medicine Hat (and best hockey name since Clutter, goalie Tyler Bunz), so maybe he joins the crew soon, too.


klemmer  April 13, 2011 at 8:08 AM  

A wise friend of mine told me this past weekend that it was time to "hit the reset button."

What goes around, comes around.

In other words, all of your brothers and sisters in net have had a game like that at one time or another. It's a learning experience.

Hopefully, you had some buttery nipples to help you afterwards!

Ms. Conduct  April 13, 2011 at 8:14 AM  

Eh, I'm taking this one in stride. If it'd been a playoff game or I'd only seen 15 shots, I'd probably have hung on to it worse. But we actually might have needed to lose in order to get a chance at playing 2 playoff games rather than just 1.

No buttery nipples after. Didn't earn them. Just got in my car and went home. Had the Jays game to listen to. :) Course, they lost, too. :\

Nick  April 13, 2011 at 10:01 AM  

I had some crap like that a couple weeks ago, off my glove and waffled its way over the top and in! Thankfully I didn't feel like it was the deciding goal, but a loss nonetheless. Oh well!

maalivahti  April 25, 2011 at 5:36 AM  

I feel your pain. I'm as clueless with my glove as you say you are, and I've had that happen too. I have to say I absolutely loved the post-game fake-anger from teammates and your analysis of why it made you feel better. Good stuff!

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