I keep hoping St. Louis Blues David Perron will drunk tweet or something. He can't really be as "gee whiz," straight-laced as his Twitter persona, right?
I mean, I'm not looking for him to be rolling shirtless in a limo with a bunch of ladies of questionable attractiveness or beating up cab drivers, but surely there's some edge in there somewhere? Maybe a naughty Eagle Scout badge he earned? Cougar Snaring? I dunno.
Get drunk and do something marginally unethical, boy. If you're not using a few of those free passes they hand out at the "Dude, You Won't Fuckin' Believe the Chicks You're About to Get: An Introduction to Being a Pro Athlete" seminar, then how can we live vicariously through you? Sheesh.
I love when someone has a totally fresh, weird, twisted, strange take on something that's been beat to death by a thousand other people. This how it happens a lot in bloggerdom:
- News "event" happens (actual newsworthiness may vary)
- All the legit people (beat writers, THN guys, etc.) tweet it in a boring legit way, maybe with a dash of analysis or snark from the ones we'd actually wanna have a beer with (sorry Mirtle)
- All the bloggers RT or rephrase the legit people
- All the bloggers then take turns whacking at it like it's on fire
- All the bloggers giggle at how clever we were on that subject
- The really ambitious bloggers will then go blog about it, whether it's how it relates to their team, how it makes them feel, how it's Gary Bettman's fault, how it affects Phoenix moving to Winnipeg, where it makes them itch or tingle, etc.
But occasionally there's someone who is just out there doing their own thing. They react to news but in their own way completely. There aren't many like this but I cherish the ones who have the creativity to do it. A couple of my favorites in hockeydom are Down Goes Brown and The Willful Caboose. I can see new posts from these guys (okay, guy and gal) and know I'm going to get a fresh take every single time.
I was thinking about this because I ran into one for baseball. I don't even understand what's going on really, and I don't even care about the Phillies. But I don't care about Buffalo either, so clearly that doesn't stop me. Anyway it's called I want to go to the zoo with Roy Halliday. Because, who wouldn't? They even have t-shirts. My favorite is the "Kids Drink Free" shirt. Ha! Philly fan...
Kevin Gregg makes me want to drop-kick puppies. Even when he wins, it's done so tenuously, it's almost like a moral loss, where you won, but you played so shitty, you probably didn't deserve it. I've never been so frustrated with an athlete for "almost not" winning. Normally I'd find that pretty exciting, but when it's your closer, it feels like a root canal. It's odd and extremely unpleasant. I can't even imagine how the starters must feel.
I'm thisclose to starting a I want to punch Kevin Gregg in the face blog. He'll have to take those stupid looking glasses off first though. I'm delicate. But I bet Brett Cecil would hold him down for me while I do it. Mmm. Cecilicious.
Hockey is over. It's been over several times. Aeros season ended (sans playoffs) and it was over. Constantine left town and it was over. Brusty left town and it was over. All the teams I was fond of in the playoffs were eliminated and it was over. And now, it's just over. Yeah, the AHL finals are still going on, and I'm pulling for Texas, but whatever. It's over.
I always feel a little lost and rudderless this time of year. I'm cranky and withdrawn and, well, depressed. That's really what it is.
But this ain't my first rodeo and I know it will pass. We've got the draft coming, then Free Agency, then AUGUST (FU, you sweaty, worthless POS month), then things start to happen and life becomes worth living again.