Monday, August 18, 2008

What a effing relief!

The important piece of the Aeros gameday puzzle (if you have a penis) is finally in place. The lovely Aerodynamics have been selected for the 2008-2009 season. Phew!

I know I was on the edge of my seat about that because really, nothing says Calder Cup Contenders like a troupe of scantily clad college girls gyrating to a few songs and throwing t-shirts.

Honestly, I know that's just how it is these days. Every sports team (except baseball, apparently) has to have some eye candy because being at a hockey game where guys are hitting each other and bleeding out their ears just isn't testosterony enough. T&A, good; neutral zone trap, bad. I dig. Whatever.

All I'd ask is that the gals take a lesson from the Texans cheerleaders in terms of hair and make-up. Sometimes... well... we're looking a little bit like we should be slithering around in a thong with dollar bills stuck in our cleavage. I'm just saying. Too much make-up, overbleached hair... just class it up a little. You're all naturally pretty girls. Stop trying so hard.

Meanwhile, I really feel for Kristin and the gas bills she's gonna have. I'm not sure it's worth the drive from Nacogdoches for this gig alone.

I'll end on two positive notes in the midst of being a catty bitch:

  1. The girls were pretty game last year when it came to post-game skates or skate-with-the-player events. Even if they were obviously not comfortable on skates, a few of them got out there and gave it a go and interacted with the fans, esp. the little kids. Anybody who will put themselves out there like that and interact with the little kids is okay in my book because it keeps the kids away from me.
  2. The more little dance routines they do during the game or intermissions, the less opportunity there is for those horrid kiddie choirs to sing God Bless America or a hymn or a Christmas Carol (welcome to the Bible Belt). Just shoot me dead. I hate that shit. I'd rather see marginally hot chicks dancing instead of listening to that ANY day. Unless they start dancing to God Bless America or This Little Light of Mine, at which point I may just go to the upper deck and jump off.

7 comments:

tami  August 18, 2008 at 7:34 PM  

Shine all over Litteby City... (I had some trouble pronouncing "Liberty" as a child.) And I see a fellow Bearkat alum has made the team. Rawr.

It makes me a little sad that these are the jobs available to dance majors. It's hard to make a living in any of the arts, though. You know that most of these women are capable of a hell of a lot more than shaking pompoms and T&A around an athletic arena.

Life_As_A_Redhead  August 18, 2008 at 8:16 PM  

Amen sister. I like kids and all, but most of the time I REALLY don't like parents. Yes bring your kids to the game. NO, NO, NO don't let them run around & scream like heathens.

I can't stand the kiddie chiors either. If you can't keep your snotty nose wiped, you don't need to be trying to put on some other type of performance.

I find that there's quite enough "eye candy" in hockey already for me.

Ms. Conduct  August 18, 2008 at 8:31 PM  

Tami, I'm not sure I like this "voice of reason" side of you, my dear. I'm feeling a little guilty (only a little) for my catty bitchiness now. Only a very little.

They don't have pompoms. Oh wait, maybe they do. Hell, I can't remember because I'm always looking at their boobs. ;)

tami  August 18, 2008 at 8:38 PM  

My sincerest and most humble apologies. I actually did start to qualify it--actually consulted DH and he said I was overthinking a blog comment. Eh, what does he know?

I was worried that I was starting down the slippery slope that would lead to my making lengthy and verbose proclamations about the correlation between the decline of arts and the downfalls of civilizations so I just shut up.

Please, not even the slightest hint of a trace of a guilt about catty bitchiness on my behalf. It's one of my favorite qualities.

tami  August 18, 2008 at 8:57 PM  

I've got the natters tonight apparently, but I wanted to add that your post isn't what provoked what you so poetically termed the "voice of reason." I laughed outright at your original (and the follow-up). But when I followed the link and saw that the Aerodynamics (barfola, btw) were all college students and graduates, the ruminations started.

I am really and truly shutting up now. For a bit.

Ms. Conduct  August 18, 2008 at 8:58 PM  

I'm just teasing you. I actually appreciate the perspective.

Let's all give ourselves a hug. *hug*

hipcheck  August 18, 2008 at 11:20 PM  

I tried out for the Pack last year. Sadly, the have let the pack go and are focusing mainly on what they called the snow patrol. The girls that looked bored to death handing out tshirts. At least the dancers always had a smile on their face and acted like they were having fun.

And yah, I wanted to be a dance major but all you can do is teach and dance teams for sports (neither of which pay well). That and I love food and I'm not eaxactly dancer body material. :)

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