Friday, December 10, 2010

Quick Hits: 'Come on, man!' Edition

So I was sitting there watching Sabres v. Sharks because Miller's in goal for my fantasy team last night (man, is that guy good. Just clean, focused, sharp. Show-off.) And they show this Degree antiperspirant commercial featuring Ryan Miller that talks about how the deodorant kicks into gear when you really need it like when you're being the best goalie in the world.

I had to laugh because a) Crunchy doesn't give a flying fuck if he stinks when he's playing. He's wearing stinky gear, surrounded by stinky men, in a building that smells like Zamboni exhaust, stale beer, and cold, musty concrete. (If only they made hockey arena-scented candles...)

And b) he's sweating so much that unless you're smearing that stuff all over him and suffocating his pores, ain't nothing stopping the Sweat Machine that is a goalie. Maybe Crunchy sweats less than a regular person because he's 7 feet tall and weighs 137 lbs, but still...

Come on, man!

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The other day I heard an interview with some DJ asking the lead singer of the Constellations what their song "Felicia" is about.

What the hell do you think it's about?



Come on, man! 


Of course, the singer isn't gonna say, "Well, it's an ode to fellatio... dumbass" so he says some BS about "Felicia" being a combination of various girls he's known. Good for you, buddy. Come on...

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My girl Ally posted this video on Facebook and since I wanna be just like Justin Bourne, I'm gonna throw it up here cuz we know people love animals on hockey blogs.



I was telling Jerina that it reminded me of me in goal. I occasionally get chest-puffed out, jersey-poppin, arms-spread excited when I accomplish even the most obvious and simple things in goal. Hey, when you're a flightless bird, some things aren't as obvious and simple as they look... so just... shut up and let us enjoy our victories.

Not really a "come on, man" to that... sorry for going off-theme.

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I could not do what I do as far as hockey writing, particularly the goalie stuff, without Google Alerts. I get an email every day for each alert I have set up, so I get all the articles about goalies I'm keeping tabs on. Brusty, Tordjman, Khudobin, Jaeger, etc.

I also have one set for Darcy Kuemper so I can keep up with his final season in Juniors with Red Deer. His Google Alert email is becoming one of my favorites for its wonderful predictability.

Pretty much every day, it's an article from some beat writer somewhere in the WHL bemoaning their team's loss to the Red Deer Rebels because Darcy Kuemper made a shit-load of saves. 

I've been excited about Wild prospects, but I've never been THIS excited about one. Like, I saw a woman wearing his Aeros sweater from last year at a game recently and kinda went, "Awww, I want that!"

Mostly, I'm terrified that the Wild are going to use him as trade bait.

Come on, man! Mama needs a special goalie.

2 comments:

Marienne  December 10, 2010 at 2:19 PM  

Dude, you know that ads that air during hockey games are only peripherally targeted at people who have practical working knowledge of hockey, right?

Well, either that, or they're counting on fame-by-association rather than any impression of in situ usefulness. I don't know, I sort of sit back and laugh at a lot of that advertising, but I'm also chronically sleep deprived, so...

Isn't it awesome to have prospects you can get crazy-excited over? I'll keep my fingers crossed that he doesn't turn into trade-bait. I'm kind of worried about that with a couple of the up & coming Caps guys, too.

Sorry I've been absent, lately! Been working 5 days a week at the arena in/around end of term classes, and I came down with a ridiculous upper respiratory infection (the day of my reffing seminar, of course) that almost made it to pneumonia before it turned the corner. Finally, finally getting healthy again (and reffing my first paid game tomorrow morning!).

Ms. Conduct  December 10, 2010 at 3:15 PM  

Ugh. Sorry about the upper respiratory junk. I'm desperately hoping I avoid the crud this winter. The last two years, I've been obliterated by it for weeks on end. Stupid hockey germs.

Congrats on the officiating gig! Can't wait to hear how it goes!

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