So, put the stick where, d-man?

Remember how I bragged on my awesome d-man talking to me in a way that's useful? Well, tonight I had the opposite happen. I was so focused on my new pads feeling weird (more on that later) that I didn't really think about it until I was driving home, but the more I think about it, the more absurd it is.

So, hot shot in the Crosby jersey is charging into the slot. He does a little deke to my glove side as he sets up to shoot and I have to slide over a touch as I'm dropping into my butterfly.

Well, he beat me to the punch and the puck went just under my left pad, bing bang boom. Meh, whatever, I'm still getting used to these pads and I'm distracted by them and my timing is off. It's drop-in. No big deal.

But then my defenseman comes to me, unsolicited, and says...

"If you keep your stick on the ice, that won't go through."

*ahem*

I said (imagine me using the Marcel the Shell voice), "I think it went under my pad actually."

"Oh, I dunno, I didn't see it."

You what now? You have advice for me on a goal you didn't see?

Awesome.

No, I'd never heard of this stick on the ice thing. Why didn't one of you bitches tell me about this before? I've been lifting it up on purpose because I'm a complete and utter fucking idiot.

I have nothing more to say about that. But I'll certainly endeavor to try incorporating this "stick on the ice" newfangledry into my game.

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New pads were... awkward.

On the upside: My knees are SOOO HAPPPYYYYYYY!!!! I was pegging my net and that was my first butterfly on the ice. It was like landing in a big pile of cotton balls. Glorious! Babies could sleep blissfully in my knee padding. It's magic.

On the downside: Have you ever tried to slide laterally on a big pile of cotton balls? My first attempt at butterfly sliding turned into a butterfly block that went absolutely nowhere, until I got up and fished the puck out of the net.

Also, there's like 3x as much padding between my knees and the very most annoying thing about the pads was being unable to stand like I always do when the play is away from me. I know that sounds weird, but it was really goddamn annoying. I had no idea I stood in such a specific way, but I do. I put most of my weight on my left leg and kinda jut my left hip out.

I think I do it because I'm set to move from there. If my weight is balanced between my feet, then I have to load to one side and then make a move. But because the knee stacks are so thick, I can't comfortably stand shifted any more.

It's something I know I'll get used to but it was surprisingly distracting all game long. And I played like dog shit. Literally. A pile of dog shit woulda stopped more pucks.

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I had more but now I have hiccups and they're giving me a headache. So I'll leave it with this song, which kicked me out of my funk on the way to the rink tonight. Sending this out to my friend who isn't enjoying his job right now ;)...