Goalie Porn and when a win keeps you up at night...

First of all, I want to point you guys to a new blog that started yesterday (but in the making for a LONG time) that is 100% pictures of goalies doing sexy things, like being incredibly bendy or doing that water bottle thing or smiling or making glove saves or whatever.

It's all goalie porn, all the time and it's been a long time coming. Check it out at http://GoingFive-Hole.blogspot.com. They also have a Twitter you can follow.

Fuck me, I'm pretty jazzed about that. Gonna need some fresh batteries...

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Women's league was kinda weird last night. The game was moved up an hour but the other goalie didn't get the message (I didn't either, actually, I just happened to see it on the League's Facebook page), so we played the first period with a shooter tutor in the other net and got up 5-1 early.

She was in net by the second period (thank god, or I was gonna have to play for their team for a period and I wasn't entirely comfortable with that).

Anyway, we won 9-4 (though I think of it as more like 4-3). I made a lot of stops and it seems like all but one goal against was on a breakaway or in an odd-man situation where the shooter basically had time and space to have their way with me.

The fourth was a case of the teams being in such similar jersey colors (Teal vs. Green) that in my peripheral vision, I thought the person by my net was on my team (green), so I didn't load for a big push when a teal player passed the puck across my crease and whaddaya know, she was teal. Fuck. Of course, in retrospect, I should have loaded to push across regardless.

Anyway, what was weird about this game was that my team was really happy with my play. My captain even gave me one of the two little "goodies" she gives to the players of the game, one defensive and one offensive.

And yet, I spent all night tossing and turning, literally dreaming of the goals against and trying to stop them in my sleep and jerking myself awake (not as fun as it sounds).

I think the color confusion goal bugs me quite a bit. And then their captain scored on me on clean breakaways twice in EXACTLY the same way. Fuck. This gal may be the reason I finally learn to throw a two pad stack because I'm determined to shut that shit down.

I feel like a damn fool when I let a goal in ON the ice on a relatively slow (but very dekey, patient) play... TWICE. I need to channel my inner Brusty and just go balls out on her now that she thinks she knows what I'll do.

Gah, I'm all tense just thinking about it again.

I just need to...

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Ozzie and Drop-in Tilt-a-Whirl

Chris Osgood isn't one of my favorite goalies, but 400 wins in the NHL is a tremendous accomplishment. My friend Justin, who has taught me SO much about watching goalies but still has more goalie knowledge in his pinkie finger than I ever will, has a great post on Osgood today.

Even though I'll admit to being lumped into the masses of underappreciators when it comes to Ozzie, I obviously relate to having that one goalie who embodies the position and was the catalyst for what is sure to be a lifelong passion. Ozzie is Justin's Brusty (minus the lusty part), so I enjoyed his tribute to him on multiple levels and thought it was worth passing along.

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Drop-in was a circus last night. First half behind the white team was a nightmare. I think I made 3 stops the whole 30 minutes. It was breakaways and odd man rushes from the outset, which undermined my mental toughness a bit. Not to mention, one of the dark players really got under my skin in warm-ups by beating me on every shot he took. And he was the one doing most of the cherry picking. Grr.

The goalie switch couldn't come fast enough for me. And it turns out I was justified in my irritation because it was like an entirely different game at the other end. I had great defense and, in turn, I played really well. The white team, as hapless as they were defensively, sure knew how to hold the zone, so I stayed pretty busy and played better for it (though my knee is paying today, dammit!)

Had some sick saves in the second half. My best was on a breakaway, the kid tried to cut across from my blocker side to my glove side. He got the shot off right over my pad, but I had my glove there and trapped the puck in my glove and then pinned it against the side of my outstretched leg pad. Snazzy.

And one of my defensemen told me I need to put Stickum in my glove after I bobbled the puck like 3 times on a save. Doh! It was classic and stick figure worthy, but I'm too lazy. Finally pinned the damn thing against my chest and we had a laugh. I'm so hopeless glove-side, it's non-stop comedy.

Anyway, women's league tonight. I'm a little bit walking wounded today, but it's mostly just turning my head sharply and walking up stairs that hurts. Maybe that will save me from getting drunk after the game tonight if we win. Then again, there's an elevator up to the bar....

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Back to business...

Hope all you crazy kids had a good Christmas, or at least a good few days off if you don't roll Christian-style.

Mine was good. Very low key since we stayed home. Not a drop of hockey to play, which means I was stuck with the dreaded REAL WORKOUTS. You know how I hate that. But it's okay. Had to balance out the apple pie...

Got back in the swing of things today with the Aeros game, which you can read about here because I covered for Andrew, who was in Green Bay freezing his keister off at the Packers game.

Nice to get an early goal and a win in the skills competition.

Hackett's getting better in all areas except playing the puck. I know I'm spoiled in that regard, but he's just rough at it. The issue isn't technical skill; it's reading the ice and decision making.

Too many hesitant plays where he seems to want to defer to the skaters rather than just quarterbacking that bitch, launching it up the ice, and letting the chips fall where they may.

I know it will get better and I suspect it's something that only gets better with experience but, man, it's tough to watch. I stand by my rule of, just let the D get it if puck movement isn't in your wheelhouse as a goalie. Not every goalie has to be a third defenseman to be successful.

Anyway, check out my hack ass giving advice. Ha! Speaking of, my hack ass has got games Monday and Tuesday. Looking forward to hitting the ice again. Then only ONE game the week after. :( And then it's off to Boston/Vermont/(beyond?) the following Thursday-Tuesday, so another week without playing.

Which means more real workouts. Suckkkkk. But I'm moving to "phase 2" of my goalie training this week, so that should be fun. After I get back from my trip, I'm starting yoga for a few weeks. Got a deal for 10 hour-long yoga sessions for $30 total. What a steal. I'm looking forward to a change of pace and it looks like I'll have company from a good friend. Everything's better with Sheala. Well, everything I've tried, anyway. ;)

And luckily, goaltending has taught me the humility to not give much of a fuck when I make an ass out of myself. I've always done yoga at home with just me and the TV watching. Going public is a little daunting, but hey, we all start somewhere. If embarrassment hasn't killed me yet, it won't ever.

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Last Dance

I wrote this yesterday but got busy on the post below about applying graphics to my goalie mask, and I failed to publish this one... 

I'm still buzzing today after an awesome game at novice league last night. As I mentioned earlier this week, it was my last game for a while in that league. I've had my ups and downs there, but I'd really grown fond of my team the last couple of seasons and had a moment early in the game were I got a little choked up realizing it was my last time with this particular group.

But I put that aside and turned that sentimentality into hustle and played probably my best game ever. The game ended up 6-2, I think. Not sure on the 6. They failed to put a 2nd period goal on the board (yes, there WAS a goal in the 2nd because I remember audibly cheering for it, which I don't usually do, and then felt a little bad for, but they were up 2-1 at that point and I was feeling a little desperate). And then the rest of the goals came late in the third so I'm not sure how many they ended up getting.

Anyway, the two goals against were screens. First one was my d-man moving right through my field of vision as the puck was shot. It was flying past me before I even knew it was shot.

Second one was about 5 people in my way. I went down to try and stop low shots but it went in over my shoulder (maybe? I dunno. It went in, regardless.)

The red team did a great job putting traffic in front of me and a couple of times going down when I *thought* they were about to shoot paid off with some sneaky pad/toe saves. Phew!

My defense was freaking AWESOME, too, bailing me out a few times when I lost the puck down in front of my pads (this is happening to me too much lately, BTW... I think I have a glove on it, but it's just sitting there. Eep!)

And a couple of my guys are just beasts at blocking passing lanes. Honestly, I love the self-sacrifice of shot blockers, but putting the kibosh on passes in front of my crease is superhero shit in my book. Capes for everybody!

I was worried we weren't going to get the scoring we needed to pull off the win, but they pulled it out at the end and started racking 'em up late in the third. It was awesome to not have to sweat the last few minutes. I was so proud of the boys (and gal!)

That was the hardest I've worked in a long time, too. I really thought I was gonna barf late in the third. This is why I play on an empty stomach! I was busting it and so in the zone and seeing the puck so well that I think if people had started shooting bullets at me, I could have tracked them.

It felt just like that shutout game I had in women's league a while back. Just perfect energy (both mental and physical), perfect focus, great vision (which is saying something for me) and a great team in front of me keeping shots to the outside and breaking up dangerous plays.

The fact that I've had two games like that recently really have me feeling positive about how my game is improving. I know shit games are still gonna come and I have a tremendous amount to work on, but these "knock it outta the park" nights really diminish the influence a bad game has on my confidence.

I'm sure drop-in tonight will put me back in my place, but it's fun to feel like Queen of the Crease for a while.

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First run at applying vinyl graphics

Ages ago, we had a post on InGoal Mag about companies starting to experiment with using vinyl applications to "paint" goalie masks. I was pretty excited about that possibility because I've never been sold on shelling out $500 for the paint job of my dreams.

But it wasn't really a mainstream thing. Just a couple of sign-making companies in Quebec dabbling in it. Not the sort of thing you can just click "Buy" and have shipped to your door.

Then a couple of weeks ago, IGM again reported on Head Strong Grafx, who finally has come out with vinyl graphics on a turnkey basis. They have about 20 designs and you can pick your color, or for an upcharge, you can get metallic or other finishes.

But really, I was left with a LOT of questions about what I was going to get from them. In fact, it took me a while to even figure out that the application didn't cover the whole mask. I'm a little slow.

Anyway, I figured for $25, it was worth a shot, so I ordered a set of flames in white to go on my solid black Hackva.

It took them about a week to get here and what I got was 3 smaller flame graphics and 2 large ones cut out from a larger sheet. The graphic is sandwiched between a tacky translucent backing and a stiffer, non-sticky blue backing.

The instructions for application are on their web site, but here's my much more detailed take, with some of my own experiences thrown in. 

What you need:
Bowl of soapy water
Soft cloth to apply soapy water
Sharp Exacto knife
Credit card, driver's license, etc. for squeegeeing the graphic smooth

1. Take your cage off and then clean your mask with Windex or something similar. If you need to touch up paint or anything, I'd do it at this point.
2. Place the graphics on the mask and see where you might want to put them. Keep in mind that it's exponentially easier to put the graphics on a flat surface or where there's only one curve. When the same piece of the graphic has to curve two ways, like on the side of your chin, where it's curving forward and down, it's very difficult to avoid wrinkles. More on that later.
3. Peel BLUE backing layer away so that the graphic is stuck to the translucent layer. (Aside: I've spent 35 years using bandaids, so when I saw a flap where the translucent layer overlaps itself, I assumed that's where I'm supposed to peel. I WAS WRONG. DON'T DO THAT. Ruined one of the big flame graphics doing that.)
4. Wipe a thin layer of the soapy water on the area of the mask you want to apply the first section of graphics. If you apply too much water and the graphic is sliding around too much, just wipe it off and start over with a lighter layer. You want the tackiness of the graphic to come through enough to stay in place while you squeegee the bubbles out.
5. Place the graphic on the mask and smooth it down with your fingers. As mentioned above, if it's not generally staying in place, it's too wet. Press as much down with your fingers as you can before doing to the squeegee.
6. Use the credit card squeegee to press the graphic down. Really rub it on there. Here's my suggestion for wrinkles you can't fix: Just leave them, and after you take the backing off, you can cut the wrinkle with the xacto knife to flatten it and just overlap the excess. You really can't see it. What I recommend against is smooshing the vinyl or trying stretch it. It just doesn't work and will look like crap.
7. Now, their instructions say to let them dry before you pull the backing off. I didn't do that, but you probably should. I was too impatient to see it if would work, but I'm here to tell you it does. So once you've applied all the graphics and let them dry, you can peel the backing off carefully. I found that peeling back sharply (but slowly) rather than pulling UP on the paper works better. The flame design (and several others) have lots of pointy edges, so just be sure as you're pulling the paper off that those stay down.
8. Trim the excess from around vent holes and edges of the mask with the exacto knife.

Here are pics. You can click to embiggen them. 

Getting started: 5 decal segments, clean mask, soapy water

One of the small graphics with the blue backing peeled off, sticky side exposed.

First graphic added

All graphics applied

  

Had a hard time getting the chin portion of the graphic to lay down flat and ended up smooshing and tearing it. So I had to patch it with some extra flame bits. Looks fine from a distance but not real swift up close. This is where a simple slice with the exacto would have been the smart thing to do.

Final look with paint chips touched up, excess trimmed, and cage back on.

I'm pretty happy with the final look. I had to improvise after I screwed up one of the big flame graphics, and went asymmetrical, but I like how it turned out. And I like that when I get tired of it or it gets dinged up, I can peel it off and do something else. I figure I'll change it up a couple times a year just for shits and giggles. 

There's a 15% discount on right now for InGoal Magazine subscribers through Christmas, so I may pick up another one on the cheap for next time. Also, they'll customize letters or numbers for you. I'm thinking I need "LFB" for my back plate, yeah? Haha... ;)

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Kassian dream, Subbing, Shaft saves, Mall hockey, S&M

There needs to be a word for those little dreams you have between snoozes on your alarm clock. You know what I'm talking about? I guess you remember them more because you wake up so quickly after them. They need a name.

I had a funny one this morning. In fact, I woke up laughing, which is the second best way to wake up, IMO.

I dreamed that I was in goal and Matt Kassian was shooting on me and I was stopping EVERYTHING he put on me. He just could. not. score.

So he started getting frustrated, not in a mean way, but really determined. Trying to pick the corners, fake me, freeze me, anything. Shot after shot.

Finally, I just stopped him by my net after a glove save and gave him a big hug and we laughed about it.

How nice is that dream? I'm an awesome goalie, I'm hugging a big foxy hockey player, and I'm laughing. I'm not sure it gets any better.

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Had a fun surprise last night of subbing for a group at Memorial City. Finally an ice time that doesn't have me up until 2 a.m.! Just a quick hour of hockey, but it was mid-afternoon before I knew about it so I wasn't as prepared as I'd normally be.

Like, I wouldn't have stayed out drinking until 1 the night before. I would have been hydrating during the day. I would have eaten more. On and on. So I actually got really light-headed with about 10 minutes left. So much that I went down on my knees just to make sure that if I did pull a Pavelec, I wouldn't have far to fall.

God, that would have been embarrassing. In a mall filled with holiday shoppers, with a new bunch of skaters, etc. Lordy.

Fortunately, I felt better after about 5 minutes of just praying they kept the puck away from me so I could gather myself (and they did, thankfully).

It's funny how different groups that play together a lot develop a style of play. At my Monday drop-in, there's quite a bit of work behind the nets and passing low in the slot, back door attempts, etc.

At this one (which has a very drop-in vibe, even though there's a ref) pretty much everybody just shoots the puck. Most of the passing seems to be done above the hash marks. So I got burned a few times cheating on the pass. I ALWAYS made the save when I just took the shooter and challenged them.

Not sure if it's always like that but that'll be my approach next time. I wasn't real happy with my game, but I never am when I play with a new group for the first time. Takes me a game or two to figure out the tendencies of the group.

I had a good time though, in spite of not feeling super duper. Nice group of folks.
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I've noticed that one save that seems to really frustrate shooters is with the shaft of my stick. It's such a small, narrow thing, it must really irk them when I flash the wood. ;)

Honestly, I'm not sure whether to attribute those saves (and I make them fairly regularly... more than glove saves, sadly) to dumb luck or some fantastical 6th sense. I'm telling my ego it's just a gift I have. But I'm pretty sure it's just dumb luck. Whatever. I'll take it.

Only problem is it nearly knocks the stick out of my hand sometimes, if it's a hard shot. The tape around the top of my paddle where I hold it has really helped with that though.

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It's always funny playing at Memorial City Mall during the holidays because at one end of the rink is the main entrance to the mall, with some activities, like a rock climbing wall, and some other stuff. Hell, I think Santa might even be back there.

They have tables and chairs set up right by the glass for people to have a seat and snack, so you get some glass bangers along with just amused onlookers.

 Last night someone was taking pictures. I kept seeing the flash behind me, and all I could think was that if this slow ass rec league is interesting enough for you to take pictures of it, you REALLY need to get to an Aeros game. The Aeros need to be advertising the shit out of that place.

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Stopped a hard shot with my bicep last night. Like, just stopped it cold. We're all looking around for the puck and it's just laying on my arm. O hai!

Anyway, not much of a bruise yet, but damn if those bicep shots don't hurt for days after. So much padding... so many bruises... It's amazing.

Pucks are just 6 oz. of pure sadism. And I like it.

In fact, is goaltending just one big sado-masochistic act? I mean, don't you feel like you've "really played" when you've collected a few ouchie spots? And isn't that a great feeling? Maybe you don't quite get off on it, but ... maybe you do a little? ;)

Maybe I just need to get laid. That's probably it.

Happy Thursday!

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Badger Attack! and Brusty article (updated w/ PDF)

Awww, I love women's league. The gals are awesome and, while I'd love to say that my team is the awesomest, I think any of the teams would be a blast to play on.

But my team probably is the awesomest. At least at the bar after a win.

That free pitcher of beer was a drop in the bucket compared to the parade of pitchers and car bombs that came after it last night. God bless 'em. What fun.

The car bomb appears to be the "shot" of choice in this crew. I'm not sure why, other than it's supposed to taste like chocolate. If you haven't had one, it's half a bottle of Guinness, and a shot glass with Bailey's and Jameson's. You can drop the shot in or just pour (our method, so you don't break a tooth on the shot glass).

Mostly just tasted like funky Baileys to me, but this was after a few Shiners, so I really didn't care what it tasted like.

Of course, you indulge in this nonsense and then have to sit around for a while to get your land legs back. No big deal. Lots of laughs.

As for the game, as usual, you just never know what to expect. Turns out my team is REALLY good at holding the zone, so I maybe stopped 10 pucks all night. MAYBE. I let two in. One was a backdoor feed that I shoulda dived for but, as usual, didn't react fast enough.

The other was a breakaway and I guess I bit on a fake shot low and she popped it over my blocker shoulder. Dammit. Even when I know what she's going to do, she beats me at it.

But we won 3-2. I literally did not see a single shot the entire second period. My hair had dry spots still, which NEVER happens. It was a very easy night for me. I definitely did not earn all that booze.

The orange team (Harvard Crimson -- don't try to make sense of the jersey colors) didn't have a couple of their best girls but they're gonna be scary from a breakaway perspective this season. I'll get good practice at that.

Ahhh, so much fun. I fucking love hockey.

And speaking of which, don't miss this fantastic feature piece on Brusty that ran in the Bingo paper today. (They're sending me a PDF of the actual layout in the paper later today, because I guess they did something special around it. E-mail me if you want me to forward it to you.) Being the awesome people they are there at the Binghamton Press and Sun-Bulletin, they gave me permission to post the PDF here so everyone can see it! Thanks guys!

I don't really know what else to say about my goalie that I haven't said a million times already. So, I made up a new word: BAMFtastic. Brusty is BAMFtastic.

I considered GILFtastic but decided that might be awkward and inappropriate. So let's all pretend I didn't say that and I can avoid embarrassing myself. *ahem* I may still be a little drunk.


Oh, and speaking of potential drunken embarrassments, I've got my ticket to Boston for early January! Have fucking amazing seats for the Boston - Minnesota game on the 6th. Like, I 100% guarantee I'll end up on the Wild broadcast, these seats are so good.

I'm going with some guy I don't know, though, so I hope to god that Kiss Cam doesn't find us.

Then it's a short drive over to Vermont for a few days, and hopefully the stars will align and Brusty will have a start that weekend in Bingo, and I'll trek over to see him play if the roads allow it. Regardless, I'm killing so many birds with this stone, it's not even funny.

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