Sunday, November 29, 2009

Occupado....

So, here I am at 2 a.m. again, kind of in disbelief at the bevy of discomforts that strep has afforded me. Tonight, my throat hurts still but isn't the main thing. It's the cough that has ramped up to ridiculous levels. And all I got for that from the doc were these little pearl things that I'm only supposed to take every 8 hours, but wear off in about 3. You do the math there. Glad the coughologists aren't trying to get people to the moon or anything. "What? We're not there yet? And we're out of gas?"

I'm about to just start swilling whatever is in the liquor cabinet, except I think all we have is tequila, vodka, and cheap amaretto. (Fuck it. I just took Nyquil.)

But I guess there are few goalies out there who wouldn't mind if I put a shot or 5 of tequila under their noses tonight.

I'm glad I'm not playing for a few days. I always get a little edgy about watching On The Fly on a "bad for goalies" night. I'm afraid seeing all those pucks go in the net equates to negative mental imagery and I will fall victim, too.

Valiquette, for one, just got shelled. You rarely see a pro tender get left in a game for 8 goals against, but Lundqvist got lit the night before and was getting a needed break. So Vali was it. It was tough to watch the highlights because they all come boom boom boom (which is sort of how my real life games go sometimes... it's like GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! Routine save, but hey, at least it was a save. GOAL! GOAL!) and don't really give any context.

Biron and the Islanders were shellacked by Fatso and the Devils. And Deslauriers got yanked from the Oilers game. And the way OTF shows them in rapid succession, you can just see the body language start to sag a little more after each goal, but then by the last one, it's like, "*shrug* Of course it went in." Man, I know that feeling so well.

Meanwhile, on a personal front, it wasn't a terrible day for my darlings out in the hockey world.

Started with the Aeros picking up a 2-1 OT win in Toronto, which was a great way to end the road trip up north. And now they have a few days to recover and practice little details like scoring goals. Dubie was good but not overly challenged (21 shots) in the effort, it seemed to me. The defense was just solid in front of him.

Then it was up to Kalamazoo (wherever the hell that is... where's my map, Ms. South Carolina?) to check in on Brusty and the Blades. When the game started, Chris Beckford-Tseu (affectionately called "Chrissy" by my hockey-going buddies back when I sat in seats where I could yell things at goalies) was in goal.

Everyone in Florida told me Blades coach Malcolm Cameron NEVER pulls a goalie (insert goalie pulling joke, because I KNOW you're all pervs like me and want to). Well, 3 goals in 15 minutes on 17 shots (really not that outrageous given the shot count) is apparently Cameron's limit and he gave CBT the hook and put Brusty in.

B-squared was concentrating hard on being the best back-up goalie possible, though, and let in a quick goal. Amazingly, down 6-2, the Blades staged a 4 goal come-back in the 3rd period and tied it up in the exciting final seconds.

Can't say I enjoyed it personally, because I was too pissed it took two periods and busting the balls of two goalies for them to finally look like they gave a damn. I'm not gonna play games here: my interest in the Everblades relates 100% to getting Brusty back in the AHL where he belongs ASAP. This means plum stats and lots of Ws, because unless you're watching how bad the defensive play is down there, you're thinking, "WTF is going on with that guy?"

So, if the Blades are gonna dish out these endless breakaways and odd-man rushes and turnovers and forechecking like you might break a nail, well, I'm gonna have to dust off the big guns. *kisses biceps*

Of course, they played their cans off in the third and OT, and then can't get any of 9 (NINE!) shootout attempts past the Kalamazoo goalie. You just put 4 past him in one period and your 9 best shooters can't beat him once? OMG. If I had a mind to lose, I'd have lost it. I'd bag skate the snot out of those guys next time there's a couple of days off.

I said tonight that I'm thisclose to launching a "Free Brusty" campaign -- I've been kinda bored with not having the old Cal for Calder campaign to annoy people with. None of this piddly button business though. I'm talking t-shirts. Problem is... don't wear them in German-speaking countries, ladies... or if you do, carry some pepper spray. I'm just saying.

In the new tradition of the T3I stick figure drawings, I'm thinking something like this:

I'm not sure if that's a croc or a gator. Not even sure what it SHOULD be. But let's just assume it's the right one.

(BTW, it's now 3:30, I'm still coughing and wide awake, but clearly... CLEARLY... not entirely lucid.)

ANYWAY...

Then, I had an eye on the box score for the Brahmas, which also went into a shootout at 3-3. Sorry to say, Jaegs had a good game but let the first three shootout shots in and doomed the skills competition for his team. But I was happy that he finally had a pretty good game in regulation and OT, and his team showed a little more discipline than usual. They've been a bunch of brawling, PIM racking-up, angry mofos since the season started. It's been tough to watch all those PP goals go in.

BTW, here's a great photo set from their game the night before (and a great, descriptive write up here) in which Joe Palmer, Jaeger's partner in goal, got in a fight with the other goalie. They actually tried to go earlier in the game and the ref broke 'em up as you can see in the earlier pics. But they finally met at center ice and Palmer had his way with the other guy. Look at the other players faces in some of the fight shots. EVERYONE loves a goalie fight, even players (maybe not the goalies though).

And I wrapped up my night with a Wild win in Colorado. Always a great thing to beat the stinking Avs in their own oxygen-depleted barn, and even greater that Lats potted one. He's been a nice addition thus far, but I'm holding my breath for the reputed "lazy" Guy to emerge. No declarations on that trade coming for a while. And Aeros call-up Jaime Sifers played quite well on defense, proving pivotal in several plays as the night went on. It was a fun one for sure.

It's 4 now. I actually fell asleep writing this (just like how you fell asleep reading it... haha) and woke up... coughing!

Fuck yeah. Sleep is for dead people and babies, bitches. If I were a character on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I'd totally declare myself "Awake Girl," the superhero whose amazing power is she never sleeps. And I'd make a cape out of trash bags and somehow try to make a quick buck off it, but would ultimately fail and go back to huffing glue and eating cat food.

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Strep, the new TV, and hockey

So it turns out I have strep throat. And it also turns out that strep is pretty goddamn awful. Have you had this before? Oh man. It's really painful... in the throat mostly, but also the coughing, the headache, heavy sinuses, swollen lymph nodes, aching ears. It's like if Clutterbuck was the common cold, strep is like Steve Ott. Hits you in the same places, but way dirtier.

I hate getting shots, but I would have gladly let them shoot me up with whatever they wanted if it meant I'd feel better sooner. I was fighting back tears at the doc-in-a-box Friday morning. And then I was nearly passed out on the floor because I hadn't eaten more than a few bites in the previous 36 hours and I guess my blood sugar hit the basement. Doc had to go find me some peppermint candies to suck on so I could walk out of there on my own.

I know. If everyone could just be as cool as me...

So, I've mostly been "sleeping" (in quotes because it hasn't been sleeping so much as lying around glassy-eyed and drooling and wishing for death) since Wednesday night. I did manage to put a turkey in the oven Thursday but Mr.C finally had to learn his way around the kitchen to get everything else done. He's been a trooper and I hope to God he doesn't pick this up from me.

On top of being Mr. Mom to me and the dog, he went to Costco by himself and bought us a new TV after my doc visit this morning. Our 60" Sony rear-projection set was dying a slow death of blue-pixilitis and the cost to repair it was more than just replacing the TV. So we gave it to a friend who is setting up house, and took advantage of a great Black Friday sale on on 55" Vizio LCDs. He got the second to last one. Phew!

Around 4 this afternoon, I finally felt human enough to help him lug the thing up to the living room. Man am I ever weak right now. That was a struggle. But we did it and, wow, is it a pretty picture! So much brighter and crisper than the rear-projection. Looks like people are going to walk right out of the screen. It's like discovering HD all over again. Remember that? The first time you saw HD? Especially football or hockey in HD? And you thought, "Wow, there is a God and He loves me."

Of course, the first hockey I saw on it was Turco getting lit up by Phoenix. How smug is Dave Tippett feeling?

I actually missed the Wild game completely today, as it came on while I was still comatose and I totally forgot it was an early game. Sounds like I missed a real doozie, so that kinda sucks. I'll just be glad when Mo-vember is over and the boys get back to more attractive facial hair. Mercy.

I watched most of the Aeros shootout loss to Syracuse, but started my hockey watching night with Brusty in net for the Everblades versus the Toledo Walleye. *shaking head* Nothing like Thanksgiving in Toledo. But let me tell ya, that barn was PACKED tonight! Either there is really nothing to do in Toledo or they are just mad for hockey. Or possibly both. Official attendance was 7000+. Not sure the Aeros, in a city of 4 million, would have drawn that tonight.

I spent most of Brusty's game yelling, "You call that forechecking?!" at his defense (in my head... my throat does not permit yelling at the moment). All three goals against were breakaways or odd man rushes, the last being a 3 on 1. Come on. But they got the win with some good scoring at the other end (including a goal that was very clearly kicked in, but allowed anyway, just seconds before the end of the second period).

Not much to say about the Aeros game because the feed was so choppy and freezy, I don't think I saw a single goal for either side. Kassian and Mirasty's fight was pretty epic though. Last time they fought, Kass "hung in there" IMO. This time, he won it. Not that the really got the better of Mirasty, who is truly as hard-headed as they come, but Kass definitely edged him.

Looking ahead, I've decided to take a week off from goal. We already don't have Novice on Sunday night due to the holiday, and I haven't been asked to play Monday, so Tuesday is all I'm really missing. I think being so sick this week, it will be good to get rested up. I really can't handle this particular illness hanging around any longer than necessary.

Meanwhile, my throat is telling me it's time for my 4 a.m. dose of soothing chocolate ice cream and Advil.

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

3 in 3s ate my brain

So, how about a little state of the union? Comparing last week's Tuesday where I didn't have a game the night before, and this week's Tuesday where I did (and it was pretty strenuous, but I played well), I'm starting to see what the problem is on Tuesdays.

Mentally, I'm just fried on day 3 of playing goal. I know my body can do it. My legs are little tired but not so much that I can't do what I need to do.

It's just that I catch myself watching. And then when I do have the game in my end, I can't react fast enough in my head, and so the body is also slow to follow.

By Tuesday, I've checked out and need a mental break from the game, and I really felt it last night.

Mr.C came to watch for the first time (on Tuesday) and felt like I did okay, especially given how fast the game was (there were some college players home for the holiday who kept the pace high all game long), but I know when I'm playing badly and I played badly.

His suggestion was to cut back to two games a week, but I just don't want to give up free ice time, and I don't want to stop novice, either. I get something unique from each night I play, and I don't want to give any of them up.

The only night I don't typically enjoy as much is Tuesday, but I had a blast last week, so I think it's more because I'm just drained and don't have much left to give them and don't play well on Tuesdays. It's definitely my hardest night of the week, so to drop it feels like a cop out. I like having that level of competition in the mix.

I love Monday. It's only an hour, but I work my can off and the people are nice and respectful and mature and supportive. Plus, they don't always need me. I assume some other goalies have first dibs, but I guess lately they haven't been able or willing to come out. I'd love to be their default goalie so I don't have to wait until a few days before (or even the day of) to find out I'm playing it.

And of course, Sundays are my "home." And much like going home, Sunday's are sometimes aggravating because I feel more pressure to be a certain way there, but there's a history and camaraderie that is comforting. Plus I get to work on things during practices that I don't get to any other time.

Sooo, giving up a night doesn't feel good to me. Which means I've GOT to find a way to stop just surviving Tuesdays, but play my best on Tuesdays. Or something closer to it.

But I'm at a loss as to how to do that. And like I said, I don't believe it's a conditioning issue. It's mental. You know how it feels when you're trying to walk in water? It felt like my ability to process the game, to react to situations, to communicate to my body to do what it needs to do, was traveling through water. Slog slog slog.

How do I unfog a tired mind and be sharp and have a high level of compete for this game? Especially when it's my hardest, fastest night of the week, my body is most tired? I guess most people would chug a Red Bull or something, but I can't have caffeine. I take vitamins, I try to eat right with a good carb/protein ratio for energy, I drink chocolate milk or Endurox after every game to try and get my muscles recovering nicely.

I've tried using Shaun's advice of having a plan, but when I'm having trouble with focus and mental clarity, it's hard to even remember the plan, much less stick to it. Maybe my plan needs to be simpler, but really, my plan last night was just to focus on staying square to the puck (as it has been all week). But that wasn't enough, as I failed to execute in other ways.

Ahhhhh, to have such problems as how to deal with too much ice time. :) Honestly, I'm grateful for it, but I really would like to represent myself better on Tuesdays, because I know I'm a better goalie than they're getting. But I've got to lift the fog to do it.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Quick Hits: Chicks dig bruises & an offer to my goalie readers

Am I ever bruised up today. I forgot to mention the most painful shot I took last night, right in the boob. Seriously, I need to get busy on that armored bra. My forehead still has a hangover from that shot in the head, but the boob one hurt way worse at the time.

Nothing like watching your goalie trying to rub the sting out of her chest as the play moves to the other end (thankfully). Damn. That hurt. I really need to learn to catch.

My knees are bruised again, too, but my butterfly was so good last night, I don't really give a crap. BOTH knees are bruised, which is a new thing because that right pad is finally flipping up properly more than its not (can't say the same for Sunday night, when I had my straps a bit tight).

Between my defenseman running me Sunday (WE made the save though!), and getting the puck knocked out of me Monday, I can't wait to see what happens tonight. I may need a wahhhhbulance to get home. ;)

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I've continued my ShamOMG sweatband experiment and think I have a winner. Looks like the thicker orange sham fabric is the best. Four layers is about the right thickness. I used that one Sunday and the yellow with 5 layers last night and could wring a fair bit of sweat out of the yellow when I was done. And that was just an hour of playing.

Sunday, I couldn't wring a drop out of it and that was an hour and a half, though I don't feel like I got quite as hot either. Monday is a little tougher night.

Anyway, I'm going to make a bunch up with the rest of the material. I think the yellow with 6 layers might be good, too. 5 was a bit thin. It is definitely softer though. Wonder if having a yellow layer on the forehead side but orange everywhere else wouldn't be just perfect, actually. Hmmm!

So, my dear goalie readers, if you want me to send you one, shoot me an email (link is in the sidebar) with your address, and I'll mail as many off as I can make with this batch of material I have. And really, it was only $8 for a huge box of the material so I can make more. Considering you'd spend $15+ for ONE of these, that's a steal.

Let's call it my 2 year bloggiversary (in January)/happy holidays/thanks for reading and supporting and putting up with my neuroses gift to my fellow tenders. Don't be shy! I'm not saying they'll be pretty. Sewing isn't exactly my strong suit, but it's kinda like pie. Doesn't really matter how the piece looks on the plate as long as it tastes good.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

How many fingers am I holding up?

Wow, so I'm glad I didn't cheap out on my mask. Took a few months of tension headaches for my neck muscles to get used to the heavy Hackva lid, but I think I really would be seeing double right now if I had gone cheap.

The biggest dude on the other team just wound up and NAILED me, square in the forehead where the top bar of my cage overlaps my mask. I know this because about an inch of paint is missing in that spot.

Also, I'm a bit sore right between the eyebrows. My head hurts a bit and I feel a bit scrambled but I'm not sure that isn't how I normally feel. :) You can bet I'll be using this as an excuse for at least a week for everything dumb I do. "Oooops! Too many pucks to the head!"

Actually, I was laughing to myself on the way to Sugar Land, thinking about this one goalie I know (not any of you... he doesn't read this) who I really just can't figure out, and I thought, "Hah, I dunno why I'm over-analyze this guy. He's a goalie! Too many pucks to the head. Of course he doesn't make any sense."

Maybe he'll make sense now.

Anyway, my ears rang for about 15 seconds and it stung and I still feel like somethings pressing on my forehead. But otherwise, I feel fine. Why is my ear bleeding? (Kidding)

I took my mask over to the shooter after the game to show him his handiwork. He was apologetic, which totally wasn't my point in showing him. Said, "You barely even flinched!" Hah, the one advantage of not having binocular vision* is that you can't see something coming at you fast, so you don't really know to flinch. I mean, I saw it come off his stick and I know I'm square to it, but where it actually is? No clue.

Later in the game he put a pity shot on me (for no reason, because I played pretty well the whole game) and I kinda fussed at him for it. I wouldn't be a goalie if I didn't want to get hit with pucks. I'm sure that doesn't make a lot of sense to a skater, but really, trust me on this.

Oh well. It was fun. One thing about getting hit square in the forehead is that I KNOW I'm square to the puck, which is what I've been working hard on lately. :)

Yesterday, I was reading my post from my very first game, and my buddy Nick in NY dropped a pearl of wisdom in the comments about how shooters can't shoot with the puck right in front of them.

And I think for a good long while there, I'd really let that thought go and was squaring to the shooter. I think I really hurt myself by forgetting that, but the last few games I've been getting back there and doing much better positionally.

Deflecting a lot more pucks out to safety with my pads. I'm also trying to get my stick square to the puck even if I'm off a little bit. I think that's what you're supposed to do anyway, but to be honest, I do it because I like the sound it makes when I make a stick save. I know, I know... roll your eyes. :)

Heard this song on the way home and I'm in love with it (notice the guy in the band who looks like Marian Gaborik?) It's like rap for white people. That should just be a station on XM: Cracker Rap.



*More on the lack of binocular vision later.

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Bound but determined

So, I guess I'm a little blocked up, writer-wise, at the moment. Couldn't even blog my game last night and I don't think that's ever happened.

I think part of that is just feeling like a broken record lately. Played well... EXCEPT FOR... those 6 goals, 3 of which were completely retarded. Sound familiar? I'm tired of myself. I still love playing, but I'm tired of the constant self-flagellation after the fact. Or the Pollyanna, stiff-upper-lip, "oh, just have fun" routine when I'm not beating myself up. Or the whining about my feelings. Fucking goddamn feelings.

So, until something interesting happens, maybe I'm done blogging my games. I reserve the right to change my mind. I did actually write a whole big post last night. Then deleted it and wrote a shorter one basically saying, "Meh," and then thought, "Why even bother?" And went to bed.

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I'm PMSing. Totally.

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Back to feelings... my heart is heavy for my teams and my precious goalies who are playing for foster teams.

The Aeros certainly have the offensive talent to score more than they are, but just can't convert on the many plum chances they get. I'm afraid they're not far from sinking into the quicksand if they don't start getting rewarded for the hard work they're putting in defensively and in goal. How long can you sustain such a hard effort without a little payoff every now and then?

Khudobin has been fantastic, and apparently even Dubielewicz was excellent in his relief of Anton on Friday night.

But that continues to leave Brusty stuck in Florida, which makes me immeasurably sad. Would that I could knock Dubie out, take him to Florida, leave him on the doorstep of the Germain Arena and bring Brusty back with me--assuming such behavior wasn't both insane and criminal--that would be perfection. Alas, I'm neither (that) insane nor (that) criminal.

And my other goalie, Brett Jaeger with the Texas Brahmas, is having a craptastic season as well. The rookie goalie who was assigned to the team by the Blackhawks organization is showing him up big time and he's just stru-ggl-ing. What do you say in that situation? Or to any beloved goalie who's having a rough go? Everything seems so trite.

I've got your back. I believe in you. Come on, hockey gods. Throw my boys a bone.

So, these things are weighing on me, making me a little melancholy. And worse, Mr.C is in a mood to clean closets, which is one of my most least favorite things to do ever. Closets have doors for a reason. Just close them and have fun with your life. We'll clean 'em out next time we move. AmIright?

Which means I'm being grumpy at him, too, which makes me feel bad after the fact. But doesn't seem to change the fact that I want to put my thumb in his eye in the heat of the moment. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Notice I'm not even mentioning the Wild. I can't even contemplate what a sad state that bunch is in. Makes everything else look like sunshine and kitten toes.

Alright. Enough of this drama queen bullshit. Sorry. It happens from time to time. Still love me?

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Intent to Blow and Other Quick Hits

God help me. I love the innuendo of hockey.

Now, I know as a fan of the game I should be upset about that whole deal with Brad May's goal not counting, because it was clearly a goal and the goofy "war room" system failed big time here, but:

  1. It's Brad May. Not that I wish him any serious ills, but getting screwed out of a goal? Yeah, I'm okay with that.
  2. When I played that Toyota Center game, I had at least two goals EXACTLY like that waved off. I mean, those bad boys were IN the net but just behind the post and hidden by the toe of my pad. Ref: "Was that in?" Me: "Nope." *smile* Hey, I was getting lit up and not feeling very sportsmanlike.
  3. I have many times had my bacon saved thanks to the official's "intent to blow." In fact, you might say intent to blow is a goalie's best friend. Well, after the posts and shot-blocking defensemen.
  4. It's Brad May. Who gives a shit?
  5. It's the Red Wings. Weren't they due for looking human? I'm rather enjoying it.
  6. It's Brad May. Meh.
BTW, I recognize that I'm a day late with this and we've all moved on to the rather hilarious (assuming he's okay... if not, it's just secretly hilarious) cartoonish way in which Derek Dorsett fell down, went boom after James MFing Neal tapped him on the shoulder. Or the embarrassing fight among idiot Ducks fans over Nieder's stick. But I don't want to talk about either of those things.

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I hope Kevin Weekes gets better at the TV thing. He's very handsome and belongs on TV. Just maybe not talking. Maybe just have the flat screen with highlights and him smiling and gesturing at it like Vanna White.

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I find myself rooting for the Ducks these days because I have so many Ducks players on my fantasy teams. In fact, I traded for two of them just this week. Added Selanne and Getzlaf on two different teams.

I'm starting to heal my relationship with that team now that Pronger is gone, but I still feel a bit dirty. Hiller's pretty coppery mask makes me feel a little less dirty.

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L'Oreal quit making my hair color. This happens to me every few years and I end up in the hair color aisle of every CVS and Walgreens in my area staring desperately at the spot between blond and brunette where the reds are and holding back tears.

I'm not a particularly vain or girly girl but you get the wrong color of red going and it can really go south. Too orange and you look like Bozo the Clown. Too purple and you look fake, trashy, and ruddy. It's tough to get a natural-looking red, even if you go to a salon. I've only ever had one stylist who could do it right (and she was a red herself so she "got" it).

Anyway, the Fake Redhead Gods threw me a bone, and the next closest color is actually just fine.

Another bullet dodged.

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I still love you, James MFing Neal. Don't do that again, but you're still my second favorite forward in the League.

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A lot of good hockey last night, as I watched marathon-style from 6 clear until the brawl for Niedermayer's stick ended, including listening to a CHL game on my computer. In the extremely unlikely event that there a) is a heaven and b) I end up there, it will just be me in a river of hockey games, with Kevin Weekes waving his arm gently at the one I'm watching.

But here's my conclusion: You can't tell me scoring isn't absolutely perfect right now. They need to stop right where they are with the goalie gear regulations. This is truly a ridiculous path they're on. What is it with the inability of the NHL to say, "Hey, we were wrong. Let's go another direction with this." NHL hockey is just damn fun right now. Don't change a thing.

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I worked out for the first time in, like, 3 months last night. Ever since these 3 in 3s started, I've been sore clear until Saturday, so I have been lazy Wed-Sat. But yesterday I did a bunch of squats, some shoulders and some abs.

OMG my legs hurt. In a great way though, other than every time I rolled over in bed, I woke up from the pain. Still. Great stuff.

Though a perfect world would be getting to play every other day and never have to do a real workout. It's so boring, I won't even tell you the little games I have to play with myself to keep motivated.

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Aeros game tonight, but I'll be missing it other than on the radio and John's tweets. The good thing is that Mr.C is coming home after being gone two weeks. Thank god!

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tuesday Drop-in and Sham-band Report!

Well, it's pretty amazing what a night off between games will do for your energy and mental focus and compete level. I hadn't realized how much I was really drained by the third night of 3 in 3 until tonight when I played Tuesday drop-in with fresh legs.

It was one of my best games ever. And really one of the first where guys had to change their shooting strategy to try and beat me. It wasn't all just get in close and poke away. They actually had to work for their goals. I may not have all the tools yet but if I can make this bunch earn their goals, I count it as a good night.

I was amped. Tons of energy and it helped that we had 4 goalies (grrrr, just when I'd accepted 3). I only played about 45 minutes total, so my energy stayed high.

I did struggle with the "playing well" distraction a bit. I tried to put it away to enjoy it later but it really was a battle mentally to just stay focused on the job and not get too cocksure.

The main thing I was doing well was staying square to the puck and being patient with the shooter, making them make the first move, and trying to stay at the appropriate depth for where the shooter was. When I did all that well, it worked. When I bit early and didn't keep moving with the shooter, I got burned.

Anyway, under the guise of never to high, never too low, I'm going to give you my report in pro player speak:

"I felt alright out there. A couple I'd probably take back, but mainly the boys did a great job letting me see the puck and clearing rebounds. The credit goes to them for being on their toes and battling in front of me."
Though I really do mean that. The "dad" of the group finally put his foot down and got my team's bench playing short shifts (I type "shits" EVERY time I try to type shifts) and boy did they play MUCH better defense almost to the end of the game because they were maintaining their energy levels better. It was much more pleasant to be the goalie in those circumstances.

Typically this drop-in, a bunch of guys take 3-minute shifts and by the last half hour, they're dragging ass and it's just break away after break away.

Bang and I did 15 minute shifts in goal and, honestly, I love being the back-up goalie as much as being the goalie. I just love to watch hockey, cheer the boys on, especially when I've got one team the whole game. (And it's so nice to not switch ends. When I have to change teams, I spend the whole time going, "Dark team bad. Dark team bad. Dark team bad" so I remember who is shooting on me.)

Hell I even like opening the door for them. :) One of the guys... I was thisclose to asking him if he's single because I have a girlfriend I want to hook him up with. Such a sweet guy and treats me so well. He came off the ice and the bench was full, so he just stood next to me and put his elbow up on my shoulder and we chatted. Adorable and just a breath of fresh air.

I've been getting there WAY early lately, too, and stretching and just chatting with some of the guys. It's helping me humanize them a bit and not feel so intimidated. Also, I'm not as sore after thanks to the stretching.

Hmm. I'm on a decent upswing since that terrible Tuesday two weeks ago. Feels good.

Sham Sweatband report: AWESOME! The one I made is about one layer too thick for my taste, so I still need to experiment to get it perfect, but the thing was hardly damp afterward and my old terry ones, I certainly could have wrung a drop or two out of even with the short time I played. I could have played for two hours straight before I'd have even had to think about it with the sham band.

It's a winner for sure. I had two weights of sham material, so I've made one of each. I'll try the one with the lighter, softer sham material Sunday and see how it does. That will be a full 1.25 or so hours of game action so that will be an even better test.

I'm a little amazed but let's keep this shit mellow:

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A little trip into my subconscious mind...

I always have crazy dreams during pre-game naps. Today, though, if my subconscious mind could hold a hammer, I'd have a lump on my head.

I dreamed that I was going to a hockey rink. Looked a lot like Memorial City if you enter from the mall side. And I'm walking down the walkway toward the locker rooms and ALL the other goalies are already dressed and out on the ice taking shots and playing around and having fun.

But right away, I'm thinking, "Fuck. I'm behind. Why am I even doing this? They're all better than me."

And then all these pucks start flying at my head from out of nowhere and I'm going, "WTF? Assholes!" but they don't stop. And just as I started to panic and get desperate, I realized, "Hey, I'm a goalie!" and put one leg pad in each hand and start blocking all these shots flying at my as-yet-unmasked face.

It was still stressful, but I distinctly felt much better once I remembered I had the tools to stop these pucks.

I don't think we need to call the dream interpreter on that one, eh? Probably the most literal dream I've ever had. And a nice way to start preparing for my game tonight.

Meanwhile, thank you to my hair salon for calling and waking me up about 20 minutes into it. I get my hair cut like twice a year, only when I'm desperate beyond reason... trust me, I'm gonna remember my appointment tomorrow.

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Quick Hits: Banding the sweat, hockey camp & other junk

My big accomplishment for the day was making my own sweat band to wear in my mask. It really takes something important for me to pull out Memaw's 1930s Singer sewing machine (best sewing machine ever made... runs like a horse lo these 75 years later) so you know my sweat band issue was really a problem.

I used these instructions to make them and I have a TON of sham cloth left so if they work well, I'll churn some out for my goalie readers who want to try it out. Should be a good test tomorrow night at drop-in, though there are two thicknesses of material, so I need to try both and make sure they work equally well.

Some guy is apparently selling them on ebay for $25? Crazy. They're so easy to make, even with my crapass sewing skills.

Of course, while I've got the old girl out, I'm wondering what other mods I need to make. Like, for instance, all the spent elastic holding my chest protector together. Dare I attempt it? Oh hell, why not?

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No Monday drop-in this week. I miss it in a way but know I need the break. Hope it won't be too long before I'm invited back. It's a good bunch.

It's been so long since I haven't played Monday, we'll see if it affects my Tuesday play to not be on tired legs.

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Man, Chara is so big. And yet, pretty agile for a condominium. But Roloson can really move for a not-so-young goalie. He always impresses me, so I'm glad he's out of the Western conference.

Speaking of which, how about Robbie Earl and John Scott getting their first NHL goals yesterday? Honest to god, I was super excited for Robbie, but I got tears for Scotty. That guy will always have special little place in my heart in the spot reserved for the players who were integral to my falling in love with the game. It's a weird mix of dudes in that spot--not a lot of rhyme or reason, but you can't argue with results can you?

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Oh! So, I'm signed up, sort of tentatively, to be a goalie at an adult hockey camp in Minnesota next July. It's not a goalie camp but they need goalies to shoot on.

Ran across this funny blurb on the ModSquad board:

I use that exact expression to describe myself when I start throwing passive butterflies at too many shots. "Throwing shapes in the Church of Dance..." Then there are "driving range goaies" who excel in a certain number of common goalie camp/clinic drills but can't put it together on the ice, and "knee dancers" for the guys who have beautiful butterfly slides but can't stop a beachball.
I'm sort of a driving range goalie. I love taking shots. I like game play, too, but (to state what is true for probably anybody) I'm better if I know what's coming. And when I'm better, I'm happier. So, point being, this should be a pretty fun camp for me.

What will be interesting is getting my gear to Minnesota, but I'm sure I can scrounge up enough folks who've flown with goalie gear to help me figure out how to get that done without spending a fortune in extra baggage fees. Plus it will be awesome to FINALLY meet all my Minnesotans!

Anyway, I'm excited about the prospect. But I have lots of work to do before then. Onward and upward.

Okay, off to buy more velcro and elastic while I still remember how to operate the sewing machine.

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I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optometrist

Practice tonight and I was the only goalie, so lots of work for me. Unfortunately, I wasn't much up to the task. My legs just felt like lead tonight. I went out to stretch with just my lower gear on and when I was done, I swear it felt like I had 5 lb weights strapped to each skate.

And it's been a quite some time since my feet were just aching in these skates. I thought I had them broken in but I actually think I had them a bit loose and I was hopping from foot to foot trying to get the pressure off all night long.

And these piece of shit sweat bands I got (anybody got suggestions for where to get GOOD replacements?) had strings hanging down in front of my eyes. That's good for vision.

Ugh, I was just a mess from a "comfort in gear" standpoint.

The coaches shot on me for a while during the skating drills and then the skaters did a few drills where they were shooting on me . The best for me was the wrist shot drill because I was shuffling to my weak side, so that was good practice for me. My janky wrist is gonna hurt tomorrow though since I stopped nearly everything tonight with my stick. Lots of stick action always gets my wrist going. (That sentence was just for you gutter brains out there. Enjoy.)

Hockey Falling Tip 101: Land on your elbows rather than your hands. This wrist of mine is probably never going to get better. I hurt it in a fall back when I first started skating out nearly a year and a half ago.
Anyway, then we scrimmaged. Cone was in the other goal, and cone's usually pretty much a wall. Nobody can beat cone. But cone let in 2 goals tonight and I let in none, thank you very much. And that was 40 minutes of play. Though to be fully disclosureful (my very own Rickyism), I saw maybe 5 shots all night. My defense kept the game pinned down in their offensive zone for probably 30 of those 40 minutes.

Doesn't count really but it was nice to see 2-0 on the scoreboard when we left. Haven't seen that... ever. Haha...

The funny part of the night was when we got to talking about goalie gear and I brought my goalie skates out for show and tell in the parking lot. Most skaters don't realize how different goalie skate are. Mostly they were amazed by how freaking heavy they are, and didn't realize the blade was flat and longer. It's always fun to share a little of what it's like in Goalieworld.

Anyway, that's pretty much it for the night. Seeing as how I dozed off just sitting on the couch for a minute to pet the dog when I got home (was awakened by the cold nose sniffing my face, checking for life, I suppose), I think I can safely not buzz around for 3 hours waiting to wind down and pass out.

And with that, screw music. I'm in the mood for Rickyisms:

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Live Blog Tonight, Bitches

I was thinking, "Man, I'm so excited about all this hockey tonight, but it kinda sucks watching it alone... Hmm. Let's Live Blog this shit!"

I'll be up and running... either talking to you or talking to myself, which I'm really okay with but I'd rather talk to you... at 6 p.m. CT.

I'm starting with Thrash/Rags, then switching to Wild/Bolts, and then wrapping up the night with Stars/Sharks. Fun? Yeah.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Shed that monkey

Much better night tonight at Tuesday drop-in. Dare I say, it was actually fun. I had some good stops and frustrated a few guys, which always feels good.

One of the problems with this night is that we almost always have three goalies. Two of us are about the same level of experience and skill (little and low) and the other guy who's usually there is quite good. Young and tall and super bendy and very quick.

It's funny because Absolute Mental had an article out today on playing well against weaker opponents, but since I'm almost always the weaker goalie, my issue is getting intimidated and distracted playing against a better goalie.

When I play against someone on my level, I'm kinda more motivated because I know I have a prayer of beating them. When they're way better, I can feel my confidence sinking a little before I'm even on the ice.

But that guy wasn't there tonight, so for some reason, one of the guys who works at the rink dressed. WTF? I was all happy thinking I'd only change nets once and then this guy comes strolling up. Grr.

However, it turned out fine and I think I'm just going to be okay with having three goalies. It is, in fact, an almost 2 hour drop-in, so getting some relief in goal is kinda nice. Just 10 or 15 minutes off feels pretty good, especially on my third night of playing. I definitely stayed fresher to the end.

So, I'm over that gripe. I also switched locker rooms to one where I kinda have a corner to myself and can't see the rest of the room when I'm doing my thing, but I'm also right by the door so I can get in and out easily, which is important when you're dressed like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon.

Nothing extraordinary about the night. Had some fun guys out. I like when my defense talks to me like I'm on their team. I know that seems obvious but it doesn't happen a lot with this bunch. Very "lonely end of the rink" sometimes on Tuesdays.

Also, I don't know what it is, but I keep making tons of saves with the shaft of my stick. Somehow it just knows where to be. I'm not questioning it. I'll take it!

Anyway, I'm feeling good. Time for more Advil and bed and back to real life tomorrow. These 3-in-3s sort of suspend time for me each week. And then it's over and I have to deal with the non-hockey world again. Like getting my oil changed and crap like that. Blech.

All of Paramore's songs sound the same to me, but these lyrics kinda speak to me.



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In other news, if you're a T3I reader, you read Andrew's really nicely done post about Brusty heading to Florida for a conditioning/rehab turn between the pipes in Naples. Sounds like he'll be playing Friday and probably Saturday, assuming the foot holds up.

I hate to waste money on B2, unless their service has improved, but I sure do want to see my goalie play again, even if it's tiny and grainy. I've been waiting months and months and will gladly watch the Aeros game on archive later. Apologies to those who like the in-game twittering. You're welcome to those who don't. :)

Needless to say, in my perfect world, he knocks the rust off and gets back to Houston ASAP and wins one of the spots here. I won't say which spot, other than to say... not Anton's. Haha...

But we are rarely in my perfect world. Otherwise, I'd be 5'9", could do the splits without tearing my groin, and would have a kick ass paint job on my mask. I'm thinking of having a really big set of boobs painted on my mask. Think that would distract the boys into missing the net? If not that, then definitely NINJAs. Love a good NINJA. Yes, all caps on NINJA. Always.

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Monday, November 9, 2009

Pee-new-moan-ya

First of all, let me just say: OMFG, SLICE is THE coldest building in Houston. There must be meat lockers that are toastier. I'm not sure at what temperature breath and body heat turn to "steam" but it was at least that temperature in there tonight. If there had been a breeze, we might have been using words like "bitter" and "Winnipeg."

By the time I pegged my net, I could barely get my trapper on correctly because I couldn't feel my fingers. Never been so cold in a rink before.

The glass was all fogged up and it was literally raining as the condensation on the ceiling was gathering in spots and dripping down. One drip was right at the top of my crease so it kept dripping on the back of my neck. I guess that's one way to know I'm at the top of the paint, eh?

Anyway, kind of a rough night, but I ended up playing okay. As usual with this drop in, I got better as the night went on. I'm starting to think the shooters are getting tired instead, but whatever. Let's pretend I'm getting better.

But as soon as I hit the ice, my heart started racing and I never could get it to settle down. Sooo, I guess I'm back off the caffeine again. I fell off the wagon a few weeks ago because I get so friggin' tired, not only from playing this 3 in 3 schedule every week but then not being able to sleep for 3 or more hours after I get home.

By Wednesday and Thursday, I'm being held together with chewed gum and dental floss. At least, that's how I feel. Being a little more liberal with the Advil and doing a LOT more stretching in hopes of keeping my hips a little happier. I was still hurting doing any kind of hip rotation on Sunday, so clearly, there's some anger in them there hips that rest alone isn't fixing.

Hopefully stretching and rest will do the trick.

Anyway, game on and my heart is racing and that's pretty draining, energy-wise. I realize I'm falling back into bad habits of playing too deep because my energy is about 50% what it should be, so I try to follow my rule but finally give up and just go into brainless survival mode. And I actually play much better. Though I think the second half, the team in front of me was just harder-working and more skilled defensively, so I had lots of good stops in the second half because they made my job easier.

Of course, as is Murphy's Law, when I'm feeling terrible and basically just leaning on my pads trying to catch my breath when the puck's at the other end, the friggin' zamboni guys didn't kick us off for nearly an extra 30 minutes after our scheduled ice time.

Any other week, I would have loved that and would have even stayed out and worked with the shooters, but I was practically crawling to the gate and just needed to go sit. 5 minutes after I got off the ice, I felt fine. Except for my sweaty clothes freezing on me and wishing for some hot chocolate. Credit to me though, the other goalie got off the ice first. I was told I won the goalie battle because of that. Sweet! I'll take it. ;)

My new sweatband either sucks or I'm sweating a lot more than I used to. At one point, about an hour in, I couldn't see at all, my eyes were burning so bad from the sweat pouring into them. Augh. Annoying. I've heard of people making their own out of Sham-Wow (yeah really) fabric. I'm thinking I may have to try that. Apparently it works quite well. And please, don't anyone recommend sanitary napkins (which is an incredibly stupid name for those things).... I may be a sieve but I will cling to whatever dignity I have left.

Hitting it with the Tuesday night drop-in tomorrow night. I'm super excited for the challenge of getting back to working on the fundamentals I started working on Sunday night. (That's me being relentlessly positive!) At least I know, being connected to the mall, it will be anything but freezing in there.

What could be a more perfect song than this for my more-frozen-than-usual night of hockey?

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Hot and bothered, plus some Clutterbutter to spread on your Monday

So I'm finally catching up on my Google Reader news and seeing that the GMs are considering ditching the trapezoid that prevents goalies from playing the puck other than directly behind the net.

And I have to admit, especially after reading Razor's take on it with regard to Marty Turco, who already sends me into a frenzy with his third D-man shtick, to think that my favorite goalies, those lovely puck-movers, would be free to "roam the zone" and maximize their talents truly has me hot and bothered.

Dear GMs,

Vote YES on Prop 69, Removal of cock-blocking trapezoid bullshit rule. RAWR!


Sincerely,

Ms. C
As much as this is WAY less important than putting in place rules around hits to the head (love the "waiting for someone to get killed first" tactic the league is taking, BTW), this is one item for which I'm following the bureaucratic/political/horseshit end of the game with rapt attention.

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A wee Clutterbutter update for ya. Google Alerts found me this video (15 freaking minutes!) of him working out, skating, etc. The video was so jerky for me, I could barely watch it but maybe you'll have better luck.

Also, here's an update from the Wild on the Mo-Bros aka the godawful mustaches the boys are growing (for a great cause, so I'm trying not to make too many faces about it).

Cal looks like a Muppet. Those eyebrows + the stache. I dunno. Sorry Cal. I still love ya, and searches for "cal clutterbuck girlfriend" are not remotely on the downswing, so I think you're good to go. As one Russovillian put it today, "clutterbuck could fornicate with a minor at center ice and people would stand and cheer." So, you know, wear them whiskers any way you want.

Kobasew, OTOH, looks like goddamn Brad Pitt, which if I thought Brad Pitt was hot, I'd be really impressed. Maybe I'm impressed anyway, just not particularly interested.

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Call off the dogs. I've ordered a new car charger for my XM radio. Only a few more days of Houston radio. The "good" station I settled on last night was playing Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA remix when I got in the car today. *sigh* The search continues.

UPDATE: AHHHH! After scouring my car, I found the missing piece of the charger! Order canceled (hopefully) and XM back on the air in the Ms.Conductmobile! It's a Party in the USA!

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Goal-Setting Sunday & other stuff

So, after last weeks misery and some help from lots of folks to pull me out of my mental funk, I had my chance to redeem myself tonight with a novice game.

It was one of those fucked up nights where I played like shit but my team played great and we ended up winning. My first win in a long time, and while I wish I could take some credit for it, I think my D could have kept the score lower if they'd just been playing a 3rd D back.

HOWEVER....

I'm not beating myself up. I'm staying positive. Because I went in to tonight with the goal of just "moving up" when I could see blue paint in front of me. And I did that all night. I stayed at the top of my crease and just tried to get used to not seeing paint. It actually wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and it made me feel more confident the more I got used to it.

But, I think maybe I was relying too much on my depth to save me, because I had a real problem being square to the puck rather than the shooter, and I had a few go past my toes that I really should have had.

So, tomorrow night, we build on this progress with the main objective continuing to be, "If you see blue paint, move up" but also keeping somewhere in mind to stay square to the puck, not the shooter. I guess playing at the top of my crease, I have more ground to cover to stay square, so I'll have to get used to that.

I think what's happening is that I've just gotten so balled up in this and that, that my fundamentals have just gone to shit, so I'm really just having to simplify big time. Almost like I've built up this certain level of strength and skills and knowledge, and it's time to circle back and make repairs to the foundation.

I feel good though. All I can do is keep learning and building on whatever progress I make.

Fun things from the night were when I skated out to play a puck that was floating in on me. I thought I got pretty good wood on it but a red player got it and I didn't get back fast enough and they scored. But I'm okay with that. I'm gonna fuck that up a few times before I start to get it right. I should have moved the puck to the boards rather than trying to use a lane up the center of the ice. Next time I'll do that better.

Also, you know how sometimes you see a goalie in his crease and his d-man has the puck behind the net and there's an opposing player in on the forecheck who is just kinda crowding the crease, waiting for the d-man to make his move. And then the goalie will skate up really fast to sort of "scare" them back away from the net? I finally got to do that tonight and it actually worked! It startled her and she backed right off... though we were both laughing about it. :)

Anyway, enough of that. On to the "other stuff"...

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I forgot to mention in my game report from the Aeros game yesterday that I actually got to see former President Bush (the dad) Saturday night. We were headed to the locker room to interview and got held up because they had his SUV there to take him home.

So, he was walking to his SUV about 10 feet from me and he sees me and gives me a wave! I was like, Holy crap! I totally didn't vote for you and I think your son is a slack-jawed idiot, but you were the freaking president! So, HIII!!!!! *wavewavewave*

He's still pretty dapper, I have to say. It was cool that he and Barb and some grandkid of theirs came out to the game. Glad the boys put on a great show for him and that their presence works better for the Aeros than it does for the Astros. Ha.

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Finally had to toss my original mask sweat band after the game tonight. The end of an era, my friends. It was starting to not be very absorbent any more, or at least starting to leak way too early in the game. I was getting big drips into my face after only an hour. Used to, it would hold the sweat back for 2+ hours without issue.

So, we'll see tomorrow night how these new ones I got off ebay work.

Speaking of gear, I'm IN LOVE with my Maltese neck/clav protector. Took me about 3 games but it's comfortable and doesn't smell and is soft and not hot. I LOVE being dangler-free!!!!

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Yeah, so another 3 in 3 this week, but the off-ice distractions I had last week have been put to rest and I'm feeling good having a plan. Thank you to Absolute Mental Training for the work you put into articles so that we amateurs can benefit from your knowledge. Some day I'll be a better goalie for it, but I'm already a happier goalie for it.

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The power plug for my XM radio broke today and I had to listen to regular Houston radio. God, what a miserable thing. I literally put at least 20 miles in today with my radio on SCAN because it was better than committing to one of the 30 Tejano stations or 20 country stations or 10 R&B stations.

I finally found a mix station on the way home that played a whole two good songs in a row. I gotta get my XM working pronto. I drive too much lately, and late at night... I need my XM.

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My song for the night has caught my attention because the singer has a "second coming of Dolly Parton" in her voice. Take a listen and try and tell me I'm wrong:



I'm a huge Dolly fan though, so that's a good thing in my book. Love it.

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Friday, November 6, 2009

Quick Hits: Fake It Til You Make It

One of the things I'm learning as I get older, and is being heavily reinforced as a goalie, is that I'm in charge of my emotional and mental status. It's a tough lesson, because it's much easier to just ride the waves of your emotions and screw you if you don't like that I'm a crabby bitch all the time.

But sometimes you hit weeks like I'm having where the grumpy/angry/hurt/FAIL/rejected feelings just won't shake. I'm not excited about anything, especially playing goal. Usually by now I'm ready to get out there and redeem a bad game, but right now, I just still feel burned out and tired. In fact, I last played Tuesday night and only this morning found the will to deal with my gear bag. Yuck.

Part of that is that I really just am tired. I'm pleading my case to get a really, really lazy Saturday tomorrow. Nap when I'm tired and watch football and then the Aeros game. Hopefully that means my batteries will be recharged on Sunday.

But the other part of it is that I just need to suck it up and pepper myself with positive thoughts.

I have been dreaming about goal, so it just goes to show that my mind knows what I need to be doing. And that is, figuring out how to avoid another night like Tuesday, or at least how to turn it around mid-stream.

#1 is if I see blue paint in front of me, to move up. No judgment or fear, no "you're playing too deep again" or "what if I can't get back?"

Just "move up."

In fact, that may be the only thing I worry about Sunday. I need to develop faith in that behavior and I wager that's one of the hardest things to do as a new goalie.

I promise, this is my last big pity party sigh.

*sigh*

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My colleague over at In Goal Mag has a great post on the goalie mask chin strap. Took me AGES to figure out what the chin strap even was. At least on Hackvas, it's a very unfriendly kind of strapping material, and though it doesn't touch skin, it just seems like an uncomfortable thing to have to fasten. So I just never have.

Plus, you always see goalies flipping their masks up (ahhh, precious cool air to the head!) without unfastening anything, so I'm thinking, "What is this? To hang it by?" LOL Apparently I need a mask from IKEA with pictures on how to use.

Anyway, a good read for my goalie readers. And if you're not already subscribing to IGM, why not? Hutch is relentless in his drive to find great goalie content to post there, which makes it a truly unique site and I'm just privileged to be a small part of it.

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I noticed that someone came to the T3I site from one of those "info compilation" pages that gathers resources on a subject from all over the web and puts them on one page for you.

The subject of the page was Barry Brust, but if you go all the way to the bottom, there are some Google Ads. The system tries to tailor the ads to the subject matter, so what you get is an ad for Berry Burst.
Not sure what exactly they mean to be selling, but after a quick search, it appears there is Berry Burst-flavored Metamucil in case you need fiber, and Berry Burst Cheerios in case you need breakfast, and Berry Burst "energy chews" in case you need caffeination. There's a whole Berry Burst diet out there if you're into that sort of thing.

Better yet, when Brusty has to nut a bastard for screening or generally being a dick around the net, it should be officially called the Berry Burst™. Feel free to use that, B.

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I always forget how much I like Jane's Addiction until I happen to hear one of their songs on the radio. Heard this one yesterday and it's been stuck in my head since. Is it fair to say they have a certain timelessness? Or is it just that I never managed to get overexposed to them and so, never tired of them?



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John Scott actually pulls off the stache pretty well. @mnwild Very nice.

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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Cross the blue line with that thing and I'm pulling the trigger

I'm too angry tonight to write much about drop-in. It was a bad night. Top to bottom. I've never said this about playing goal, but I wish I'd just stayed home.

My instinct was to not go, because I was feeling tired and fried mentally from kind of a draining 24 hours prior, but I made a commitment to play for this group every week. I should have made a plan for how to deal with it when things didn't go my way. Something to focus on so that I didn't get dragged under my own mental bog of ... whatever... that's sitting on me this week.

I won't even talk about the game. It would all be deemed excuse-making and maybe another week where I'm not on The Brink anyway, I would have coped better, but I coped for shit. I just got angry and discombobulated.

Moreover, I didn't have fun and as much as I want to blame everyone else, it was on me to keep the right attitude in the face of adversity, and I didn't muster the strength and composure to do that.

There's so much more I want to say, but I just need to cool down and get some perspective and try to learn from this.

Lesson for the night: Don't let the play of the team in front of you affect YOUR confidence level in net.

I don't play again until Sunday. Hopefully I'll find some peace and not want to hack people to bits with my stick by then. Have a therapeutic lunch scheduled with my friend tomorrow so I can hopefully exorcise the demons that are plaguing me off-ice (but I'm apparently bringing them on the ice with me, if tonight is any indication).

Man. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, eh? But this blog has always been about documenting this journey and keeping it as real as I can without getting too many people mad at me. Sometimes I'm just a bitch, and sometimes it sucks being the goalie and sometimes I just want to make saves with a motherfucking shotgun. Tonight's one of those nights.

Let's mellow out, bitches:

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Quick Hits: Take off, hoser!

First up, I know I'm always demanding you read this blog or that blog, but I try to only feed y0u the very best stuff.

Justin Bourne is at it again, this time taking on the homophobic culture of hockey. Read the original piece here and his response to the response (so far) here.

I frankly don't have a lot to say about the subject, other than I support the sentiment. I certainly don't contribute to the problem as it seems like there are a lot funnier ways to make fun of people, especially in a sport as humbling as hockey, but I think it's a guy thing.

And really, sometimes my dealings with some men are so bewildering and frustrating (probably for them, too), I gotta think the gays are on to something. Stick with your own kind and save a lot of headaches trying to bridge the Mars/Venus gap.

But there's penises and strong arms and that bit of scruffy beard brushing your cheek (not necessarily listed in order of enjoyment, as shocking as that might be to some of you).

Anyway.

Where was I?

Homophobia. Right. But I think I've pretty much said all I want about it. The whole thing just falls under the, "Don't be such a f**king prick" category. But a lot of things are falling under that today.

Kudos to Justin for, as always, writing a really thoughtful piece and showing vulnerability that most guys don't have the stones to show. Takes a big man to say, "I've been doing this wrong, like, forever. I'm sorry. Let's fix it."

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Totally feeling this song today.



Christ, I love Lily Allen.

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And while I'm on video, Wild.com pointed readers to this fun video of Wild goalie coach Bob Mason getting his fight on (and, well, losing) back in the day, plus it's in French.

It's fun to watch a little hockey in French occasionally. It's all "blah blah blah LE BUUUUUUUUT! blah blah blah" to me since I can't do anything BUT acknowledge a goal in French. Oh, and say, "Yes."



Though I gotta say, skater/goalie fights aren't nearly as fun to watch as goalie/goalie fights. Something about a couple'a marshmallows going at is just fabulous. The head butt is pretty nice though.

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More hockey for me tonight. Hips are hurting from going Bambi a few times last night. And I mean that in the "small deer on ice going boom with legs askew" sense. Not any other sense. Wish I had some buddies at this drop-in. I could use a post-game drink that doesn't end in "Lite." For that matter, I could use a mid-afternoon drink.

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SLICE is nice

Ya ever have one of those nights where you give someone a wide open net and they whiff, fall down, and your defense accidentally puts the puck in your net on the clearing attempt?

That's kinda how I'm feeling tonight.

Thankfully my on-ice performance actually wasn't too shabby.

In fact, if I'd been keeping score, I think I might have won, because the other goalie got so lazy in the second half that she didn't even go down for shots. It was weird. But whatever. Way to make me look like a hard motherfuckin' worker out there. I'll take all the help I can get.

I may have some video to post, as my pal Snik came out and took video of about the last 3o or 40 minutes. Maybe you'll get to see them burn me glove side about seventy-billion times. Fucking glove.

A couple of things:

I got my Maltese neck and clavicle guard from UPS today and wore it tonight. As reviews promised, I didn't notice it at all while playing. Very comfortable, didn't really add to the heat, and the best part? SILENCE... I could move my head and the annoying plastic rattle of the dangler didn't jar my brain. Ahhh... Bliss!

The only problem is the "new" smell of it, even overpowered the stink of everything else I wear (which is really saying something). Kind of a chemical smell, so I'm hoping a few washes and that will dissipate. Still better than an odorless, noisy dangler.

Also, I wear these old cotton yoga pants when I play. I'd put knee pads in one pair because I was banging my knees on the ice when I went down, and I've been wearing those for several months. But tonight for some reason, I wore the pair without the knee pads and WOW was my butterfly so much better!!

I guess the thickness of the knee pads was interfering with the pads turning on my leg and without them and with the work I've been doing on that, they just flip down perfectly almost every time. Now I just need to work on being more vertical when I go down. I tend to let my weight fall backward a bit and I about ended up in the splits a couple of times. Ouch. But hey, I'll take progress.

And my knees don't feel banged up at all, so perhaps the knee pads are a thing of the past, too. That would be great since I have to keep re-sewing them.

Anyway, a good night in goal.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Pracky Sunday

Pracky's my new favorite hockey player slang. It's probably just the real hosers who use it, but nobody tell me for a while because I'm enjoying it. It's so much better than praaactice. Ugh. Practice is a drag. But Pracky? Oh! Pracky is fun!

Anyway, lots of positioning work for the skaters and butterfly sliding work for me. Scott TFCG came out and worked with me. I only said, "I'm 34 years old. I'm not doing that." one time, so I figure I was a pretty good student. Heh. We hit a lot of subjects, but it's just nice to have someone to say, "WTF do I do here?" or "I have this problem when I do this" and get an an answer on the spot.

His brother in law is in town, so he skated out and played D for me in the scrimmage. Gotta love when you have a real live Canadian playing in front of you. That's legit.

Nothing really spectacular from the night to report and I'm tired and massively hungry after eating only a granola bar and 2 flour tortillas in the last 12 hours. So, it's off to the kitchen and then bed for me to watch old epis of Trailer Park Boys while I drift off. I haven't met my f-bomb and dope-reference quota for the week, so it's essential that I work a little of that in.

Back to SLICE tomorrow night. Can't tell you how happy I am to be getting this gig on a fairly regular basis. It's a really nice, chick-friendly group and they're a good challenge, on top of the ice being such a pleasure to play on there. Though as cool as it's been, ice all over town should be getting better and better.

It was a little kludgy tonight at Willowbrook but not too bad, other than the HUGE divot in my crease. If we hadn't been close to finishing when I noticed it, I would have gotten someone to put some water in it. It was a good inch deep and 3" wide. You could lose a Ukrainian figure skater in it....
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Aeros lost again tonight. I still think this team is going to pull it together at some point. I still don't like Dubie. I wish they'd let Jaeger get in a game just to see what he can do. Oh well. When they make me the coach...

OK. Fooood. Nooooow.

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